| Did i do the right thing!
Hey guys, i just wanted to give you an update on my "situation". Quick recap: My gf and i broke up back in June, continued talking and eventually ended up back to normal if not better than before. But, that all came to an end after getting into an argument at a party which she took me to where she just basically forgot she had taken me and just sat around a bunch of people i did not know. Anyway, we "broke up" again but this time she was like, "i just dont want anymore guy drama", and "i just feel like being alone". Of course, i did all i could to salvage what was left to no avail. But she insisted we keep things as friends. As most of you know, its too difficult to go from being in love in a relationship and then try and JUST be friends, but i love her so much that i gave it a shot. She would text me every once in a while just to say hi and see how i was doing. I never contacted her, she would always text me. sometimes we would text for a few minutes, sometimes for a couple hours just about anything. That went on for about a month 1/2 or so. Finally one morning while driving to work i text her saying, "just wanted to say i love you and miss you so much. Dont even care if you write/say it back, i just wanted to tell you." She wrote back saying "You know i'll always love you no matter what". For some reason that just lit a fire under me. I responded by saying that i know she will and so will i but i was at a crossroads where i didnt know whether to let her go or hold on to that little bit of hope and that i wish she could help me make sense of all this. She responded by saying that we should both just move on but she did not want to lose me as a friend....
This is where i just made a complete 180. I told her that she cant ride both sides of the fence like that. You cant just cross that friendship line and then decide to go back. At least not at this time. I sure many of you out there have had that one significant other tell you "let's just be friends" Doenst always work out right? Well in my case, i knew i couldnt do it because im still in love with her. So i told her that now that i knew what she wanted then i could do what i had to do. She said to move on so thats exactly what i intend to do. I told her that in order for me to move on i would hace to cut her completely out of my life meaning NO CONTACT whatsoever!!!! Cuz there is no way im gonna ever get over her if im sitting here trying to be her friend while still being in love with her. I asked her if she wanted to be friends to leave the door open for a possible opportunity to get back together in the future, or if that was just not even an option. All i needed to hear was a maybe or, we'll see what happens or, something along that line that let me know that the door was still open for something to possibly happen again. But instead her answer was to move on. So thats what i intend to do. She responded by saying that if she was as important to me as i said she was then it wouldnt be so easy to stop talking to her completely. So obviosly i struck a nerve somewhere for her to say that. I told her that this was NOT easy. Im letting the person i love the most go. thats not something you just brush off. It hurt me to have to do it but you know what, im just taking care of me just like she is taking care of her. She got mad and said we could have kept it cool but if thats what i wanted then fine, that she was not gonna beg me for my friendship. She said " Have a great life, i wish you the best " and that was the last i heard from her. I told her one last thing. My decision wasnt made overnight, and it also wasnt permanent and that its not like i wont ever talk to her again, just till i feel like ive moved on or im with someone else. I told her that im sure we will meet again somewhere down the road after all we've been friends for 5 years and im not about to just forget her. But i DO feel like i need this time of no contact in order to move on with my life.
Here's the thing. I feel like i did the right thing because like i said i know i wont get over her by pretending to be friends, and she's made it clear that she wants to move on so thats what led me to my decision. It breaks my heart cuz i really dont know how we got here but i know its something i had to do cuz i just couldnt do it anymore. She would text me randomly sometimes and all that did was get me all excited and i would get my hopes up for nothing. Sometimes i would be doing fine after not hearing from her for about a week but then she would text me and i would get all sad thinking about how things USED to be. So i think by doing this i can finally get some closure and move on. Since then ive joined the gym, i bought myself a bike (Suzuki GSX-R 750 woo hoo!) and i got a couple new tattoos and just began going out with my friends a bit more and just having fun and im feeling great! I do still miss her once in a while but it gets a bit easier day by day, so to all you outnthere in the same situation just hang in there! Im not really that religious but i believe God will not give you more than you can handle so you'll be ok. Anyway, im open to any comments. let me know what you think of my decision and if you've been in a similar one and what happened.......
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