No respect

littlepunkster06 · #1 Jan 31, 2005, 03:11 PM

Well.. I have been dating this guy for 15 months now, and for the last two months his respect for me has gone down hill, and sometimes he doesnt call me for two days at a time to tell me where he is, or that hes okay. I have to Plan ahead of time when I can hang out with him, because his friends and skate board come first. Can you please help me???

changingthings · Feb 1, 2005, 07:06 AM

It sounds to me like he is either loosing interest in you or has met someone else. I think the best think for you to do is not make yourself so available for him. You said you have to plan ahead to hang out with him. I think you should make him go out of his way to try to hang out with you. When guys see that they can take you for granted, they will. So, if you make him feel not wanted he will want you more. Trust me it works!!! And if it doesn't he isn't that into you and you don't want him anyway.

CroCivic91 · Feb 1, 2005, 07:43 AM

I'll double that. Not contacting him is the best way of telling how much he cares. Play his game. If he doesn't care, he won't call either - it's the easiest way to find out.

littlepunkster06 · Feb 1, 2005, 11:05 AM

So I shouldnt call him? Wait for him to call me, and if he doesnt, he doesnt care? Thats hard to do, i always give in, and i hate it. Does he do it beacuse he knows ill be there when he comes crawling back? I wanna stick up for my self, but at the same time i dont wanna push him away. I love and care about him alot. it sucks.

Wildcat21 · Feb 3, 2005, 12:52 PM

DO not wait. There is no wait. Go do something with your life. Your guy is NEVER your life. AGAIN we have another person here who got WAY too emotionally involved. You need your own life. This guy is playing you like a fiddle. Turn the tables. It may hurt at first.

You SHOULD NOT call or see him every day.

DON'T EVEN consider calling him again until he calls you. And maybe call him back 2 days later.

You WONT be pushing him a way - love works the OPPOSITE in what you think. MAKE HIM MISS YOU!!!! Hello!!! and that goes to everyone else.

CroCivic91 · Feb 3, 2005, 03:24 PM

Hear hear!

Exactly...it may hurt at first, but you'll be good after.

If i only knew what i know now, i wouldn't be hurt when i was.

SBCSRNA · Feb 3, 2005, 05:20 PM

I agree with everyone else...I'm 31 and have been in several serious relationships that have taken a turn for the worst...but thankfully I didn't marry the wrong person. I've learned many valuable lessons throughout my dating career (at least that's what it feels like)...most importantly, self-respect. A guy is not going to respect someone who doesn't respect themself. You have to get your act together, re-evaluate what is really important to you, and live YOUR LIFE. That is all you can do. You cannot change how another person feels, only improve yourself daily. As long as you are throwing yourself at his feet, at his convience, you are only disrespecting yourself. Believe me, when you are an empowered, self-respecting woman - men will notice and will respect you and desire to be around you for all the right reasons. It is a very hard lesson to learn but take it from those of us who have been there, gotten who we wanted, and lost ourselves in the process (what are you left with then?...nothing!) I used to hate it when other people used to tell me this...but it's true - there ARE other fish in the sea. When you meet the right one, you WILL know it (everything will fall into place, and you won't have to wonder)...I can testify to that because I knew it immediately when I met my soon to be husband. He is wonderful and all that I have ever dreamed of in a man and soulmate. And he RESPECTS me. Don't sell yourself out and settle for someone that isn't right for you. It shouldn't be work...it should just flow. Good luck and God bless.

justjamestx · Feb 4, 2005, 03:55 PM

Well it sounds to me that you have already been given excellent advise. I will tell you that if the guy doesn't respect you now, dump him and dump him fast. I several female friends in which that non-respecting boyfriends. When a woman is "in Love" it is pointless giving my friendly advice, but it is sad that in a short amount of time they begin making excuses for their boyfriends. Then as more time passes I see them begin to believe that it is their fault for they are to pushy, or to involved. Or they should be accepting that their boyfriends friends (male and female) come before them. I can say that thankfully when one of them did get out of the relationship and found another boyfriend a few months later, she is back to the woman she was stading tall with self respect and pride. Looking back she can see the many issues that she was blaming upon herself, but now she is thankful she out of that has found someone better. So move on and as difficult as it may be, know that when you find that special someone you will feel so much better.



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