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why dose he come around saying he still wants to be with me?
about 4 years ago i was in a really good realshionship with a brillant guy even though i was young i thought he was the one and that it would last forever although he later finished it for one reason or another, since we spilt up all that time ago we have kept in contact well not close contact but we speak on the fone somtimes and he comes around to see me. each time i see this guy some of my feeling i had come back for him, he also acts like he has feelings for me still he not the kinda a guy that shows his feelings but i can tell by the way he looks at me, what he says and the way he acts around me that he still mite have some feelings still there, he has even said to me that he is sorry he finished it for the reasons he did and we always talk about the times we had together, he often comes around after he has been clubbing and hints that he still wants to be with me when i ask him why he manily says this stuff when he has had a drink he says that he feel for confdent to tell me, i still feel that he is the one i dont know why ok its along time ago, when he started coming around to see me after the break up i thought ihe was just trying it on to see if he could get me into bed but i have neva done this i dont think he is just trying to be friendly because he never stays in contact with any of his other ex's so why dose he come around if he know that nothing is going to happen between us unless we got back togeva is he for real and dose he have feelings or am i getting played along ????????
i have many a time but it just ends getting forgotten, he dosent really like talk about things like that because of his pride but when he is drunk its a different matter he tells me how he feels about everything, tell him " its just because your drunk you are saying that" he says no it because i am not as shy and have confeidence to tell you when i have had a few drinks
i think you need to get it out of him while he isnt drunk. do you really want to go along and continue to wonder whether he has or hasnt got these feeling for you.
tell him you need to know the truth or you dont want him to come around when he is drunk because he says things that he shouldnt.
if you still wish to see and talk to him when he isnt drunk then maybe that is ok, but if he says things that he doesnt really mean when he is drunk then perhaps it is best for both of you that you dont see him when he has been drinking.
it does sounds though that maybe he waiting for you to tell him how you feel. he might deny saying the thing he does when he is drunk becuase he doesnt here back from you what he wants to hear.
have you told him (not when either of you are drunk) how you still feel about him?
well yes he knows how i feel, he's know for along time now well at least i think he has we where planging on getting back togeva just b4 this christmas but one thing and another happened and i decided it wasnt the right time because of other things going on at the time, i think you are right though i do need to talk to him and tell him how i feel and ask how he dose but i feel really diffcult bring it up
i understand. i am uncomfortable in bringing things like that up also. in fact ive never had to really do it as i was in a relationshipo for 7 years. i am sure it would be a little weird though. but hey, you really dont want to continue to wonder do you. there was a post by someone recently on another thread where they said when they feel the need to ask ther partner something in respect to their relationship they just go out and ask it, and usually they get the answer they were hoping for.
so why not ask him? you might hear what you want to hear. but you have to be prepared to hear what you dont want to hear as well.
im sure some other posters will have some more advice for you but this is just my opinion. good luck with it. let us know how you go.
i understand. i am uncomfortable in bringing things like that up also. in fact ive never had to really do it as i was in a relationshipo for 7 years. i am sure it would be a little weird though. but hey, you really dont want to continue to wonder do you. there was a post by someone recently on another thread where they said when they feel the need to ask ther partner something in respect to their relationship they just go out and ask it, and usually they get the answer they were hoping for.
so why not ask him? you might hear what you want to hear. but you have to be prepared to hear what you dont want to hear as well.
im sure some other posters will have some more advice for you but this is just my opinion. good luck with it. let us know how you go.
Dear, skell has said it well here. I tried to 'comment on this post', but got the message to spread my rating.
This was so well put that's it will be hard for anyone else to top.
Look at what you want from this guy, tell him and take it from there. At least you won't be wondering any longer and can then go on with future plans with or without him.
yer i agree with you skell i will ask him lol maybe i will need a few to drink b4 i do ha ha ha! no i will ask him but i think the shock of me asking him will get him all defence lol, hummm no your right i dont want to go on wondering. i will let you know how things go if i do pick up the courage to ask that is wish me luck i need it
yer you r rite chery i sure will tell you how things go lol i cant tell you one thing now i will be shaking like a leaf when i ask and my mind will go completely blank and none of the pre thought out ways of how to bring it up will be there lol
Just like everything else important in our lives, right? For instance, a job interview; a yearly checkup at the doctors; looking for a place to live; picking a car; asking for a raise in pay, among many things.
We all get nervous - and it's a defense mechanism, but it needs to be there - to prepare us for the worst. But then, after it's over, we feel a little light as one problem less to think about has just been mastered. So, you'll get a negative or a positive answer - but at least it's an answer that you can work with once you have it.
Stress is generated by things unsolved, and if you have too many unsolved things in your life, you'll not be able to concentrate on issues that take you one step further. And we all know, there is no sense in dwelling on the past if you plan on going anywhere.
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