Hello there! sorry ill try my best to keep this short.
Ive been seeing this guy for 7 months now, hes fantastic have a great laugh. But there is an issue. He was with this girl for 3 years and was due to get married this June, but as you guessed he called it off. I met him one random night round town and he's only just split from her..said he wasnt attracted to her anymore blah blah. They had a house together, she moved out and he now lives there with his best mate (he's taken over the mortgage, this has only just been sorted out). At the beginning of our relationship, his ex asked my boyfriend out for a meal for his bday, also i good bye good luck meal. This rang alarm bells for me!!! he thought about it, knew i wasnt happy so didnt bother, later that week she came round to collect her stuff and told him she loved him and if they started seeing each other less would it work? (he told her that he only see's me a couple of times a week-taking it slow) so she thought could they do the same. He said no and it was over etc. THEN i find out shes been going to these concerts with my fellas best mate and going out with his mother for meals. She rings him for stupid things..he always says its about the mortgage - but to me she just doesnt want to let go! he said he doesnt speak to her (but i saw emails from her on his email - (i didnt read them just noticed them when he wa son his comp). Im confused because he told me he didnt love her anymore and admitted to being unfaithful to her..so had to call it off as it wasnt fair. Do you think im harsh is saying now this mortgage has been sorted out - would he cut the ties? no contact - move on! He tells me he's in love with me etc, never got on with a girl so well etc. And are looking to go away on holiday next year. I just dont know if ive got in to something that could end up being hard work - ie his ex being on the scene, and him realising what he's left! she clearly doesnt want to let go - always going places with his friends. I cant see why she would go out for a meal with his mum 7 months after he split with her. I dont know if this makes sense - but someone please help me out. Am i just worrying over nothing or what?

MissVonDutch

My dear, when an ex is involved the situation is always unpleasant. There are always complications. From what I gather in this email, your boyfriend does not seem the honest type. He is lying for petty things, like an email...yeah this is just an email but from this ridiculous lie it leads to another and before you know it you are living your life in lies.
Ask yourself a couple questions; why did they break off? What was the cause of it. Being in a long relationship is not easily forgotten.
You are a human and have feelings let your boyfriend make you understand were you stand. Besides my dear, make him makes his EX know where she stands, I really dont think he should be entertaining conversations with her, knowing that she wants him back. Well he cant have the best of both worlds, he has got to choose!!!
Goodluck..xxx

statictable

Yes this requires hard work and his xgf is willing to work very hard and probably has a head start on you.

Are you interested in some good hard work with no lock on the outcome?
Are you interested in feeling very good and very bad as you work very hard for that which may not exist?
Do you feel trust for this man? Do you know if you would be happy with this man over the long term?
This type of work goes on night and day, around the clock, around the world and has been with us for thousands of years so if you accept this mission Mrs. Phelps and are caught, all knowledge of your activities will be disavowed.
Good luck. ps I think he loves you very much.

lippylou

He split up with his ex because he didnt feel the same for her - and because he didnt feel the same he started being unfaithful (she doesnt know about this, he never told her) He new what he was doing was wrong so finished it. He also told me before we got together - he didnt want to make the same mistake, and that the girl he settled with had to be right for him, as he didnt want to mess anyone about. I just feel so petty and a right moaner keep bringing it up. I just wish she would back off. But i feel the more she's around (maybe not him, but around his friends and mother) he may think twice about our relationship. But last night he was telling me that its the best relationship he's evber had (meaning me and him) so if he doesnt want to loose me - why is he carrying on with something that he knows im bothered about? maybe he likes the chase? i dont know?