Confused with my girlfriend giving me hard time for space and time situation..

Torrid13 · May 27, 2010, 03:19 PM

First of all, you made a rash decision without knowing the facts. When you accused her of cheating & broke up with her, you shattered her confidence in you! I'm pretty sure I would be VERY hesitant to get back with you.

Furthermore, I doubt she is "in love" with this new guy. You two dated for a really long time, & with this new guy, she's probably feeling overwhelmed. Does she still have feelings for you? I'm sure she does. But honestly, would YOU want to go back with someone that doesn't trust you? I know that if I dated someone that long, I would be very hurt & probably bitter.

Respect her wishes for time & space. If she wants to talk to you & try again, she'll let you know. Don't force it; you'll just push her further away.

In the meantime, keep busy & try not to dwell so much on this. You made a hasty decision when you didn't know the facts. You're going to have to deal with the consequences of that. What's done is done.

Just next time, get the facts first. Talk to the girl. Make decisions when you're NOT swimming in anger, paranoia or sadness.

It will work out the way it's meant to be.

talaniman · May 27, 2010, 03:46 PM

Stop waiting and start doing your own thing. Nobody waits for months on end for someone to comeback.

Quote:

she stop calling or texting me for 2 weeks and I jump into conclusion that she have been cheating in that span of time so I broke up with her

I would have dumped her too.

Quote:

but then I realize I don't want to lose her so I try winning her back but she ask for space and time and during the time of our break up

That and what you previously wrote, are ground to disappear, not win her back especially after you learned this,

Quote:

during the time of our break up she admitted to me that someone is courting her for 2 weeks and I don't know if she already fall in love with that guy or she still loves me?,

That confirms your suspicion, and that time and space thing is a crock to keep you on hold while she sees if this guy is as good as she thinks he is.

Thats why you cut the contact off, and disappear from her cheating life. How dare she! You should never, ever even consider taking her back, under any circumstances. At least you can keep your dignity, and self respect.

Torrid13 · May 27, 2010, 03:54 PM

I'm confused. Were they courting during that 2 weeks AFTER they broke up, or during that 2 weeks she wasn't talking to him?

glenn_T · May 28, 2010, 06:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Torrid13

First of all, you made a rash decision without knowing the facts. When you accused her of cheating & broke up with her, you shattered her confidence in you! I'm pretty sure I would be VERY hesitant to get back with you.

Furthermore, I doubt she is "in love" with this new guy. You two dated for a really long time, & with this new guy, she's probably feeling overwhelmed. Does she still have feelings for you? I'm sure she does. But honestly, would YOU want to go back with someone that doesn't trust you? I know that if I dated someone that long, I would be very hurt & probably bitter.

Respect her wishes for time & space. If she wants to talk to you & try again, she'll let you know. Don't force it; you'll just push her further away.

In the meantime, keep busy & try not to dwell so much on this. You made a hasty decision when you didn't know the facts. You're going to have to deal with the consequences of that. What's done is done.

Just next time, get the facts first. Talk to the girl. Make decisions when you're NOT swimming in anger, paranoia or sadness.

It will work out the way it's meant to be.

I already giving her the space and time that she want, but its been 4 months already it seems like she's putting me on a string and I don't know if that's really the case?, I'm thinking she just playing around with this new guy and she still loves me she also admitted that I'm the one she wants to marry and that she still loves me but she was hesitant to come back I don't know what to do anymore?, I'm being paranoid and becoming judgemental of her actions, maybe she was just doing this to maintain our friendship?...

glenn_T · May 28, 2010, 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Stop waiting and start doing your own thing. Nobody waits for months on end for someone to comeback.

I would have dumped her too.

That and what you previously wrote, are ground to disappear, not win her back especially after you learned this,

That confirms your suspicion, and that time and space thing is a crock to keep you on hold while she sees if this guy is as good as she thinks he is.

Thats why you cut the contact off, and disappear from her cheating life. How dare she! You should never, ever even consider taking her back, under any circumstances. At least you can keep your dignity, and self respect.

But she promise me that I'm the one the she really loves and she wanted to marry me and told me that she only needs plenty of months more to figure her self out?, I'm confused already with this situation?, and I don't know if I should take her back again?...

glenn_T · May 28, 2010, 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Torrid13

I'm confused. Were they courting during that 2 weeks AFTER they broke up, or during that 2 weeks she wasn't talking to him?

It's the 2 weeks after we broke up, its somewhere between that 4 months we're not talking...

CarrotTalker · May 28, 2010, 08:44 AM

4 months? Time to drop this girl. She is just trying to have her cake and eat it too. Keep you as a backup plan if this other guy doesn't work out.

If she wanted to marry and stay with you, she would be talking to you.

glenn_T · May 28, 2010, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Quote by CarrotTalker;
4 months? Time to drop this girl. She is just trying to have her cake and eat it too. Keep you as a backup plan if this other guy doesn't work out.

If she wanted to marry and stay with you, she would be talking to you.

I remember she told me that, It is hard to fight our own self and she's telling me what if I do that to you again?, I can't keep on hurting you so I need space and time to figure myself out...

asking · May 28, 2010, 11:22 AM

So if the guy who was pursuing her was AFTER you dumped her, what was happening during the two weeks when you were so suspicious (right before you dumped her). What reason did she give for not responding to you for two weeks? Had you had an argument before that? Had you accused her of cheating before that? Had she asked for a break? Or did she just one day vanish for two weeks?

We need more details. Torrid and Talaniman could each be right, depending on what actually happened. I don't think a 4 month break sounds very promising. But I gather you two have been talking most of that time?

Confused with my girlfriend giving me hard time for space and time situation..

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