Girlfriend troubles, I think shes cheating on me

IDontKnowWhatTaDoHELP · #1 Apr 15, 2007, 02:00 PM

Hey ppl I have a huge problem here. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for over a year now and things do get bumpy here and there but we get by.

Now I am gona tell you the whole story so everything is clear.

Lets start with last year around the time me and my gf started dating. The first few weeks were good we got along nice, but then I noticed she started talking to this guy, I knew him from what friends told me and he is a complete idiot so I told her how I felt and she agreed to stop talking to him all together. So never heard from that guy again until like last week when I was in a school assembly when I looks over and saw them 2 talking and she was laughing and I will say it I was completely jealous I guess, but isn't that natural? So anyways I confronted her about it and she denied it and said she was telling him to be quite, but my gut said otherwise and usually my feelings are right, so I asked her again a few more times and little pieces came out and came out and then she said he was her friend. So I am kinda mad because this guy is no good (drugs, drinking, total idiot) if it was a better guy I wouldn't be that mad(still jealous but I guess I trust her enough for that). So anyways we finally worked it out and she agreed with what I told her about him and she said she wouldn't talk to him anymore. (hmm) So every things fine and then one day (actually today) I decided to send her an e-mail, I sent her one (a nice warm loving one) and I felt good, so then I logged into her e-mail to see if it was there (we know each others passwords) So then I click her friends folder and theres about 10 different ones from a girl I think is a bad influence on her.

So I begin to read it cause I was curious of course, so in thee-mail it is a conversation about if she would be able to "get" this guy if we wernt together. As well as my gf said she wondered if I was going to break up with her then she could go with him. Continuing on and then she said:

"i feel so good about myelf all the time when I am around (guys name)
but (I am second in line [Thanks])
I have fun with sometimes thats if were not arguing (me)

The girl told my girlfriend its her choice and everything which surprised me and I felt happy about because I didn't think this girl would say that. But then I thought wait lets recal that "when I am around (guys name)" When I thought about that I felt like everything was crashing around me I thought I was gona have a nervous breakdown or something. So continuing on as usual I confronted her about it and of course she denied it at first but little by little she confessed, and then told me she did have feelings for him but then they went away. (PLEASE NOTE the e-mail was written around 5 days ago).

Now I have to put in everything to the story so here is here excuse and it seems plausible but it still hurts. "I only wrote that cause I was confused and stress because of my grandma being in the hospital". It seems plausible but, it still hurts everytime I think about it knowing that she had and maybe still has feelings for another guy.

I started feeling nauseous and sick so I went for a run to clear my head, I ran to my gfs place and we talked for a bit she cried we hugged kissed and then I left feeling a bit better. But now I just wanted to see something, so I tried to log into her e-mail account and just like I thought her password was changed. What should I do I am out of ideas

PLEASE HELP ME

P.S I really love her and I don't wanna leave her, I have never felt this way about anyone. I gave her a promise ring for her birthday she loved it.

O yeah I am only 16 and i am sure that will make a big difference.

Sorry for the longness of this, but it did feel a bit better to get it all out.

Jambu · Apr 15, 2007, 02:11 PM

well, 1st thing is your only 16, your very young and you will feel alot for her cos you have been going out for a year, but think 2 yourself are you in love, would she do anything for you? Also i feel that you don't trust her, why else would you go through her own emails. I think she does like you alot, but take things slowly, don't rush anything, she may blamed the email on her grandma being ill, but that's just an excuse 2 fob you away for a while. If i were you, go round and ask her what she really wants, be calm and adult about it and ask her how she truly feels for you and the other guy

IDontKnowWhatTaDoHELP · Apr 15, 2007, 02:22 PM

First off thanks for writing, well asking myself do I love her yes I defiantly do, and we do talk about how we feel about eachother and I believe that yeah she would do anything for me, I mean she said she would many times and I swear I can tell if shes telling the truth or not and I feel shes truthful about that. Honestly theres not a whole lot of trust at the moment, and my reason would be that she has done many things behind my back that I wouldn't approve of and I later find out and she once swore on our relationship she didn't do it but later that day I was told by someone else she did it, so I asked her again and little by little she told me. Thats happened about 2 or 3 times, the things she did are huge but its the fast she was lieing to me. So yeah I think i checked the e-mail cause I didnt feel she was being truthful to me, (but if you go looking for something you will probably find it). I have already talked to her about it but, your right I guess I need to ask her what she really wants instead of her continuing to tell me that she loves me. And I did ask her when I was over there how she truly felt and from what I felt she was telling the truth for the most part, cause like I said I can usually tell if shes being truthful or meaningful.

Jambu · Apr 15, 2007, 02:28 PM

Just ask her whether she truly wants you and why she lied you, and say u don' t deserve it, cos u wouldn't do it 2 her. If she loved you, would she off lied 2 you? Jus say 2 her if we can't communicate as a couple, why are we 2gether? cos your keeping secrets away from me.

IDontKnowWhatTaDoHELP · Apr 15, 2007, 02:31 PM

Okay, thats true I kinda tried to say that but I is really hard for me to just say something that can jeopardize the relationship like " Why are we even together " Its just really hard for me to say that but if you think I should I will give it a shot.

Jambu · Apr 15, 2007, 02:33 PM

it's ur decision not mine, do what u want 2 do, i'm sure u can find someone else who won't lie 2 you, u may feel u don't wanna be alone, but i'm sure everything will come out in open if she really does like you, u may get hurt, but there's only one way 2 find out

IDontKnowWhatTaDoHELP · Apr 15, 2007, 02:36 PM

Yeah.. But I just can't see myself being with anyone else, I just feel so strongly for her I just wouldn't know what to do if we wernt together. Im gona try to see if we can get together and have a long talk about everything. Hopefully that will work. Thanks for you help

Jambu · Apr 15, 2007, 02:40 PM

no problem, read my question that i've sent you, i'm kinda in the same situation, so i know how ur feeling, i would really like your opnion, would b very helpful



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