I have been talking to this married man for a little over a year now, and slowly things have gotten farther. He is 31 and i am 19. He has been married for 5 years, and I have been in a relationship for 4 years. We havent done anything besides hug, flirt, and talk about things we want to do until the other day.

The other night he text me saying he tried calling me like ten times because he was out playing poker. We text eachother for a good hour then decided we wanted to see eachother. he had to bee home @ 2:00 a.m and it was already that time so we hurried and met.

I got into his car and we were both pretty drunk but we started making out, then he started taking off my clothes so I started taking off his, and we just messed around and did somethings but we didn't have sex. We fooled around for a good 45 mins to an hour because it was almost 3:00a.m. And we didnt want to leave eachother at all. I was like ok I have to go then he would pull me back and start kissing me again. He told me that he absolutely HAD to see me the next day and to call him at 8:00p.m.

Ok so the next day I went out to the bar with friends and I tried calling him around like 8:30 but his phone was off so i left him a text saying "I tried calling so give me a call when you get a chance." It was like 12:30 a.m and I still didnt hear from him so i tried calling and it rang but no one answered. And I was getting irritated so i text him 'thanks a lot this is ridiculous' well then i felt bad and then text 'im sorry'.

About a half an hour later i get a call from him and he said "hey", and i said hiiiii, and then he hung up. Like 2 seconds after that i got another call and it was his wife. and she said "Who Is this!". and I hung up because I didnt know what to say. So she kept calling back and my friend answered the phone and made some random crap up saying she was looking for some random person, then his wife hung up. Ok so the about 5 mins later I get a text from him that said Hey, I'm sorry. I almost fell for it then i knew it had to be his wife messing with me and then i said "Who is this" "I'm trying to get ahold of adam" Which i just made up a random name. And the way the person was talking to me had to of been his wife because nothing she text me made any sense. So I just made up some random story about some random person and said the sorry I must have the wrong number.

I changed my voicemail to where it just says the number so she wouldn't get my name, And then i kept getting restricted calls throughout the day and i would just pick up then hang up cause i knoew it was her. I feel bad but i also saved both of our asses! It just sucks because i need to see him again and i know this is gonna be so hard and stressful. Do i just wait for him when he has time to call me or text me or what? It's just so irritating knowing i cant have the better half. I know you're gonna say I should just walk away, but i like him soo much and i know it's going to be hard dealing with this situation but its harder to walk away.

squeaks77

He already cheated on his wife (and if you think it's not cheating just because you didn't have sex, ask his WIFE) he will cheat on you. Do you really want to be "that woman", the home wrecker??

George_1950

You didn't mention how you met, or whether your bf is a dad. My guess is that your bf is having marital problems that have not been addressed in a successful way. In other words, I am not giving his wife a pass; but you are too close to the fire. You can hold your ground by telling him that while you admire and love him and want to know him better, that he is not available. Going forward, drink and act responsibly. Are you ready to be the mother of a child without a fulltime dad?

little firefly

Well, if this man is no longer in love with his wife or whatever, then he needs to deal with that and not drag someone else into the mess.....The way i look at it, he sees you as nothing more than a little plaything. He makes you feel good about yourself and tells you what you want to hear so that he can get what he wants from you (i've seen it happen before). He has no respect for his wife or for you. Make sure you have respect for yourself and walk away from this guy. If he wants to make a mess of someone elses life then make sure it isn't yours! You are so young and you deserve so much more. I'm sure there are a lot of wonderful, available men who would love to be with you. Good luck to you.

Homegirl 50

Older guys know just what to say to make young girls feel good about themselves and get in their pants. He is too old to be messing with you and he's married. The line he is feeding you is as old as dirt. Do yourself a favor and leave him alone.
You are setting an awful bleak pattern for your life. Being a booty call to married men is a no win situation.

jkh

i have been in a very similiar situation and i know how you feel. but the advice you are getting here is right, walk away before you get in too deep. the man i was with lied about getting a divorce, being seperated, not being attracted to his wife, not having sex with her, it was all a lie. i eventually talked to his wife and i was not the first 'other woman'.

you sound like a good person, and it is so easy to get caught up in a relationship when the other person seems so right, says the right things, and makes you happy. but it's not a real happy, you become just a part time thing in his life. you deserve better!

sully123

Don't waste your time, he is cheating on his wife with you. If you were with him someday he would do the same thing to you, cheat on you. Once a cheater always a cheater. Find someone you can be proud of and not hide. Sorry and good luck.

chuff

I'm just going to say...look at all you had to do in that OP to cover your tracks. How can you objectively say that is a good situation?

Lynn18

We met at work... he's my boss, and yes he has two kids... I know two big no no's... but I can't help my feelings, and he's not helping at all telling me all these things, meeting up with me, talking to me, hugging me, kissing me, and so on. Even though it's so obvious in what to do im so confused and stressed.

Lynn18

Oh yea and I talked to him the other day for a quick second at work... because he never called me back after what happened when his wife called me.

And I said "So you can't call me back? That's a kind of shi**y thing to do".

and he said "Ya I know I should've called you but my wife and I have been fighting really bad afer what happened the other night, and she has been on my a** all day and every single day."

he also said "She is a stupid b**ch and I'm sorry".

There was more said but i dont remember because I was in a hurry to leave.

I said "Well I have to leave soo"

and he said "Well I will see you tomorrow when you come into work".

and I said "oooook see ya".

So ya I get to see him tomorrow in the morning when I go into work.. I don't know what to say to him!!????? and I surely dont want to talk about it at work!

talaniman

I realize that, because none of us can help how we feel. But we sure as heck have total control over what we do about those feelings, so no more excuses. What a crock, your letting him do what ever he pleases with you. Small wonder your being used, because your easy. No your not, you like the attention, and its easier than trying to love the healthy right way, again excuses. Yes I'm harsh about this because its time you start loving yourself enough to demand dignity and respect for yourself instead of being silly putty for a second rate player.