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    Difference between Loving someone and Being In Love

    Asked Mar 27, 2008, 06:50 AM — 10 Answers
    Okay I received a message from someone asking me what was the difference between loving and being "IN love"therefore I decided to post my opinion on the subject. Feel free to add to the post..

    Difference between Loving someone and being "In Love"


    The Difference:

    First let’s define love: It’s a tender affection for somebody, feeling, desire, kindness, a strong liking, an emotion, a longing, and desire.


    Being "in love" is an altered state. Your focus is on your partner and you can't bare being without that person. You are in a bubbly state of a desiring feeling to want them in your life. You look beyond the present and start looking towards the future.

    You become smitten by them even on their worst days. You stop looking at what they can offer you and look more towards what you can achieve together. There is a unity between you and your partner. You’re enamored, besotted, love-struck.

    “in” Love.. Your IN it for the long run, your not just sitting there your interacting to keep it, You are trying, Your mind is IN it your soul is IN it your body is IN it. That is why it’s called “In love” you took the dive!


    However to have Love for another person, in contrast is closer to appreciation and affection. However you don't feel that needing when separated you care about them in which you don't want anything bad to happen to them. Your not in that bubbly state, you can easily cancel out any future with them. For you to love someone you lack that intense intimate feeling, the hopes are no longer hopeful, the dreams have faded, the elated fantasy is now a mediocre feeling of just being comfortable with their happiness, and your not too focus on that person anymore.

    To love is; to cherish, to be kind to, to want to spend time with, to respect, to enjoy, to trust, to want to know better.

    to be in love;
    to be smitten, infatuated, enamored, hooked, taken with, besotted, head over heels.


    Last edited by jolienoire; Mar 27, 2008 at 11:09 AM.
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    10 Answers
    AmExp's Avatar
    AmExp Posts: 330, Reputation: 11
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    #2

    Mar 27, 2008, 07:34 AM
    Ok... I am glad someone took the time to really define that. From reading this post I was definitely in love but oh well... I guess I will have my shot at love again, hopefully. Thanks for the clarification!
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    Smoked's Avatar
    Smoked Posts: 157, Reputation: 29
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    #3

    Mar 27, 2008, 07:36 AM
    1 Corinthians 13:4-8
    4.Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5.It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
    6.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    8.Love never fails.

    The above is the best definition of love I know,

    "In"Love is a harder thing to define. When your stay your "In" love it tends to be conveyed as a feeling more then an action. You have Overwhelming feelings of "love".

    No two people could tell you what it means to them to be "in" love. Its subjective at every turn. You can love someone but have no commitment, are you "in" love or are you loving? Not trying to play devils advocate here but this is a very interesting topic.

    Love is easy to say. My wife and I live by the following statement:

    I’ve made a mind will decision to value you, cherish you, and to be devoted to you above all else in this world except for the Lord.
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    AmExp's Avatar
    AmExp Posts: 330, Reputation: 11
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    #4

    Mar 27, 2008, 07:43 AM
    SMOKED, I would disagree... I was in love and it failed, miserably! Are you referring to when love is reciprocated only then it does not fail? Even then, I would still disagree... You can love someone all you want and they could love you back all they want but if it isn't meant to be then it just isn't right. Love or not.
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    Smoked's Avatar
    Smoked Posts: 157, Reputation: 29
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    #5

    Mar 27, 2008, 07:58 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by AmExp
    SMOKED, I would disagree...I was in love and it failed, miserably! Are you referring to when love is reciprocated only then it does not fail? Even then, I would still disagree...You can love someone all you want and they could love you back all they want but if it isn't meant to be then it just isn't right. Love or not.
    Hi Amp,

    I am sorry to hear your love failed. To truly understand the dynamic of why your relationship failed, we would have to understand what each of you wanted from that relationship. Two people together have to make a choice. A choice to be together. A relationship, loving, supporting, etc,Takes work. You have to choose to work at it every day. If either one of you does not put in the effort that relationship is doomed to fail.

    My point is that love is a choice more then anything else. You are not going to be happy with that other person day in and day out. You are not going to have a picture perfect relationship ever. But you can choose to work through thick and thin with that person. With a loving heart, and following those simple guidelines I listed previously. When you take vows there is a reason it says "for better or worse". That does not just apply to if that person get sick or not.

    Now, I am referring to a marriage there, but application to any serious relationship should be the same.
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    AmExp's Avatar
    AmExp Posts: 330, Reputation: 11
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    #6

    Mar 27, 2008, 10:27 AM
    I guess not... because my relationship was so one-sided. I think I was the only one actually taking it seriously. Ugh
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    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #7

    Mar 27, 2008, 10:44 AM
    Its okay AMEXP, you made a wrong decision and that is okay, but you are really not at loss you gained and learned from this relationship now you set your standards a little higher and now you will be cautious I suppose from this point forward. Loving is a good thing, and for the next time, love harder, and smarter... Just don't let him ruin your outlook on the opposite sex because then he WINS... His loss.. that's the way I see it...
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    JanesWords's Avatar
    JanesWords Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Nov 2, 2011, 12:46 AM
    LOVE:
    When you love someone, it's eternal. You will always love your family, pets, and possibly inanimate objects. Love is a very strong emotion felt towards another, and is not always copacetic and or mutual. Not to be confused with the phrase, "In Love." Also, the term love was not intended to be used to describe people, places, or things that we only like.

    IN LOVE:
    To be "In Love" you must feel a sense of utter devotion. You simply cannot see yourself with anyone else, nor would you ever want to consider it. Cheating is an impossible feat, as well as lying, even if it is in your nature to lie. You will only ever be "In Love" with ONE PERSON. This fact is often confused with the simple term of love, however take notice that if you are able to 'get over' the one you claimed to be "In Love" with some time prior, that it was not in fact that you were "In Love" so much as you had only loved them.

    Quote: "If you have two loves, stay with the newer one, for you never would have fallen for the second, if you were truly "In Love" with the first." -true story.
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    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 1,978, Reputation: 551
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    #9

    Nov 2, 2011, 10:36 AM
    "Your focus is on your partner and you can't bare being without that person." I see this as codependancy and obsession, not as being in love.
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    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 1,978, Reputation: 551
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    #10

    Nov 2, 2011, 10:38 AM
    @AmExp

    Maybe you were "in" love but the other person wasn't, or maybe you just though that you were. How can you say that it failed?
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