okay i met this girl and we went out for about 7 months . she was my first and i was her first. i fell deeply in love. i knew it was love cuz i would have done anything for her. she made me quit smoking and did a lottta good things for me .. my grades went up and everything. she made me a better person. but her mom didnt allow her to date. and she never knew about me .. her mom would have been hurt if she was caught going out with me . and her family and education meant everything to her. she told me from begining that education comes be4 me. i think i crowded her a little bit. i would get mad at her if we didnt get to talk for one day . and i would feel bad if we missed one day and i wudnt b able to focus on ne thing else. i always called kept in touch wit her. sometimes she was busy but i refused to understand her situation and kept wanting to be with her all the time. she said she really loved me . she made promises that she would never leave me no matter what. once she tried to break up cuzza her mom . she felt guilty she felt she was doing sumthing behind her moms back . and i never felt any physical attraction towards her. i never wanted to take advantage of her. thats pretty unusual for a 17 year old guy wudnt u say so? she kept feeling guilty about her mom so one day i wanted to break up with her. but she started crying and she said she doesnt care if she gets caught she wud risk her life for me she said. but few months later she told me that she cudnt do this to her mom.. and i loved her so much and i wanted to support her in everything .. even if it hurt me. so i told her not to worry bout ne thing and i let her go. she said she wants to b friends with me now. the thing now is
she is the one that asked me out through her friend but now she says she always wanted to be friends. now i wonder whether she truly loved me or not. my life feels incomplete without her. wat shud i do? i cant do ne thing right. i m doing bad in school and messing up. i dun wanna do this to myself. someone tell me what to do now. i dun want her back ne more. cuz it wudnt b the same. one min i hate her for leaving me .. next minute i love her again. my insides are ripping up. one min i feel like love is bull s hit ... next min i love her again . we talk oonce in a while. sometimes i wanna disappear. i feel like she moved on so quickly while i didnt . but i wudnt know that she might b hiding her feelings. i dunno wat to do .. someone help me ..shud i just disappear and stop contacting her? i also wanna b good friends wit her and help her in life. do u think she wants me to do that?

Wildcat21

I feel your pain brother. I feel your pain. Been there. This is going to be tough love here pal:

Yes - do NOT contact her for a while. You need to create space. If you feel the urge to contact her - call a friend or relative instead and tell them what has happened. Woman LOVE, in the beginning, unavailable men - need a life.

I assume you called her 3 times a day? E-mailed all the time? Woman hate this - you have to be unavailable a lot - be with your friends - start a new sport.

Being too agreeable is also a bad trait.

Also - in future realtionships - don't tell them how you feel. Woman like men of confidence. Confidence. Don't go telling a woman you love until a far in advance like 6 months or a year. A woman decides woman this should be exchanged - not you. She will love for it. Remember - this is your lover - your not her 'girl' friend.

You put too much presure on this girl. What you need to do is change - this problem is with you. You need to understand that she is NEVER your life. She is your friend and a part of your life - but never your life.

HIT THE FREAKING BOOKS NOW! She will will NEVER be attracted to a slacker - especially if she holds education so high. Start working out. Learn the rules of dating. Get a job - be busy.

I assume you became a wussy boy: too needy/clingy,

Best thing to do is take some time for yourself, grieve,

There is a time tested quote: "If you love something, set it free - if it comes back it's yours - if doesn't, it never was"

Sounds liek you tried to make this gal your life - and woman hate this. She needed to chase you. You did not create a challenge and she gave up. You were too available.

Woman 'feel' - it's not logical to guys - we know if we like someone or not. You initially created a high interest level - then you became a wimp and gave into her completely and told her how you 'feel' and probably were like a sick puppy. No woman wants this clingy guy.

You probably became obssesed with her - this is NOT love - it's infatuation/smitten. It will go away. Love takes time and endless conversations.

Unfortuantely this are thing you need to learn to be in a happy relationship - thank god you are young.

And stop being such a 'nice guy'. Nice guys are fine - but you need a life.

Here are some websites that WILL help you:

www.sosuave.com

www.askmen.com

burning

yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
bro u make so much sense hahahaha its funny ... u made me realize a lotta stuff... ur right ... hahahaha its makes so much sense now that its funny ... thanx a lot man ...

Wildcat21

You are a young guy and there will be plenty of other woman. I've been there - done that. I've made all the mistakes. I just would like you to learn a couple things.

Remember - this is a learning process - the sooner you get this part of your life down, the happier you will be. You need to learn how to deal with woman and create an attraction - you did not do this. Woman don't want a love sick puppy, they want a man with a life and other interests.

Woman, in many ways, are very different from us guys. They may PREFER a certain type of guy - tall, hung well, athletic, dark - BUT, it what they feel and it's called attraction. Woman have the guy feeling initially about guys and doesn't matter what the hell you look like. Attraction is what they FEEL - I've seen short bald guys with models because it's the way he made her feel.

Guys know what they want. Woman have to 'feel' - I've had woman friends flat out reject studs because he didn't make her 'feel' anything - no attraction.

Learn to make girls laugh - no cheesy pick up lines. Learn to LISTEN and ask questions - most girls DON'T want to hear about you. Most people like to talk about themselves.

Woman are GREAT! They just are NEVER your entire life. Make school, work, working out, friends, hobbies your life - she will love you for it.

DON'T turn into a jerk. Nice guys are great - just don't be needy - don't seek her approval - be aloof. SAY NO to woman - don't give in just because you want to make her happy. Be strong and confident.

Just because you think she might like something doesn't mean you have to do it. Have a an opinion and tell her - she will love you for it. DON'T agree with her always and Don't do everything for her.

Next girl - don't call so much - twice a week max - make her call you. No text messages. No e-mail.

burning

hi ... u really helped me realize a lot wildcat bro ... but i have some questions ...
i want her to come back to me so i cud do things right again ... but the prob is she left me for her parents ..a. nd she said she doesnt want ne one in her life right now? wat shud i do ? she wants to b friends ... she says i m like her best friend n stuff. ... . so the thing now is .. . is there ne thing i can do to get her back? cuz i reallyreally really want her back ... nothing feels good nowadays ... i cant do ne thing .. i cant set my mind on ne thing ... i think the only way to fix this is if she comes back to me ... so do u think i shud get her back ? if yes then how ?
or shud i move on? what are somethings i can do to make me not feel the way i feel now ... i wanna b happy again ... help

Wildcat21

Here is the deal dude. This is going to take a lot of time. AND Patience. Stop calling her!!!

FIRST you have to do things in your life. Start studying now! Start some sports - start lifting weights and running now!! if your not doing these. Get a hobby. Find stuff to take her off your mind.

You need to stop talking with her as much. Tell her you are busy. Don't return her calls right a way - like a day or two later. MAKE HER MISS YOU - you hear me???? PEOPLE WANT WHAT THEY CAN'T HAVE!!! She doesn't want you because you gave completely into her - even successful marriages have soem doubt as to weather they spouse will stay. That's no fun!!! Woman want a challenge - they want to chase!!!!!

I still think you must be doing things like telling her how you feel. Stop that! At your age it's un-necessary.

SHE WONT come back if you keep calling her and begging and writting. Quit that/ It's time to grow up.

You wont feel happy until you start doing other things in your life. AGAIN - you friend/GF/Lover is NOT your life. She probably thinks that's how you feel - AND that's down right creepy!!! Get it??? She isn't your life.

Don't call her for a week and call her and tell her all these great things you are doing. Stop communicating. She should call you - OK?

Relationships are NOT clingy/needy - stop that!!!! You have a life - this gal isn't that important.

I BET her parents are NOT the reason she wont see you. Hear me??? It's your clingy/needy? This stuff creeps girls out.

Truthfully - you have probably damaged this one beyound repair. Maybe move on.

How many times did you call, e-mail, text a day???? I bet a lot???

Sounds like school is important to her - It DAM will better be important to you.

Wildcat21

I get the feeling you read my stuff, but are not doing it.

burning

lol ... i m doin wat ur sayin ... except one or two things ... and i do work out n stuff already ... i m doin good in school too ... i feel good again ... her .. who wants her ... if shes gonna b so hard then its not worth it ... i cud do way betta than her ... i m sayin all this now but i gurantee i ll change my mind few mins later... :S ... but i m workin at it ... i m not gonna b sad n ova her ne more ... time to move on ... i ll find a girl who ll love me for who i m ... but now i m not gonna get into ne thing serious ne more ... just gonna enjoy life ... u were right about all the things u said ... and i m definitely gonna do everything u said ... thanx a lot u shud b mr. "lovedoctor" ... u do this for a living? if not then u shud ... thanx a lot bro .. u rock

Wildcat21

If you stay with her or move on - use these principles the rest of your life!!! You have to!!!!

Woman want a man!!! Not a clingy Wuss.

You think doing and saying all the 'nice' things will turn her on...yet they turn her off!!! Woman are different creatures.

You have to prove you have a life.

Ok?

I do not do it for a living - BUT it is a living. I am about 1000% happier knowing this stuff. It's the ONLY way to understand woman and get alone with them. Seriously.

Woman are different creates - no logic. They 'feel'.

Wildcat21

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