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Dating a Nice Guy

Asked Jun 26, 2005, 12:26 AM — 24 Answers
I met a man recently who is a terrific in many ways. He's divorced, but he only has good things to say about his ex-wife (who cheated on him). He has a child he adores. He is loving toward his extended family. He has a good job.

I went out with him a few times. After our second date, he started telling me how wonderful I am -- I mean really gushing. I think that I'm a good person, but I don't think that after only a few hours together he is in a position to judge me or anyone else in such an extremely positive way. I felt very uncomfortable.

I want to be in a relationship with a really good guy, but by coming on too strong so soon when we were just getting to know each other, he pushed me away.

I'm thinking about seeing him again. But, how can I stay interested in him when after just four dates he's left me in no doubt about his strong feelings for me and I feel like I haven't had much of a chance to see if I can develop feelings for him? The difference in our feelings is making me want to stay away from him. But, my wanting to develop a relationship with a good guy is making me think that I should keep trying with him in spite of feeling uncomfortable.

Any advice?

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24 Answers
mklen's Avatar
mklen Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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#11

Jul 11, 2005, 06:25 PM
He can also try this web page: http://www.fastseduction.com. There is a message board on there which he can post his questions to as well: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/
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turtlegirl's Avatar
turtlegirl Posts: 152, Reputation: 1
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#12

Jul 11, 2005, 06:58 PM
What's wrong with just telling him he's coming on a little strong? I've done it. They either get embarrassed and stop calling, or take a shot at pulling back a little. If he's really interested, he'll modify his approach. I think honesty works in this one because you're not telling him he's deficient, it's an easily correctable behavior you want him to adjust.
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Wildcat21's Avatar
Wildcat21 Posts: 3,587, Reputation: 2258
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#13

Jul 11, 2005, 07:56 PM
"What's wrong with just telling him he's coming on a little strong? I've done it. "

Exactly. It helps - but it sounds like he needs some help in other areas.
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BattleAngel14745's Avatar
BattleAngel14745 Posts: 106, Reputation: 13
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#14

Jul 12, 2005, 06:14 AM
Message deleted
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Wildcat21's Avatar
Wildcat21 Posts: 3,587, Reputation: 2258
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#15

Jul 12, 2005, 08:13 AM
Battle - it's more too it than that.

This guy is too needy-clingy, ALWAYS trying to impress, no back bone, always agreeable, never tries to upset - etc.

Do nice things and compliments are great - when rationed.

This is a huge fine line here.

Being WAY to available and calling all day long is NOT nice.
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BattleAngel14745's Avatar
BattleAngel14745 Posts: 106, Reputation: 13
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#16

Jul 12, 2005, 08:38 AM
Message deleted
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Wildcat21's Avatar
Wildcat21 Posts: 3,587, Reputation: 2258
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#17

Jul 12, 2005, 08:47 AM
But that's what he did to creep her out. This guy has issues and no woman would want to deal with him that way - Ok?

Sorry to burst your bubble but I have HAD many relationships work - many - including one now. How the hell do you say that? You have no idea the length of my relationships. That's funny - never judge someone here - ever - or make up stuff you don't know about. I never told you about any relationships in the past. I have had GREAT realtionships with man ywonderful woman.

Do you want me to bring up your issues? No. This is ADVICE - not judging people or making up stuff you know nothing about.
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BattleAngel14745's Avatar
BattleAngel14745 Posts: 106, Reputation: 13
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#18

Jul 12, 2005, 09:30 AM
Message deleted
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Wildcat21's Avatar
Wildcat21 Posts: 3,587, Reputation: 2258
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#19

Jul 12, 2005, 03:28 PM
Jesus Freak.
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Wildcat21's Avatar
Wildcat21 Posts: 3,587, Reputation: 2258
Ultra Member
  
#20

Jul 13, 2005, 08:52 AM
No Packer - wrong - you have no clue what a 'nice guy' is - yuck.

It's NOT a kind person or a giver.

Stop giving bad advice.
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