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Hello everyone, first off I just want to say that I'm really happy that there is a website here that people can ask for advice..it gives people a different look at things..whether they take your advice or not..its good to here someones opinion..On with me story I go...
My friends introduced me to this guy, that they are friends with, and hang out with him alot. I ended up meeting him, and we became friends. We hang out sometimes, and have our laughs and what not. Hes 28 and I'm 18..well almost 18..3 days away!! woohoo!! I have a lot of older friends because I am very mature for my age. I have been living on my own since I was 14, and working all that time. It really sucks when you get your childhood taken from you, anyways on with the story..(I'm rambling off the subject hehe ) I do that sometimes. The other night, my friends with having a barbecue over at there house, I decided to go, and I had a drink. Now I am a total Lush because I do not drink. Alcoholism is in my family so I really dont like to drink at all in fact but on special occasion I will have one. I had one margarita, and was very much intoxicated. I walked home, and when I got there I saw that my friend that is "28" had called me.I called him back but he didnt answer, so I decided to mosey my way on over to his house. I got there went threw his back door..and he was sleeping. He woke up, and we were talking about how I was intoxicated. He woke up and chatted with me for about 20 minutes until I decided to let him go back to sleep. When I leaned down to give him a hug..I kissed him..I stoped after one kiss..and asked him what was wrong..I said to him why wont you kiss me back..He told me because I'm not 18 yet, and that is daughter is 12 so it felt wierd to know im not 18. He also said to me that I'm just drunk and I wont feel like I want to kiss him in the morning. Than he asked me how I feel about him..I told him that I thought he was a great friend, and a nice guy. I told him goodnight and that I was sorry for kissing him, he said" We will talk about this tomorrow". I told him I didnt want to talk to him about it. He didnt say anything, so I walked out the door. He called me the next day but I didnt answer. I called him back, and than he didnt answer. Havent talked to him since. We were friends, and I loved hanging out with him. I screwed up by kissing him, but in a way I do feel something for him, and it wasnt me just being drunk. Do you think I ruined my friendship with him? and another question Do you think that possibly he may like me but he wants to wait until I am of age? Just remember that he didnt pull away when I kissed him, he didnt tell me to stop. I stopped myself, because I didnt want to scare him away.
Its difficult to answer your questions, but there are a few possibilities.
1. he mentioned that he a has a 12 yr old daughter. Think about it you are only 6 yrs older than his daughter - that could be weird for him.
2. he could have thought it was the alcohol doing silly things to you
He could also be a genuine mature man and didnt want to take advantage of you (his good friend) just coz u where drunk.
You have to realise whether if like him as a friend or more.
If you just like him as a good friend, i just wouldnt mention anything to him about that evening.. nothing at all.
But if you think you do like him and may wanna take it further... just take it slow and maybe try let your friendship evolve into something more by time.
I would wait until you are 'of age' - he'll probably contact you to congratulate you on your birthday. The phoning and not answering game has been played by many, and you should not worry about it. He'll chuck it off as a 'childish' move. When you meet next, just be cordial and try not to turn red or ignore him. And, as stated before, forget that little error - get back to being friends so that he can find out how mature you can be. Face up to a situation when it comes, as running or ignoring does not solve much, it just confuses you all the more.
He may have fears that you're just "coming on to him" and playing games with him. I think that's how I'd feel if I had been in his shoes. A word of advice here ; you'd be wise to lay off the booze since alcoholism runs in your family and 1 margarita seems to affect you so dramatically. No doubt he's concerned about that as well. Also, even though you're about to turn 18, remember that in the US one must be 21 to drink alcohol legally.
The great think about friendships are that, they can still be there after a relationship, or after you have had problems, because they aren't as commitment bassed, and they are all about "excepting people as who they are". Im sure that after this, he will still respect you as a friend, so the answer is no, Im possitive you havnt ruined your friendship. Kissing him isnt going to ruin something that was there before hand, the friendlyness and the bond made by being each others friend.
) I do that sometimes. The other night, my friends with having a barbecue over at there house, I decided to go, and I had a drink. Now I am a total Lush because I do not drink. Alcoholism is in my family so I really dont like to drink at all in fact but on special occasion I will have one. I had one margarita, and was very much intoxicated. I walked home, and when I got there I saw that my friend that is "28" had called me.I called him back but he didnt answer, so I decided to mosey my way on over to his house. I got there went threw his back door..and he was sleeping. He woke up, and we were talking about how I was intoxicated. He woke up and chatted with me for about 20 minutes until I decided to let him go back to sleep. When I leaned down to give him a hug..I kissed him..I stoped after one kiss..and asked him what was wrong..I said to him why wont you kiss me back..He told me because I'm not 18 yet, and that is daughter is 12 so it felt wierd to know im not 18. He also said to me that I'm just drunk and I wont feel like I want to kiss him in the morning. Than he asked me how I feel about him..I told him that I thought he was a great friend, and a nice guy. I told him goodnight and that I was sorry for kissing him, he said" We will talk about this tomorrow". I told him I didnt want to talk to him about it. He didnt say anything, so I walked out the door. He called me the next day but I didnt answer. I called him back, and than he didnt answer. Havent talked to him since. We were friends, and I loved hanging out with him. I screwed up by kissing him, but in a way I do feel something for him, and it wasnt me just being drunk. Do you think I ruined my friendship with him? and another question Do you think that possibly he may like me but he wants to wait until I am of age? Just remember that he didnt pull away when I kissed him, he didnt tell me to stop. I stopped myself, because I didnt want to scare him away.
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