cant move on!!

sarah11282 · #1 Jul 25, 2005, 02:37 AM

my boyfriend finished with me around 2 months ago. he has a new girlfriend now but i can not seem to move on. i have not been chasing him or trying to contact him or trying to get him back or anything. its just i cannot seem to move on. any advice??

turtlegirl · Jul 25, 2005, 06:15 AM

What have you done to try to move on? Try to distract yourself. Work out, call friends you've lost touch with, write letters, read, take a trip if you can --even just to the next town over. Do something different each day, like go to work a different route, buy coffee from a different shop, get your groceries somewhere else. Make it a project to do something different every day. This is good because it's a distraction, you see how resourceful you are, you see new things and you talk to different people.
I got this advice from my brother a few years ago and it's good. Try it.

Be well.

fredg · Jul 25, 2005, 06:34 AM

Hi,
You can do it.
IF you really want to.
Go out, meet and make new friends. Get involved with other things and other people. Start going to church, if you don't already.
Before you know it, you will be thinking about other things.
Best of luck,
fredg

Wildcat21 · Jul 25, 2005, 08:47 AM

Turtle - I like that - Do something different definitely helps - it helps to see different people daily life.. No question. I even got a tatoo that was a special reminder. Let hair grow longer. Worked out A LOT and got in great shape.

It also takes just plain old time.

With one gal I wrote out everything I liked about her and everything I didn't like. I then realized some of the things I didn't like were really bad - too big of a flirt, some trust issues I felt internally, respect etc.

Wildcat21 · Jul 25, 2005, 08:50 AM

ALSO - heartache is avoidable.

Usualy you feel heartache when you put to much importance in someone. They are NOT your life - just part of it.

You can NEVER control them or convice them to like you - never.

In future relationships - make sure to be MORE independent - build barriers. Don't get too clsoe too early.

sahilgoyal · Jul 28, 2005, 09:11 AM

I totally agree with turtlegirl and wildcat. I was ina very similar situation as yours. Before doing any of the things mentioned..you have to believe that you have to move on. Tell yourself .."i gotta move on". Spend time with family n friends.take up a sport. And remember wht wildcat said..."He was NOT your life..just a small part of it".

Wildcat21 · Jul 28, 2005, 09:27 AM

Yes - I also - learn to love yourself first.

Change - build barriers and tests going forward.

You don't NEED someone - needy-clingy is horrible.

Trapperkeeper · Aug 28, 2005, 09:22 PM

I think you should move on too. did you want him more when you found out about his new girl. Sometimes you want them more when they have someone else. You should go out and find someone else not to fill the void of him not being there. Just because he moved on you should to.

fredg · Aug 29, 2005, 03:12 AM

HI,
If you have been to church, or still go; then keep going.
Church is a great place to meet new people. It also lets you know that you are not alone.
Best of luck,
fredg



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