I caught my boyfriend watching porn after I already expressed I dont like it!
Asked Apr 30, 2008, 05:05 PM
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17 Answers
About 3months ago I say porn on his computer. I freaked out and told him I hate it, it makes me feel very insecure. I just feel like as long as he has me why would he need porn? We having a very good sex life but the I caught him again. He snuck out of bed and so I pretended I was asleep and then came out and caught him in the act! Now I don't know what to do. If he knew it bothered me as much as it did why would he do it again? And does that mean he would keep other things from me? I mean other than that he's the perfect boyfriend but showing that he can lie and hide things from me makes me very unsettled........
Let me see, have him sleep the next few nights on the couch, see if that pron will snuggle with him.
While he is out put a porn blocker on the computer and delete any porn on it.
Or of course tossing him and the computer to the drive way comes in mind also.
It is not all the porn but the disrespect he showed to you about it, and they lying. While I don't like or believe in porn for those couples that both agree and like it, this is a free county,
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We'd like to understand what you find wrong with Fr_Chuck's answer:
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Please focus on the content not the person!
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He should not lie to you about it, but, if you have given him no option other than to NEVER view it...........well............you know what they say happens if you back a bear into a corner?
Your bear chose to "hide" it from you rather than to come out fighting. He must be a peaceful man.
Did you ever think about the fact that perhaps he feels insecure about his sexual ability?
He may be looking for other ways to put excitement into your bedroom?
I'm not here simply to defend his actions, but to ask you to look at how you confronted him about it and how your approach severely limited his options.
Perhaps an open and peaceful discussion about this topic would do you both good.
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We'd like to understand what you find wrong with progunr's answer:
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Its porn big deal if you can watch it you should be mature to trust him sometimes a guy can only love him self for sure will be picking up tips for you how much do you want to bet? I would get over it and stop being insecrue maybe your not doing something he wants to try? Maybe its you not him just put that threw your head if you don't like it that's your thing but you can't expect him to change somethign you don't like that's his private momments we all get them don't have to be sex
450donn (May 1, 2008 09:18 AM):
Porn is an addiction and as such needs to be dealt with like other addictions. He needs help. Source:
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We'd like to understand what you find wrong with blackmage's answer:
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Here's what I think ( MEN LOVE PORN ) Put it this way, men are visual beings. I don't for one minute think they are looking at the woman in the porn and saying " I've got to have her " it's not about her. It's about watching the act.
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We'd like to understand what you find wrong with MissingHim2Much's answer:
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Regardless of there age men are just like little kids, if you tell them that you don't want them to do something you don't like (in your case watching porn) there going to do it anyway.
Don't worry about him watching porn (unless he gets addicted), you said it yourself that your sex life is great. What's the problem?
Men are not attracted to insecure women, and you said it
Yourself that it makes you feel insecure when he watches it.
I feel that women have a wilder romantic imagination then men, so when you want to please yourself you use your imagination. When men want to please there selves they use porn.
If you keep pushing the issue (if it's not serious), you're going to push him away.
I try to be truthful and honest...not hurtful and mean.
Smees (May 4, 2008 03:59 PM):
Obviously a woman who does not want a man but rather an aged child to boss around. Source:
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We'd like to understand what you find wrong with nova225's answer:
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Lying is not good in a relationship, and I think you may have to approach this sensitive to him, subject with kid gloves, and get some communication, and understanding going. This may be a very long process, so don't rush in, guns blazing.
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We'd like to understand what you find wrong with talaniman's answer:
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Thus starts the game of hide and snoop.
Him: He will get sneakier, and hide it a lot better.
You: Will need to dig deeper to find it.
Better he is at home, under the same roof, rather than out at a strip club or online chat, trying to start emotional relationships.
Why not sit there and join him, and find out what turns him on rather than berat him to hide it.
If you think about we are animals. In the Animal world most male animals try and impregnate as many females as he can to continue his bloodline. The females look after the young.
This guy is only attending to his animal urges without actually doing anything extreme.
Know I know you all won't like this explanation from a male. My New girlfriend and I have a bit of a peek, and I must say it's only for about 5 minutes before it's turned off, if you know what I mean. Some memorable sessions have been aquired :-)
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Sorry, One more thing.
My Girlfriend says she doesn't like TV in the bedroom. Absolutely Hates It.
But on a cold Sunday, snuggled up with nibblies and me she doesn't mind a good Girlie Movie to watch with me such as Notting Hill.
COMPROMISE.
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I look at it this way. If you don't like coffee, would you be mad if he drank coffee? It is the same premise. Maybe he needs a "little extra" stimulation. If this is the only "problem" in your relationship then I would try to ignore it. By the way, why were you searching on his computer? Trust issues? My computer is personal- as personal as my wallet or dresser drawers.....I divorced my wife for 'sneaking" looks at my computer. There was nothing on it that would be any threat to our marriage but she was so insecure with herself that she "needed" to get into my Hard Drive and "see" what I was up to. If it does not affect your life in any other way, you need to chill or re-evaluate your love and trust for him.
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We'd like to understand what you find wrong with Handyman2007's answer:
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So, it is generally accepted that men will watch porn when it's available...and in the internet age it generally is at one's fingertips when interested.
But - What number of women do?
So, the question is:
1) Ladies, do you you watch? When? What kind?
That's it.
Hey gang-
Not sure if I am posting in the correct topic.
My boyfriend secretly watches porn when he thinks I am asleep by sneaking his laptop into the bathroom and locking the door.
This may be natural...but it is very aggrevating and hurtful.
Two cents on a couple questions are welcomed:
Is...
My situation is a little different because I don't believe my boyfriend has an addiction. I want to know what it is though. I've caught my boyfriend on two different occasions looking at porn and he knows how upset I am about the whole porn thing and he promised he would not do it again. My problem...