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I have been dating a married man for almost 2 years.. I know it was not suppose to get that far but hey it happened.. We both share our daily lives with each other, talk about family and share the same hobbies.. Everything was good in the beginning or course the impressionable stage but things slacked now, we still go out on occasions, and he has visited me on the holidays.. he is a cool dude but he may be getting tired. He says he is not and want to continue but to me something is different.. In a way, I wish I could let my feelings fade and get over this
Please don't tell me you said that you are dating a married man!!?? I apologize, but you won't get any sympathy here.
Consider me his wife. I was married once and my then husband cheated on me with a woman like you. That woman ruined our marriage. Yes, he told her our marriage was on the rocks, while I thought it was perfect. The children we had together are now 20 and almost 19. They do not know how to trust or love in fear of being hurt.
And, NO, HEY, it doesn't just happen!!! You let it happen when you knew he was married. You should have stopped it the moment you knew he was married, but you didn't.
He is married - MARRIED - and is staying that way. That is pretty obvious. You say, "he is a cool dude but he may be getting tired. He says he is not and want to continue but to me something is different." What is different is that he might be getting tired of the ping pong game he has been playing between you and his wife. Does he have children with this woman? Maybe the candle, whose both ends he has been burning, have finally met in the middle and he is getting a bit singed.
You also say, " in a way, I wish I could let my feelings fade and get over this" What is holding you back from letting those feelings go? For two years you have put your life in the stall position for this man. Two years you could have spent devoting to excploring life outside of dating a married man. So what is holding you back from getting involved in other activities that do not revolve around this man? When your mind and thoughts are occupied by other interests, it would not be as difficult (as you may think) to let whatever feelings you have for this schmuck fade away. Just think of this - he cheats on his wife with you.... With no obvious remorse. What does tell you about his character? He would cheat on you too, and perhaps he even does. My ex not only had one gf while we were married, he had two going at the same time! I have little sympathy for women who knowlingly get involved with a married man and I have absolutely no sympathy for that man. I have great sympathy for that man's children - as they are always hurt the most in sleazy relationships like this.
I would tell you to walk away from this man - run if you can and count your blessings that his wife has not taken you to court. When he calls, please be busy. Find another avenue for your energies and get over this man.
A cool dude does not cheat on his wife. I think it is time for you to end it, or tell the wife. Honestly it should not continue and if you continue it, it will not be a good situation. Do you remember the story about Joey Buttofuco. What did his girlfriend on the side do? Maybe it could be reversed. Never know what may happen if this continues. At least your strong enough to admit to this and actually own up to it. Now can you actually end it.
How does this make you feel to be talked down to, can you even think that you are being the tramp in the situation. How would you like it if once you find a man to marry yourself and he goes and cheats on you for two years. Grow up and get some morals because that is not how a proper mature woman acts
no I wasn't trying to say it directly more or less as a metephor. If I was in that situation and my husband cheated on me I would have had more words to say then that. But women need to learn to have the decency of leaving married men alone and look for their own.
Elove you need to see straight that this guy just wants to eat the hole cake and get the most from both sides (you & his wife ) ! You really need to know that this is wrong and needs to STOP....Look at the bigger picture this guy has been seeing you for 2yrs, but at the end of the day still runs back to his wife every night and i'm guessing he always will.
You say that you know that your feelings need to fade and and go away, so i'm guessing that in your own mind you can see clear that this is wrong. It will be hard but you really need to walk away and leave this guy with his wife and find yourself a nice guy that is just for you and not married our seeing someone else...Just think anything his wife has or he has regards sti's (std's) could be passing to you ! How do you know if he roles over with you that he is not rolling around with others ??
As for the cool dude, a cool dude knows how to LOVE & RESPECT his WOMAN GF or WIFE not go sleeping around cheating --
to me this does not = cool this = PLAYER & U = Being PLAYED
Have respect for yourself and put your life in order and move on !
Elove, all judging aside, what are you getting from this relationship? I can't really say, but what I can say is that you have lost two years of your life. Two years of missing out on meeting the someone who can make you happy, broaden your horizons, make you proud of your relationship, build a future, become more you. I sure that you have lost you in all of this, so in wishing your feelings for this man will fade, trying wishing for the strength and the courage to find yourself. Good Luck
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