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OK, fine, so technically he has been "separated"- whatever that means- from his wife. I have been dating him for a little over a month now, and he recently informed me that he is a father and has two children.....get this: the only reason why she wanted a second child by him is because she did not want the other child to be "lonely" and she did not want to have TWO fathers. And this guy tells me that he had "too much pride" which is why he gave her another child....I AM TRULY HEARTBROKEN. I really enjoy so much about him, but I am 22, he is 30 and he has 2 children to tend to. Should I deal with him? I am so hesitant. My mother would kill me if she knew he had children, and while I was looking forward to being with him in the long term, this is on my mind, and I believe that I will always be sour towards the fact. Do I sacrifice my expectations to be with someone? Is it too early to tell? Am I to young to be dealing with this? PLEASE HELP ME!
If you really loved him ( since he is seperated) nothing would make a difference, since you are still concerned what others may think, you are reallly not ready for a long term seroius relationship yet, or have not meet that person who would make nothing else matter.
I do agree with the answers above. I do want to emphasize the importance of backing off right now.
You mean that you have been dating him for over a month and he has just recently told you he is a father and has two children? What else has he not told you? If he was going to be involved with anyone else if I were him, I would have laid the "cards out on the table" at the beginning. He may already be exhibiting some issues with being honest.
Please just back off and let him and her finish out the situation between them for now. They aren't divorced yet.
1) What is it exactly that you will "always be sour" about?
2) I do not see this relationship with you as being too serious (from his standpoint) at this point....He has a world of other things going on. You are young and he is in transition.
When I mean "sour" I mean that the fact that this man has children will always be in the back of my mind... Won't I always be "#2"....is this what I really have to prepare myself for? I don't have any problems with kids. As a matter of fact, I love kids and I want them someday when I am married, however, it is quite disturbing to meet someone who has already "been there, done that"- and then expects you to pick up and find yourself in the midst of all of it. The relationship is serious. I know for a fact that he does not speak to this woman...he does see his kids and he pays child support- thats it. I do have a trust issue with him because he chose to tell me after we were seeing each other and after he "fell" for me. "I can't help who I fall in love with"....the typical married man answer....my reply was you can't help it, but you can control your feelings and emotions. I know I am too young for this and even though I told him I am determined and would be there, I don't even know anymore.
I told him I would also wait until he was legally divorced, but then it's as though that is a guarantee to him that things will work out in the end between him and I.
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