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    Denice87's Avatar
    Denice87 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 18, 2011, 10:44 PM
    Cheated on boyfriend
    I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex b/f I use to live with for 2yrs and now he doesn't trust me plus he does santeria which is like a mind reader, witch craft... so we've been trying to work things out because we really care for each other. But the problem is that he does his witch craft to see what I'm thinking and what I'm doing. He told me that I still have feeling for my ex and that I still think of him. Which is an issue because I really do love my current boyfriend but my ex still comes in my mind... I JUST WANT TO FORGET MY EX ITS DESTROYING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MAN I WANT TO MARRY.. PLEASE HELP I Don't KNOW WHAT TO DO MY BOYFRIEND WANTS ME TO FORGET MY EX OR ELSE WE'RE Going to BREAKUP...
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Mar 19, 2011, 05:12 AM

    You had better get a grip on reality. He can't read your mind to see what you are thinking. He has you so scared you don't know what you are doing. I don't know why you would want to be involved with a manipulative person like this for the rest of your life.

    Tick
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #3

    Mar 19, 2011, 05:25 AM

    He's a manipulative bully-and you should leave him to his little immature games.

    Why would you want to marry someone who tells you what to think?
    adviceishere's Avatar
    adviceishere Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 492
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    #4

    Mar 19, 2011, 05:39 AM

    I will admit I'm a master manipulator!

    I know my boyfriend so well that he actually thinks I can read his mind half the time, it freaks him out LOL and I just go alone with!

    But most of the time its just pure coincidence and because he's so predictable! I don't use my "power" for evil though LOL its all very light hearted... like il know when he's about to surprise me, he just thinks he's good at hiding things and he's the worst!
    Denice87's Avatar
    Denice87 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 19, 2011, 06:10 AM
    He was my midddle school boyfriend and we spllit up for 7 years and now we've been back together on and off for a year I cheated on him within this time we've been back together... And your right I don't know what I'm doing or what even to think or not think... He didn't do that craft back then but he does it now and he says it tells him I still think of my ex... He broke up with me an hour ago and he says I will never hear from or even of him again... He says it's real this time he say he put in his all in this relationship and he says I'm not doing good enough because I still remember my ex when I'm always trying not to remember... I don't have anymore feeling for my ex this guys just makes me think I do when I don't he just has me paranoid... But I know he loves me because he stayed with me after I cheated plus I have a daughter that isn't his and he acepted her... She is going to be 2 and she also like him allot... Just wish everything was good and that we would be happy... What do you think about my situation?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #6

    Mar 19, 2011, 06:16 AM

    I think you are in a 'no win' situation with this man. I think he is looking for an excuse to leave, and he has found one. He has you absolutely hornswaggled into thinking he is 'practicing his craft'. Bull poop.

    Tick
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #7

    Mar 19, 2011, 06:45 AM

    Denice, you messed up. Hopefully, you have learned a lesson and you no longer allow the ex to be in your life or communicate with you.

    Of course you are going to think about your ex. You lived with him for two years and you cheated with him. Even if you never hear his name again, there will be times when he pops into mind. It is human nature. Our minds like associating smells, sounds, sights... all kinds of stimuli with previous experiences. It is what you do with those memories and thoughts that matters. Acknowledging them and letting them go is one thing. Dwelling on them and putting energy into keeping them close to the surface is another. If you are holding on to them and actively searching for the memories, perhaps you aren't as ready to move on as you thought you were.

    Your current boyfriend is playing mind games. He's telling you to stop thinking about a big purple elephant in a green ball gown. So, of course, you are thinking about that big purple elephant in a green ball gown and, being human with a human being's imagination, you probably have the elephant doing the Tango with a giraffe in a blue leotard. There isn't any actual mind reading. There is knowing you and how you act and react. In poker it is called reading your 'tells'. So, he plants a thought and looks for the 'tells' and makes you think it is all your fault that you are thinking about the ex.

    Quite frankly, I don't think he is working with you to move forward and let the past go. It sounds to me like he is doing everything he can to cause you pain while looking innocent. As has been asked, is that really the type of person you want to spend your life with?

    Take care of yourself.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Mar 19, 2011, 08:15 AM

    His breaking up with you will turn into a blessing in disguise, because now you have your freedom, and should cherish it.

    No more being played by a weirdo, so you can actually think clearly, and discover the real you. Take full advantage of that and be single. It's a great chance for your daughter to see how a real healthy female leads her life.
    Denice87's Avatar
    Denice87 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Mar 19, 2011, 12:31 PM
    Thanks all is very appreciated thank you everybody.. I think it's true he just been tying his best to just break our relationship off he just seem to dwell on the past all the time... He only was seeing my mistakes and not his own he's the type of person that always wants to be right and everybody else is wrong... I just see it like he really just wanted to break up... He just plays his roll so good... He hangs out with friends all day and allot of times he would put off our plans to just hang out with his friends... But thanks everybody for your help and support...
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #10

    Mar 19, 2011, 11:52 PM

    Leave him in the past Denice,and have a great new future.

    Good luck.

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