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I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I found out I was pregnant after three months, and miscarried. We ended up moving in together two weeks after the miscarriage happened. There have been a lot of instances where he has put his hands on me, and a few where he has caused quite a bit of damage. We got into a bad place, and we've both decided to step back to try to fix things. Financially - it wasn't best for us to keep our apartment, so I moved home, and he moved in with his sister. We continued to fight like crazy, and I found comfort in talking to a friend of mine that is in the army and in Iraq. When my friend came home on leave, I spent a lot of time with him, and we ended up sleeping together. The problem is - my boyfriend and I have been doing very good, and I'm very happy. My friend that I slept with - was jealous of my relationship with my boyfriend -- so he decided to send AIM conversations, pictures, and a video of me kissing him -- to my boyfriend. I denied sleeping with this guy, but my boyfriend wont speak to me. He cried all day long, and I feel terrible. But, now he's back to being angry. He put his hands on me today. It was the first time in months. This is one time where I understand why he did it. I'm not this kind of girl. I love my boyfriend. I feel terrible for what I did, and terrible for the way that I hurt him. This happened back at the beginning of September and it is now mid October -- Please tell me how I can make this right with him....
doing it without him in the picture doesn't have to mean being alone. do you have family or friends to be there with you? would you really rather risk having a child witness you be abused, and be abused themself, than risk having a child without a father figure? because that is what will happen. the abuse towards you will continue. not just maybe. it will. it will not stop. and it will most likely turn towards your child. is that really what you want? you need to think about that. is being with him worth your life? yes, you messed up. you stayed with him after he hit you. you cheated on him. that was all wrong. it does not justify his actions. it does not excuse them. not now. not ever. nothing you can do will ever justify his hitting you.
Better going it alone than bringing your child up having an abusive father
If he hits you do you seriously think he wouldn't be capble of hurting your child as well...
Honestly I think this post has gone on long enough.
You have had ALL the information you could possibly need you have just chosen to ignore it an keep asking how to get him back.
To tell you the truth, I'd rather be beaten up than to be cheated. I hate this excuses that someone got carried away and ending up sleeping with someone else omg. Yeah, you did a good job, you cheated on him. Did he deserve it to be cheated? And what kind of bf is he, beating a woman. OMG. But it's better than to cheat. I would like to see how you would react if he cheated on you with someone else. And then she would post all the pictures and all the conversation on MSN and so. Why do people have affair, when they are in a relationship. What's more you were dishonest to him. When you become a mother, I hope your child will understand this. I can't find any good sympathy with you, even though I try to.
Seems like you think you're the one who's suffering the most, but the truth is your bf is suffering more than you. How did he feel when he saw the video you kissing with that guy. Tss.
Ok, even though, you're this bad, but I got no choice, but to give you some advice.
Just tell your bf, if he lays his hand on you one more time, tell him you'll call the cops. And if he won't change just leave him for good or you two will be suffering.
Now you feel bad, but during the sex, how did u feel? Did you feel guilty at all, huh? Omg, why do I hate cheating this much. Cheating ruins everything. And you're one of them. You're a damn cheater and he's a bad abuser. Omg, these human's actions. Why are the people so stupid, why don't they just open their eyes and realize that they are doing stupid actions.
You know what, you're just one of the bad example for your child. I don't know what he'll be. But God Bless Him. An unwanted child, who's born by a cheating mom and abusing dad. The hell, how can sth like this exist.
And I don't care if you feel humiliated by me. You deserve it. For every bad commitments, there shall be punishments. Don't like it? Don't care! I'm not that understanding? Well, you can't expect from a 18 years old boy to understand these things.
Now, there's so little you can save. And everyone who just said to leave your bf. Don't you all see the consquences? What about that child? You know how hard is it, to be raised by a single mother? Use your heart over brain sometimes.
Stay with you bf, tell him that you can't stand his approach. It hurts you and ask him if he cares about that child. I can tell that both of you, are really bad persons. Hope you'll improve soon
Omg, everyone can change. My father was also a abuser, but I told him to stop. I protected my mother no matter what. I think only a good son can make his father to stop. It's better to have an abusive father than to have a lonely family. The child will suffer omg, how can't you understand this?
omg. are you out of your mind? this woman is not in a safe situation. do not encourage her to stay in a potentially life threatening relationship. yeah, people can change. but most don't.
Yeah, and she won't be safe if she doesn't change her behaviour. What about that child I just feel sorry for him
I really meant to disagree with you, not agree.
This man was hitting her before she cheating.
He is an abuser and she needs to be away from him.
His emotional problems are not her fault. This is a big man
a prize fighter who hits women. Was hitting her before.
Did you not read all of her post?
Omg, everyone can change. My father was also a abuser, but I told him to stop. I protected my mother no matter what. I think only a good son can make his father to stop. It's better to have an abusive father than to have a lonely family. The child will suffer omg, how can't you understand this?
It is not up to the child to protect the parent. The parent's job is to protect the child. I am sorry that you had to be the grown up in your family. I think you need to get counseling for yourself. However, this is not about you.
I am going to be extremely blunt and harsh:
Imessedup, wake up. When are you going to "be ready" to get your life and self-esteem back? When you are in the hospital with broken bones? When your spleen or kidneys have been damaged? When you are in the hospital praying that your unborn child survives long enough to be born, hopefully, healthy? When you are mourning your unborn child that you miscarried because he got mad and hit you in the stomach again?
Yes, you messed up. That is for you to work through for yourself. Only you can forgive yourself and move forward from there. Using his fists to punish yourself is not acceptable behavior.
You want us to tell you what to do to keep him from hitting you again when he thinks about whatever wrongs you have done him. Other than cheating, what other wrongs have you done to deserve being hit? Not say, "yes, sir"? Didn't have his dinner warm enough or cool enough? His beer had too much foam? Those are reasons that I have seen other women get hit for. The woman with the beer, her arm was broken in four places. Did they deserve it? Why do you? Why does any possible child you attempt to bring into the world?
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