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Honestly i never thought i'd be on here again talking about my ex anymore. Hopefully this is the last time.
My ex and i had broken up many times over the last 2 years. She had always left me, saying she couldn't deal with a long distance relationship, or there was someone else in her life. She is still in high school, i am in college.
So over the last 2 weeks she started texting me again saying that she wanted to work things out, i didn't really care to much in the beginning because she still had a boyfriend whom she just started being with, plus she always did this so i thought i'd just wait it out. She then claimed that she was going to come down and see me on my birthday. (which is about a 300 mile drive). I had told her that the only way i'd ever get back together with her was if she showed up at my door step (thinking she never actually would). So i was kinda getting excited about it, so i decided to keep talking to her and if she actually showed up, to try and work things out with her.
The problem was she still had her boyfriend the entire time. So everyday she wouldn't be able to talk when she was around him, or when she was still at school. She would blow me off everyday no matter what it was i needed, or asked of her. She woudl still read my texts, but just not reply cause of certain people being around. I felt like i was always being blown off. Then when she would reply to me they would always be simple one worded texts like, "yes, no, IDK, Yea, sorry." It got extremely annoying. i tried telling her about this several nights in a row. She always said she was sorry and that she would be able to talk more later.
Once i would bring up my feelings and ask her how she felt, she woudl just say, "busy, i will later." even though i woud offer to let her go since she was so busy, but she always said no.
Last night i got tired or putting up with this, cause not only did i feel she was cheating behind her boyfriends back with me, she would never make up her mind on who she actually wanted to be with. I waited around and got blown off constantly for about a week and a half. She would only text me around her schedule. When she did have time she would claim that she loved me and wanted to be with me. But when i asked her who she wanted to be with more, or if she was going to leave her current boyfriend she just said IDK.
I have been forgiving this girl for a year now. I have never done anything wrong to ever hurt her, or wrong the relationship, it was always her. Yes, i did make things hard at some point, but i never did anything bad. Last night i told her that it wasn't going to work, because i got so tired of being blown off and treated badly. (for the last hour she woudln't even tell me what her and her friends were doing, always saying "IDK, something." I told her that i would always love her and that i was sorry. She never replied.
Now i am neverous... what if she still does show up for my birthday? Every time i tried to tell this girl how i felt she just stormed off and wouldn't text back. I do love all the memories we shared together, but some reason i feel like i was a bad person for not believing in her when she was about to do something so huge for me.
you should just move on and forget about this girl. i know its hard, but if she really loved you and 'wanted to be with you' then why isnt she with you? instead shes with another guy, and on top of this shes going behind this guys back telling you she loves you and wants to be with you instead.. what does that say about her? you did the right thing by telling her its not going to work, but i dont know what you had to be sorry about? telling her you'll always love her may cause her to think you'll always be there for her anyway and is not entirely losing you - therefore, she wont know what shes losing. you said she always left you over the last two years, wouldnt you rather be upset and move on and with time you'll heal, than be upset over and over again everytime she ends it causing you to go back to square 1 each time? you want a girl who is keen and appreciates being with you, loyal and secure - this girl doesnt seem like any of those.
You clearly love this woman. No I dont think you made the right decision.
This is one of the reasons why I don’t advise someone start a long distance relationship. Yes, some long distance relationships have happy endings but the majority of them do not.
Long distance relationship is temporary phase of a relationship the goal is to eventually close that distance. You are in college she is still in high school living with her parents. I don’t think she is mature enough to handle a long distance relationship. This is why she started another relationship with someone else, she may not love this person but it’s someone to spend time with.
Now, she is coming over for your birthday for what?
Your in college there are some many smart, attractive women available to date. Tell your ex-girlfriend not to come, break up on good terms. Get your mind right and then date the woman in your area.
If your ex-girlfriend decides that she is ready to come attend a college in your area. If you two happened to meet you it will be up to you to revive this dead relationship.
you should just move on and forget about this girl. i know its hard, but if she really loved you and 'wanted to be with you' then why isnt she with you? instead shes with another guy, and on top of this shes going behind this guys back telling you she loves you and wants to be with you instead.. what does that say about her? you did the right thing by telling her its not going to work, but i dont know what you had to be sorry about? telling her you'll always love her may cause her to think you'll always be there for her anyway and is not entirely losing you - therefore, she wont know what shes losing. you said she always left you over the last two years, wouldnt you rather be upset and move on and with time you'll heal, than be upset over and over again everytime she ends it causing you to go back to square 1 each time? you want a girl who is keen and appreciates being with you, loyal and secure - this girl doesnt seem like any of those.
I think you should try -- hard -- to put her out of your mind. This is not a healthy relationship for either of you. You shouldn't be trying to figure out what she's doing every second. She probably believed that she would show up at your door--in a romantic flight of fantasy--but I suspect she's not going to show up. If she does, decide then what you want to do. But you need to stop trying to second guess her intentions. You are clearly not getting what you want or need and she seems like she's just stringing you along from what you say. Maybe her current boyfriend makes her feel unimportant so she's looking to you to make her feel better. Who knows? You are young. College is a great place to look for a partner. Look for someone who is more able to commit. And you should likewise commit yourself to one person at a time, or you'll end up back in a situation like this one...
She sounds like she is stringing you along just to comfort her as a back up rebound plan B IF they ever did break up. Get on with your life. If she comes for your birthday it will only give you false hopes.
If she can't get time in to say more than yes, no, IDK
then IDK how she figures she is going to be able to get away long enough to come to your birthday.
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