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Confusion with my ex girlfriend

Asked Nov 21, 2011, 02:04 PM — 3 Answers
Me and my girlfriend dated for about a year and everything was great. We almost never fought or had any serious problems. A few weeks ago, while visiting her family, she stops responding to my txt messages, but I was not concerned because I figured she just wanted time with her family. The next time I go and see her in person she breaks up with me, she tells me that she "still loves me" and that she is "really busy and just can't deal with a boyfriend right now." This came out of nowhere as 2 weeks before the breakup, we were planning a vacation and talking about getting a place together.

I don't talk to her at all for the next week, but then I go and visit her because she told me to pick up some of my things. While I'm at her house we just talk like everything was normal. She tells me "she hasn't wrapped her head around the breakup yet" and after I tell her I miss her she says that she misses me too but things weren't the same at the end of the relationship. As I go to leave her house she tells me to wait so she can walk me out. She gives me a really long hug and kisses me on the cheek and promises to txt me soon.

We begin talking again over the next week I ask her if she'd like to go to the midnight premiere of the Twilight movie with me and she says that she'd "love too." We hang out for a few hours and after the movie I ask her what it means for us. She asks me what I want it to mean and I tell her that she knows what I want (to get back together). She bursts into tears and stops talking to me. After being silent for a long time and not responding to what I say she tells me that she is "so busy and she doesn't have time for any boyfriend right now" and that it has nothing to do with me she also says she needs space. She gives me another long hug and holds my hands and tells me that she doesn't think that I should txt or call her anymore and that when she's ready she'll txt me. I ask her if she thinks we can get back together and she says she "doesn't know" she tells me that "everything is going to be okay" and walks away. I say that I love her and she cries again and goes inside.

Over the weekend I talked to one of her best friends and he tells me that she still loves me and is just confused and doesn't know what she wants. I have no idea is happening or what to expect from now on.

3 Answers
talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,685, Reputation: 50646
Senior Family & People Expert
 
#2

Nov 21, 2011, 03:44 PM


You are in shock and need time to get thru it. Then you will know that the proper thing to do is accept the break up with dignity and self respect, and class.

If she is indeed confused, then she needs time and space to be unconfused, without your influence.

Or you can wine, dine, beg, and plead, and drag this out until you hate each other.

Leave her alone, and do your own thing without her. Break ups suck, but are hardly the end of the world.
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TrueFaith's Avatar
TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 1656
Ultra Member
 
#3

Nov 22, 2011, 03:45 AM
Remember my friend it may have come out of no where for you

But she was planning this for a while

Us humans. Are creatures of habit
We don't just wake up one morning and change that without thinking before about it before

Now as for you this will be a hard few weeks for you
Lean on family and friends
It's ok to feel sad

Then get out there and be active join a gym

Some of the best times in my life is when a girl has left me it's amazing what you can turn pain into

Good luck!

Also another thing she is so busy to have a boyfriend yet she can go and see twilight!

Awful movie by the way worst teeny droopy mushy blehhh! Anyway I'm off topic


She is trying to save your feelings and make her feel less guilty

Take it as a break up and move on go no contact and start to heal!
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beachbunny88's Avatar
beachbunny88 Posts: 2, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
 
#4

Dec 4, 2011, 04:58 PM
I know you don't want to hear this but she might be seeing someone else. I regretfully did this type of thing to guys in highschool. I would start to like someone else but they would be wary because they would know I was dating someone, so instead of breaking up with my boyfriend and risk being alone, I would wait until I was more confident in the other guy I was having feelings for before completely breaking it off. I would do the same exact thing, lead on my boyfriend to make it look like there there was a chance to keep that option open just in case but also would ignore him enough to not threaten the new guy I was seeing. I know it's a really terrible thing to do, please don't judge me or be mean, but this is honestly how some girls think, as stupid as it is.
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