Perhaps this is one of the most common question being asked here, and I have read millions of similar questions and answers, but I would still appreciate if someone could give me advise on how to get over a breakup.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me about a year ago. We met in college and had remained close friends until our senior year when we started to date. We have been on LDR for few years and eventually he couldn't stand it and broke up with me last year. But we dragged for quite a long time since then until recently he started to distant from me and later admitted that he's seeing someone else now after I confronted him. I was heart-broken and devastated, especially it was not too long ago we were still discussing about starting over again and he even suggested that he'll find a job in the city where I'm working at now. I love him so much and thought he was the love of my life. We both went through a lot and I thought we could overcome any obstacles ahead of us.

We had actually broken up few times before. The last time we broke up was because he cheated on me. Later we got back together and things were all great since then. We were more in love then before.

About a year ago he broke up with me because he said he couldn't bear the LDR any longer and he felt too lonely. I was quite upset. But the breaking up process has prolonged and we kept frequent contact as if we're still going out. In the beginning of last year, he came to visit me few times and had remained very caring. I was confused whether he was still in love with me or not. Then last summer I finally brought up the topic and asked if he wants to start things over. He answered yet and even suggested that he'll try to move to the same city where I am. I was quite happy.

But few months ago he suddenly began to distant from me and acted very weirdly. Initially I thought because we'd been fighting too much during that time and he wanted some space. Until later he told me that he felt too lonely and wanted to start dating people again. I was quite upset. Then very soon when I found out that he is actually in a new relationship with another person, I was determined to cut complete contact with him.
I felt betrayed though he broke up with me a year ago already.

Since then he called and emailed me from time to time, checking to see how I am. He even told me that he still misses me a lot and that the girl is only there to pass time. He said he still feels that eventually he'll marry me. I was somewhat happy to learn that he still tihnks of me and yet I'm scared to believe his words anymore. I was very confused.

I sent him a present for Christmas (perhaps because I still miss him a lot). Haven't heard from him since Christmas. I then called him after new year and checked if he receive the present. He casually acknowledged and sounded quite cold on the phone. I felt he suddenly changed his attitude. I was again very confused.

He stopped contacting me since then. A part of me felt that he has moved on already and yet a part of me still keep finding excuses for him and all of sort of explanations why he behaved this way. I feel myself in a mess and I just don't know what should I do? What is on his mind?? This guy was once my love, my best friend and suddenly he walks out from my life. I am very hurt and want to move on, but I still couldn't stop thinking about him and hold on with the hopes that he'll come back. Am I being stupid?

bluerose

"Since then he called and emailed me from time to time, checking to see how I am. He even told me that he still misses me a lot and that the girl is only there to pass time."

I only have one thing to say.... If he can say that about a girl he is seeing, he can say it about you to some other girl.

What he is doing is wrong, and he could be doing it to you.

Move on, keep busy, treat yourself with kindness and you won't need to seek it out from others.

origins13

A part of me thinks he's a jerk and yet a part of me couldn't accept a person I know for so long has become such a stranger to me now. I have known and stayed as closed friends for almost a decade now. He's someone whom I trusted the most.

I don't understand why he tells me about his new gf, that she knows about me and she is jealous of me. Is he just trying to lead me on or simply try to make me feel better. If so, then why suddenly he disappeared? He tells me he still loves me and yet the next day he becomes so cold.

I know I should move on. I am just very disappointed.

talaniman

You can stop the rollercoaster by stopping all contact with him whatsoever, that includes emails and phone calls. He may have good intentions(?), but he hurts you. You end this drama, and move ahead with a life you enjoy without him.

Ammutty

AH! he is trying to use you as his stepni!
Not your guy, you should move on..

bluerose

Maybe he has become a habit you are simply trying to break. In order to break bad habits we must replace them with a new, good habit.

Take care of you. Stay strong and stay above the battles.

chuff

Let's be honest here. This relationship ended years ago. Truthfully I'm not sure if it ever started. It was long distance with no real promise to come together, he likes you when he doesn't have anybody else to have sex with, and he openly tells you he cheated before and is now seeing another woman. He's made you feel worthless and dependant and you choose to accept it. Now be bigger than the situation and choose to accept that you won't fall for this again. Be bigger than this and do some studying on why you've allowed this.