Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year. I am very heart broken right now because we were engaged but I made a decision to give the ring back. His mother and I has a miscommunication over where a date a time for a party for myself was. After that she ripped into me about the miscommunication and bascially blamed it all on me. This has put a strain on our relationship as a couple. The all of a sudden he calls to ask her a question and she tells him to think long and hard about if he wants to be with me or not. She sayds he could find somebody better, that I am taking him for a ride, and that I pressured him into a ring and a dog. However, they were both his ideas obviously. Before this she would tell me she loved me and thought the world of me. I just do not understnad and want things back to normal. However, he is supporting me, but if he really did not listen to what his mother said then why would he accept the ring back? I am super confused. Please let me know what you think...

Krs

One thing i can say from some experience. Never allow any in law to get in d way of your relationship.
Im sure you're both not kids and can decided the best for both of you together.
Ask him why he accepted the ring back.. he's d one to ask.
And also why did u give him the ring back?? He is probably askin himself that question!!

kp2171

im a little confused...was the party incident the first problem and all of this is coming after or was there strain before, the ring was given back, and then this party thing and the phone calls happened?

was giving the ring back a result of her being upset from the miscommunucation and her anger after.... or did you give the ring back before she got upset?

Chery

You should take this issue up with him. Any insecurities on your part of why he accepted the ring - you'd know best - depending on how you've been communicating lately.

This could have put a strain on both of you - setting dates, planning the future, and then his mother. If she has always been in the planning of everything and she's got a strong personality - you both are putting him under pressure and he might be in conflict on who to please.

When a couple plans on marriage, it's a long process of getting to know each other during all emotional stages and learning how to best handle it. Ignoring a situation is not going to help - not at all.

So, please post your questions to him, and together find an amiable solution, or you'll have to reassess why you accepted the ring in the first place and what you want out of this relationship.

The key here is communication - with him.

Good luck dear, and please keep us posted.

If you cannot trust your feelings toward each other now, you'll always have doubts - that's not a good basis for marriage. Remember why you fell in love in the first place, and build on that.

hlm0925

Thanks for replying back. I told him yesterday that I made a big mistkae by giving him the ring, and I probably hurt his feelings. I told him I wanted the ring back eventually when he is ready because I want to be his wife reguardless of what others think. I let her affect my relationship with him. However, yesterday I went to pick up my new car, because I got a new job...and when i got in it he gave me my ring back and told me that he already proposed to me and he wanted me to wear the ring. I really love him, but I want a good relationship with his mom too. However, she wants nothing to do with me. I guess I have to keep on going. Do you think he gave the ring back because he loves me or because he felt like it was what I wanted. I dont know.

Krs

Oh he loves you, otherwise it was a good opportunity for him to say " NO ", but he didnt so dont worry.

And try not to get wound up and upset about his mother.
You are engaged to him not the mother
and
you are going to be married to him and not to her..

Can i ask he is an only child?

Krs

RICKJ
this is another thread that is not appearing under my profile, while it should be as i replied to it.

hlm0925

Yes he is an only child. But he doesn't like to spend too much time with her because he has also gotten into it with her in the past. He always has tried to not do things in the town she lives in. If they are not close at all then why is she saying all this stuff.

talaniman

Get over the insecurities and relate to your future husband. Mom in law can come later if at all.

Krs

I asked you whether he is an only child as i gathered so from how you described her to be.
She is jealous. Mothers of an only son get jealous when they know their only son loves another woman.
For plenty of reasons, attention, love, care etc.

All i can say is, be nice to her as much as you can, but never ever let her interefer with your life together coz she will try as she has done in the past.

I know this, ive seen it happen with my parents and myself. If my parents werent so strong together as a couple and put themselves first they would have probably end up seperating due to some of her actions.

Just be on top of yourself and dont let her get in the way.
Your life as a couple is between YOU and YOUR MAN ALONE