HELP!
One day while bandaging a co workers cut finger I said I wondered if I was like a mom or sister to him. He replied "Neither, because I would have sex with you". I had no idea that he thought that. After that we started flirting a bit, and on his birthday I told him I would give him a kiss. I thought it would just be a somewhat benign peck on the lips, but he used his tongue. (I didn't.) Then he became cool and distant.
So I decided to keep things more professional. However, one day he whispered to me that he had a very, very erotic dream about me the night before. I did not ask any details. Over the next few weeks he mentioned this dream a few more times, but I would not bite. Obviously he wanted to share the details with me, though.
Eventually one day I came into the office feeling rather crazy, and I started flirting with him. He responded in kind and we were verbally flirting very outrageously. He grabbed my wrist, and put my hand in his crotch and he was hard. He then pulled me into a corner and we kissed each other. Over the next few days we flirted quite a bit. Then without any warning he got cool and distant with me again.
Since then it has been hot and cold. He will flirt with me verbally and physically, then become very standoffish.
I just do not understand this whole situation. We are both in long term relationships already, so it is not like we are going to start dating.
Thanks for any input!
EM

valinors_sorrow

Living dangerous requires periodic and spontaneous-seeming panic moments when sanity attempts to reinstate itself?

Are you certain he understands that? I mean really really certain?

fredg

Hi, EM,
You are both in long term relationships?
He obviously doesn't know it!
If you continue flirting with this person, be ready for more serious actions.
He wants you, tries a little, then stops.....teasing isn't what work is all about.
I suggest you ignore this person, don't talk with him at all, just say "hi", if anything, and go on about your job. If you continue, it will only get worse.
I do wish you the best of luck.

Krs

First of all if you are in long term relationship, why the hell would you ask him such a question in the first place?
I mean why would u have been even curious to know if u were like a mum or a sister to him?
Just be careful esp if u dont want to start dating, coz the first inital move has been done....

J_9

EM,

I have to agree with Krs' answer on this. If you were not initially interested, why ask that particular question? Sounds as though you were interested too

If you are in a long term serious relationship I would stop this foolishness now before it gets back to your man. This office "flirting" can end your relationship with your man. IMHO kissing another man is a form of cheating. I would never do this to my husband in any way shape or form.

Wildcat21

I never advise work place romance - 90% it turns bad or uncomfortable.

Leave this guy alone and work on your current relationship.

This is cheating.

Its lust...its forbidden...you'll hate this guy in a month.

Fr_Chuck

It is very easy, you want an affair or you would merely say NO, things just don't happen, we let them happen.

A office romance will normally cost one or both a job, or cause a nice place to work into a bad place to go back into each day.

talaniman

Neither one of you respects the others long term relationship and neither one of you is coming across as the innocent party either! So let cut to the chase. You only are confused because he makes a move, you LIKE it and then he backs off. He's getting you hot and bothered so he can get over when he wants, and you are falling Willingly into the trap cause thats what you want. SO since niether of you has the decency to respect your boundries you two cheaters deserve each other and I hope your partners have the sense to dump you both so you can get together and cheat on each other, and leave good decent people out of your selfish games!

s_cianci

First of all, I'd cool it when it comes to putting hands in crotches and kissing and stuff like that at the workplace. You could both get yourselves in a lot of trouble. It sounds like he wants to have sex with you but not much else. You say you are both in long term relationships as it is. I wouldn't think much of his advances as that's all they are. Don't do anything to jeopardize your relationship or your job.

Jayjay027

I agree with Talaniman, 100% (tried to comment but I got the spread message)

You two deserve eachother.

You obviously dont have much respect for your partner - nor does he.
If you dont want to be with your boyfriend, if you want to be with other people, have the decency to tell him, instead of cheating on him !!