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Okay, my husband and I have had issues for quite some time. For a time we separted and he convinced me to give him a second chance....he said I won't regret it. Well, I am. He gets in these grumpy moods and gets quite mean. This morning I asked him to help me get the kids ready because I had to take the littlest to daycare. I asked him supernice many times. He wouldn't help. Finally I said, "Can you please help me?" He got all pissy with me and started saying I should have gotten up earlier and this was his only gosh darn chance to sleep in. Today he goes in late and works in the evening. I explained that he could go back to sleep once we left. He was yelling at the kids and yelling at me and told me to "stop being such a B**TH when I woke him up" and to "shut the F**K up". I told him this was unacceptable and he should not talk to me like that, especially in front of the kids. He then called me a F***ING B***H as I was leaving the house. We have had many instances like this and each time he says he is sorry and he won't do it again. When he called me he said he was sorry. I told him I had heard it before. I am to the point where it hurts too much to love this man. I even told him that. I told him that I do not deserve this and the kids do not deserve to hear this. Is this just a rocky road in our marriage....or is this a serious issue and I should consider divorce? We have already done the counceling and parenting classes. HELP!!!
I mean there is so much about my hub I love .....his genorosity, off humor (like mine), how supportive he is of my career, and how much he oogles over me...even when I was really heavy. But there is other things that just drive me nuts about him. For example, I can't take a break unless my work is done. Sometimes I feel that he will do anything to get out of work. It is one excuse or another why he can't do something. He is such a huge procrastinator too...and I am very much a now person. I like to get stuff done now, so I don't have to worry about. Your insight is helpful.
When I want him to help me with something, he is always too tired.
Most recently, he put a rock through a teachers car window with another friend of his (see my other post).
Is your husband passive aggressive? If so, you have major problems ahead. Plus, what the kids learn from his bad behavior will follow them for the rest of their lives, or until they isolate it and work to correct it.
A zebra doesn't change it stripes and only a dirtball would verbally abuse someone they love. My bet i that he is actually quite insecure and weak on the inside.
In the clip above...the he was my 8 yr old son. There are many things about him that he is insecure about but he is really struggling to find solutions to. He has a lot of emotional excess baggage from his childhood...and sometime I feel that I have to take on a mother role to help him through it....and then he accuses me of acting like his mother. I am so confused. I know what I want in a relationship and for most areas he is it. I really don't know if I am who he wants in a relationship. You think we would have figured this out before getting married....but we didnt. I feel like I am living with Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde some days. Everything is great and this it all of a sudden changes. My mom asked me if he could be bi polar....and I said I didnt know. My honest thought is that his ADHD and inability to cope with stress constructively is the culprit. Your thoughts?
Star, there is so much that you must learn by talking and listening. Then there is still a profesional opinion, before we can diagnose any kind of mental help. You have much work to do, before you can help some one else. A lot of hard work is what a relationship is about, and you both must help each other down this path. Deal with your own changes and then evaluate what else needs to be done. One thing at a time. You be independant, and self sufficent.
It took me a lot of reflection to truly understand your answer Tal. Now I get it. Thanks for the honesty. Also, my hub finally got into the doctor. We just switched docs and they think that there is something seriously medically wrong with him. They think it might be with his heart. He is scheduled for a catscan in the near future. That could explain a lot. Thanks again for all of your support and words of wisdom.
Well, I don't think I can hang in there much longer. They have him on new meds, and it seemed to be working and then his lack of ambition kicked in again. My kid has gotten into more trouble and I think I need to get out. He blames me for his lack of ambition and says if I didn't nag him so much he would get more done. My question is...are you doomed to hell if you get divorced? What about if you remarry? Does any one have any bible versus to give me some insight.....the ones I found aren't very positive.
My question is...are you doomed to hell if you get divorced? What about if you remarry? Does any one have any bible versus to give me some insight.....the ones I found aren't very positive.
No , no and no. The lord takes care of those who take care of themselves.
If you leave you husband, then you will still be doing everything, right and maybe even more. I am sure he does some things you will then have to do. The best chance you have at a relationship is the one your in. Do not think you are going to find a better replacement. YOu most likely will not.
Well, thanks for all of your advice. I made up my mind and it wasn't an easy choice. I have to get out. He has been really having issues with my oldest son and says the cruelest things to him. Granted, my oldest can be a very tough child to deal with....but he is a child. I have to protect him. This morning my son had off of school and he was complaining about cleaning and my hub picked him up and threw him on the couch. Then he proceeded to tell him that if he turned on the TV again before his work was done, he'd "break his FU*KING fingers!" You can't talk to anyone like that, let alone a child....his child. So, I conclude that it may be a while when I get on here again....but I will. I thank you for your wisdom...but I got to keep my kids safe. Take care and God bless you all!
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