I have been dating a guy off and on for over 3 months but don't get to see him often as he has a son and between that, his job and his church, i am a distant 4th place. He had to break plans with me tonight and I asked him why (via e-mail) and if he was dating anyone else, we'll because I jumped the gun, he freaked out, saying "this is why I don't date". I thought that he was lying, cheating or didn't want to be with me, when that wasn't the truth.

I have apologized but haven't heard from him and don't know if we have any future or not after this.

Please pray for me and pray for my paticents and how I can get though this.

I am 31 years old, never married and really like this guy!

What do I do?

CaptainForest

Let's see.

His son is more important than you..that makes sense.

His Church is more important than you...thats a so-so, but ok.

His JOB is more important than you...

I'm sure this guy has lots going on, but if doesnt have time for you, then move on. You have only been dating this guy for 3 months...just go and find yourself a guy who doesn't have a million other things to do.

Oh yeah, the fact that he went nuts on you isnt a good sign either.

confuzed

It does not seem as if he is willing to make time for a relationship in his life right now. Did he ever tell you why he had to break his plans with you are did he just get mad and leave it at that? If he just got mad that may be a sign that he does have something else going on. If he did tell you and it was reasonable then you need to decide if this relationship is one that you want to be in if you know you are not going to get the time or importance level you desire with him right now.

fredg

Hi, Single,
Three months isn't a very long time, as I am sure you know. I am 64 yrs old, married now for 29 yrs to a very wonderful lady. My first marriage ended in divorce after 7 yrs.
The answer before mine is very good, and brought up a good point; why did he become upset with you asking a simple question? Most men would not have minded that question at all.
I'm sure he is a very nice person, but his life is, apparently, already filled up. He could be just using your question as a "way out" of any relationship right now.
You are young, and I'm guessing a wonderful person. Meeting new men willl not be very hard for you at all! I do wish you the best of everything.

happybisaya

Dear singlecubfan,
From experience, men do not want to be smothered. Men likes to be the one to do the chasing not the chasee. Even though it is hard to do, play hard to get, keep yourself busy by doing what you have been doing before you met him. Of course you are a distant 4th, he is being responsible by putting his child first before everything else. He has a child to support and his job is very important to him. Once a person takes care of his spiritual needs, everything will fall right in its place, and he is doing just that by going to church. He had one bad experience with a woman already, so maybe he is just taking his time and do not want to be rushed and smothered. If you really like this guy, just be patient and be there for him. I am pretty sure that, that is what he needs right now. Raising a child alone is no easy task, especially finding a mate that would love his child as well. One more thing, do not show your insecurities to men, they do not like that. Men loves women who are in control, who can hold down the fort while they are off to work. Hope this helps.

Wildcat21

I agree - 3 months is not a long time.

Little advice - you CAN NOT worry if the person is seeing someone else - ever. AND if you bring it up - IT ALWAYS SETS THE RELATIONSHIP WAY BACK!!! If you are not comfortable with this then he isn't the right guy. You also come across as needy and insecure.

I would defintely pull back and not contact him. There are several red flags here.

He may not be that into you - a guy or gal that is into WILL cross oceans, quit jobs, climbs walls to be with you.

nwsflash

You have been given some good advice by all the other posts on this thread....Ok so you guys have only being seeing one another a very short time, well this is the normal stage where people are love sick and want to be together non stop pretty much, so its not a good sign that he keeps putting you off and making plans....

Question you need to ask yourself, why did he split from his wife ??? Does it have anything to do with him never being around, or having a temper and blowing up easy ???

I think what you need to do is make a set time for you both to get together and talk things over about what you both want, and where you are both heading too !! If he breaks this meeting with you then i'd just find someone new thats willing to spend time with you....His child will always come first so your going to have to deal with that, if thats an issue for you then you are not matched.

Also if he blow you out tonight via email, hell that just sux and that is a very, very bad sign that this dude is not being 100% upfront with you.

I will keep you in my prayers that you get some kind of answer to what going on....

Wildcat21

Communication is key. BUT, over communication = smothering.

I think she should wait at least 2 weeks to talk. Give him space. Sho that she is independent of him.

People WANT what they can't have!!! - if you make yourself TOO available to someone - they take you for granted - always.