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Did He Cheat?

Asked Oct 8, 2011, 03:47 AM — 36 Answers
I've been with my boyfriend a year now and we've been living together for a while. I'm 18 and he's 20. A couple of weeks before I moved in with him, we had a 6 day break up in January because of a rumour that eventually got sorted out. Anyway, about 4 months ago (June), I found out that during them 6 days, he'd sent a picture of his c*** to another girl, and then she'd told him she wanted to sleep with him and so she turned up at his house and they apparently just talked about me and him getting back together (he also commented on all her Facebook pictures of her bending over that week too). Also, I found out that he'd gone clubbing and his friend had met these three girls and had persuaded them to come to my boyfriends house because apparently the girls had 'no where to sleep that night'.
My boyfriends friend decided to cheat on his long term girlfriend with one of the girls he'd met in town at my boyfriends house. The two other girls were sisters, and one of them my boyfriend once fancied but she left early. So, my boyfriend and his friend said that my boyfriends friend slept with the other girl in the other bedroom whilst my boyfriend and this girl slept in my boyfriends room. Even though everyone told me she slept on the floor the whole night and that they never did anything...
Anyway, when we got back together after the 6 day breakup, (I didn't know anything had happened back then), I moved in, and found loads of jewellery on the shelves and my boyfriend quickly through them away and I didn't think anything of it (as he said they were his friends girlfriends) and there were *** stains on the bed sheets and my boyfriend said they were his friends and that girls when his friend cheated. But, when I later found out, his friend had slept with her in the spare bed in the other room! I'm so confused!
So, I asked everyone there that night if he cheated and at first they said yes just to wind me up because I told my boyfriends friends girlfriend that his friend had cheated on her and so they wound me up out of spite. But, then when they all changed their story and said he didn't cheat and that they lied because of me telling on his friend.
I'm writing this today because last night, my friend (who happens to fancy me) told me that a while back, my boyfriend and his friend were bragging to him about sleeping with them girls, but the dates don't add up from what he was telling me.

Please help me anyone, I'm so confused because I'm in love with my boyfriend and I know he really isn't the type to cheat, but everything is so puzzling! :'( thank you for reading x

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36 Answers
jessam's Avatar
jessam Posts: 10, Reputation: -1
Junior Member
  
#2

Oct 8, 2011, 06:58 AM
Well technically he didn't cheat because you were broke up for six days but he should have been honest and say he had sex. He should man up if he truly loves you but since you were broken up in those six days he didn't really cheat. If he loves you he will let you know the truth. Honesty is best even though the truth can hurt. Lies end up hurting worst.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,336, Reputation: 50356
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#3

Oct 8, 2011, 10:33 AM


With all these drama and confusion, and everyone so deep in your business I would be confused too. BUT, if you were broken up, he didn't cheat, and thats why its better to talk it out, or cool off a few days before you officially end things, because it saves a lot of problems later.

I think the real question is whom do you trust?
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Mozzarellaa's Avatar
Mozzarellaa Posts: 24, Reputation: 8
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#4

Oct 8, 2011, 11:16 AM
We did not break up though, we were still together but having some space :/
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,336, Reputation: 50356
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#5

Oct 8, 2011, 11:56 AM


Doesn't matter what you call it, what was the agreement between you?
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Mozzarellaa's Avatar
Mozzarellaa Posts: 24, Reputation: 8
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#6

Oct 8, 2011, 12:31 PM
That we would meet up and talk every now and again. Through that time and still love each other. So I don't understand why he did all this and why nothing else adds up when we were still basically together, just giving space.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,336, Reputation: 50356
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#7

Oct 8, 2011, 12:52 PM


Unless you had specifically defined space and the rules of good behavior, then he was free to do whatever he wants, or thats obviously what he thought. I guess neither of you asked if they were free to date others, so with such a vague thing as space, easy to see he thought he was free to do as he pleased.

Thats often the case when couples don't communicate, or at least ask what the partner means. Whose idea was it to have some space?

If it was yours, why did you not make your meaning clear? I can bet neither of you asked what you were up to during this space thing and he never bothered to mention it. I would be highly upset with that lack of truth. Somebody would have some explaining to do big time, because I would feel led on.

I would also be of the mind of showing them what real space was, by getting rid of someone that kept secrets, that I was the ONLY one that DIDN'T know. Just me.
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Mozzarellaa's Avatar
Mozzarellaa Posts: 24, Reputation: 8
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#8

Oct 8, 2011, 01:30 PM
It was mine, yes. But I did tell him that we couldn't see anyone else as it was only 6 days and that's just ridiculous to move on that quick after we love each other.
But when we met up to talk, he told me he did nothing with anyone at all and didn't mention anything about all this so I thought for months after moving in that nothing happened so I'm not sure.
I just want to know if he did sleep with this girl and the girl he sent the photo to
because his best friend of 20 years told me (the one who was there that night) that he cheated but only out of spite because I told his girl he cheated on her. So my boyfriend didn't talk to him for months and was heartbroken that his best friend had lied what should I think?
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,336, Reputation: 50356
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#9

Oct 8, 2011, 02:28 PM
If you are to confused as to who to believe, step back from everyone and decide for yourself whether or not he is worth all this drama and confusion. What would be your reaction if you did find out the truth?

Has he been a good boy since then, since this happened a while ago?Only you can decide what you want to do, if its best for you or not. I think you are around to many people you can't trust, including your boyfriend. Maybe you need a break from them all.
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Mozzarellaa's Avatar
Mozzarellaa Posts: 24, Reputation: 8
Junior Member
  
#10

Oct 8, 2011, 02:45 PM
Thank you so much for all your answers by the way.

I get what you mean he's been good in most ways, but I did find messages of a girl flirting with him and then he added a 'sex on webcam' girl on hotmail. Even though he said it was a virus added, which I understood because I get them all the time but it still got me thinking.

When I shouted at him yesterday for the girl who slept 'on his floor' thing, he started crying and still says nothing happened with anyone because he was too upset over me, and my boyfriend never cries.

I just need everyone to read about the events during the 6 days and give your opinion on if he did really do anything physical with them, and I know you don't know my boyfriend but he doesn't seem the type as he shows he loves me and always does and is always there for me and just really doesn't seem the type, I can't explain it.
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