Is once a cheater, always a cheater?

Skell

Some would say so, and it certainly does seem as though many who do cheat continue to do so. But i also dont go along with the suggestion that people cant change.

i know one friend of mine cheated in his wife (he was caught too) but they reconciled and sort counseling and i am happy to say to this day he hasnt cheated again. Now that isnt to say he wont but i dont think he will. I hope i am proved correct.

So in general a lot of cheaters are repeat offenders however i think it is possible for people to change their ways. But it certainly takes a lot of work as well!

valinors_sorrow

I don't believe it is that simple, Aqua. Although many people are unfaithful from some damaged place they live in, I stand as proof that even the worst damage is surmountable. Although I have never cheated while in a committed relationship, I did date a married man in my acting out days and have made the necessary amends. And I have done far worse than that too. But some might say that the wisest one is the reformed bad girl (or guy)...

People need help and they sometimes don't get it. People can also learn the lesson, with or without professional help, and be profoundly changed by it. I have seen countless cases of that and frankly over far more devastating things than infidelity. I married a one-time cheater (who did not cheat with me or for me) having seen his transformation with my own eyes.

I vote no on this one. That's the equivalency of suggesting that any bad thing anyone does is a locked down pattern.

talaniman

I have to believe that anyone can change, If they want to and are willing to work for it. Sadly though too many choose not to.

Krs

I somehow would say yes, thou some times maybe not BUT (theres always a BUT) i do believe any relationship where cheating happened and got forgiven the relationship is no longer the same.
Trust is out of the window....

rkim291968

Nope but the odd is against the cheater.

5tumble_n_fall

Absolutley, my story - was with this guy for like a year, he seemed, at the time to be the best thing to ever happen to me, it wasnt until we broke up I realised what a minipulative cheating scum bag he was! It may seem as though you really love him, but think into the future, i now live with my new guy, a man who I trust 100% and I have never been happier, if you need to ask your self that question, I think you already know the answer......... you will never trust him again, beleive me! BTW he had three kids to three women, and really i knew this was going on, you try to talk yourself out of it, but you know in your heart he is still doing it.

Geoffersonairplane

I think it depends on the circumstances of the cheating, the type of person who has done it and if that person is willing to be honest and face up to what he or she has done.

I don't think it is fair to brand all cheaters as repeat offenders because everyone falls short of perfection and deserves a chance to accept the errors of their ways and put things right.

Me personally, I would never, ever do something like that. If you feel the need to cheat then something is wrong in your relationship and you should not be in it.

Finish it first, then do what you need to..Save yourself your dignity and avoid breaking a heart!!!

Wildcat21

I do not know anyone who has cheated - who has stopped - oh they mught stop for a while - but they always justify it again. It's some sort of flawed gene in their system. They'll wait til the coast is clear.

It's also usually peopel who are very selfish - non-givers. They usuaully think they are givers - but no.

Seon

well i had a dream about my boyfriend cheating on me what does that really mean?