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Do I ask too much of my friends with benefits?

Asked Feb 23, 2012, 10:57 PM — 13 Answers
Ok so this started like a Month ago. We are both single. I am 4 months out of a 4 year relationship. So I'm looking for a good time and a little comfort. No relationship. He is busy with school and sports ( he is a college freshman and I am a sophomore) and I am a little less busy. I want him to come when I throw hints. I don't want to think he is going to come then him not. We have been together like 5 times. I just want to know an I expecting too much out of him. I thought a **** buddy was someone who came over to have sex and leave the next morning. Am I wrong?

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13 Answers
crystal_clear's Avatar
crystal_clear Posts: 3, Reputation: 5
Junior Member
  
#2

Feb 24, 2012, 12:02 AM
No, you are not wrong. I mean he may have other stuff going on, but what college guy wouldn't want sex... maybe you just need to explain what you want. Its pretty obvious though. And, if he can't handle your needs then just find another college cutie willing to be your f.w.b.
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Needsadvice1234's Avatar
Needsadvice1234 Posts: 5, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
  
#3

Feb 24, 2012, 12:26 AM
It's weird because we agreed that being fwb was a great idea and we were both cool with it. I think he might be shy or dumb. Idk. I just feel like if he wants this he would put a tiny bit more effort into it.
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crystal_clear's Avatar
crystal_clear Posts: 3, Reputation: 5
Junior Member
  
#4

Feb 24, 2012, 01:06 AM
Maybe he is just dumb. I think he does need to put a little more effort into it. Its not like it takes up his entire day or he doesn't get anything out of it. Maybe he's just not the right one for this type of arrangement .
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odinn7's Avatar
odinn7 Posts: 4,815, Reputation: 5071
Expert
  
#5

Feb 24, 2012, 06:21 AM
You "throw hints"? Why don't you just come out and tell him? Hints don't work for most guys. Many of us need to be told something outright without hints.
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Needsadvice1234's Avatar
Needsadvice1234 Posts: 5, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
  
#6

Feb 24, 2012, 10:37 AM
Maybe u are right maybe he is not right for this but he is so good in bed! And about throwing hints instead of that I may just say can u come over. Now! But like I text him last night letting him know my plans have changed for the weekend and I'll be in town and said "u know what that means" and nothing then this morning.... Nothing. Wtf
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Cat1864's Avatar
Cat1864 Posts: 6,473, Reputation: 16130
Marriage Expert
  
#7

Feb 24, 2012, 11:09 AM


This may sound harsh, but I hope it gets you thinking about more than your 'needs'.

He is a human being. He is not a toy for you to take out of drawer just because you need sex. He has a life and is not at your beck and call.

I think you have two different relationships confused.

FWB: You are friends who enjoy being intimate on occasion. No strings. No future. Like, not love.

Booty Call: You meet up just for sex and nothing else. No talking. No strings. No emotions.

You have a booty call.

He may not be available every time you get the urge. He may be getting the idea that all he is to you is an object.

Talk to him and find out if he is having second thoughts.
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Needsadvice1234's Avatar
Needsadvice1234 Posts: 5, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
  
#8

Feb 24, 2012, 11:47 AM
@cat1864 I think u may be right and it sucks
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Fr_Chuck's Avatar
Fr_Chuck Posts: 72,965, Reputation: 37216
Expert
  
#9

Feb 24, 2012, 11:59 AM


Friends with benefits do not hint, boy and girl friends hit and play games.

He and you sit down and look at your day timers and plan days ahead to have meetings and the such.
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mmresd's Avatar
mmresd Posts: 1,946, Reputation: 2802
Ultra Member
  
#10

Feb 24, 2012, 03:56 PM
Well in college, sometimes you have several girls. So when you call maybe he is with someone else, and since the relationships are meaningless. Why leave one for the other one? When you have choices, you go for the one most comfortable, maybe he has someone that lives closer, that would make me not want to drive just to bust one out. Yeah I come over if you invite me, but only if I have the time to spend time with you.
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