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i dated a girl for over a year that was very non committal. we got along great and i really liked, maybe loved her. she put up alot of boundaries and never really let me in, however when she needed me i was there. i helped, listened and advised her for every major problem, catastrophe in her life. from the small to the very serious and yet she went on dates that she thinks i don't know about. never introduced me to her friends. parents either. she put everyone else, including her ex boyfriend before me and played some serious headgames with me.
in the end she got a new job, which i supported her with the confidence. the job was a major theme in our relationship and when she got it after being frustrated with her old job, she dumped me. she told me it was to be alone and she couldn't be with anyone. come to find out she started in right away with a guy at her job which all seems very "convenient" to me. she doesn't know i know and when i asked her, she lied some more.
i haven't spoken to her and sent her stuff back to her. i feel lied to and used somewhat and and yet am having trouble moving on. as much as i am mad, i still miss her and can't stop thinking about her. i wonder she cares about me or has any guilt. should i tell her i know and how do i move on from this? closure? just go thru it? help please.
Sounds to me like this girl used you mate. Sorry, but i dont really know why you would want to be with her if she treated you the way you describe here.
Sounds like it was a bit of one way relationship.
I wouldnt talk to her. What are you going to get from that? Nothing but more pain.
I keep hearing this word closure. What is closure? You never get closure.
Dont mean to sound harsh but ill give you all the closure you need. This girl broke up with you, meaning she doesnt want to have anything do to with you now.
She didnt treat you all that nice so you should be thankful that you are out of it now and able to move on and live a happy life with someone who loves you for you!
How do you move on?
Dont contact her! Stay away. Completely remove her from your life. No calls, no emails, no text, no my space etc. Got that?
Occupy your mind with other things. Join a gym, run, workout, further education, work hard at your job etc. Throw yourself into the other aspects of your life and concentrate on making yoursefl happy.
Your the No. 1 priority now. Do things you want to do. Hang with your buddies.
it is hard, we all know that, but give it time and do the right things as i have suggested above and soon enough you will find yourself happy not to be with such a person.
And once you get to that point i bet someone magical pops into your life and you will then now what a relationship is really about!
I do agree with Skell, it is hard though to take it on board that your ex doesn't want anything to do with you. I find this. You just want to know why etc. Best thing you can do is try to just make a better life for yourself, as Skell says get some things to focus on. Having said this, there will be bad times, it will take time. She sounds like she wasn't good enough for you.
It seems you had invested a whole lot more than she did. Accept you where a good person, who did there best, and move on with your life. You have learned a valuable lesson here so don't forget it. There is someone who will appreciate who you are , but first you must move on.
She's a liar, a cheater and a user. She lied to you, cheated on you, and used you. She did you a big favor to cut you loose. Thank her for it, move on, and next time have enough self-respect not to allow yourself to be treated like that. Being a doormat for a user doesn't convince them to treat you better, it confirms their contempt for you and perpetuates their behavior.
but I can understand your feelings. I have recently parted from someone who treated me badly.
I think the thing that is preventing you from moving on, is the fact that you cannot come to terms with how she can treat you like this! How hurt you are and more importantly how little your time together meant to her !
If you knew she was hurting then it would be easier to deal with and move on.
To Sum It Up........YOUR MALE PRIDE HAS BEEN HURT ! ................
Yeah I can relate to that. I hurts my male pride, to have been used. I gave her the romance, meals, nights out etc. Now she does not speak to me !
I am angry at this and want her to hurt as much as she has hurt me, but thats just emotions talking.
---- I think the key here is to go very slowly in a new relationship, dont get caught up in the emotions. Let your head listen to your heart, but it should rule your heart.
This same sort of thing happened to my husband. Before we married, he was with a woman who basically brought him through the mud. He found closure when he met me. Although, that same woman came knocking on OUR door 5 years later to apologize to him. I was worried as all get out! I knew how much her had cared about her in the past. I felt threatened. But I gave him the support he needed. And I provided her time to explain things to him and apologize. In the end, it made him a much better person. He realized that the experience made him a better man. She released him and hurt him from a bad relationship, so possibly he could find me! Today, as hard as it was for me at the time, I am so happy that I loved him enough to sacrifice my own insecurities about his past love interest. I am very grateful for her telling him that she was sorry for her behavior and that she regreted hurting him. I even think he became alittle cocky about it. Which sort of made him even more cute to me in the long haul. Because in the end, it was her loss and my gain! I have a great one! And I am holding on for dear life!
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