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    marcus83's Avatar
    marcus83 Posts: 48, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Aug 27, 2007, 06:34 PM
    I cant look at other women, how did you do it?
    She's with another guy now, LOL I think were officially done, but because I'm still in love with her, some part of me is hesatant, even though I know deep down that meeting a new girl would be the best thing for me, I can't see myself with another woman. Does anybody understanr what I mean, true love is like a disease, like I said she's with someone else, yet two twweks ago said "tell your family I love them even if they hate me,, lol how sick is that? But I still go out trying to meet new girls... I GET HIT ON!! And still feel awkward! Maybe she turned me gay.. lol
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Aug 27, 2007, 06:35 PM
    Marcus. Counseling. Immediately.

    I don't think anyone can help you on here anymore. You are so far into this and nothing we are saying seems to be sinking in or helping. I feel like I'm running into a wall over and over again when it comes to you. It makes me very worried about you and how you are holding up with all of this.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #3

    Aug 27, 2007, 06:38 PM
    You are just not ready to date again yet.
    I don't know why people think they ought to just jump right into another relationship before they have gotten over the other.
    You will not die if you don't date again right away. Spend some time alone, unattached for a while. You might even enjoy it.
    goldilox's Avatar
    goldilox Posts: 46, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Aug 27, 2007, 06:38 PM
    I would say, if you're guna turn gay because of this, keep wanting her if dating other women duzn't help... how long have you guys been separated? If it hasn't been that long I would say that you just need some time to get over it... I think we all go through that phaze sometimes until one day we realize it... I always say that if something is meant to be it will be even if it duzn't happen at the time you want it to but when the time is right... but the last thing you want to do right now is to turn gay
    marcus83's Avatar
    marcus83 Posts: 48, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Aug 27, 2007, 06:40 PM
    Glinda, I'm not psychotic, I'm not about to go on some violent rampage... I work full time, go to school fulltime, and how I do that with this stupid girl constantly looming in my head, I don't know, I went to go see a shrink last week, she said I'm just depressed, and that Im a little OCD over this girl, gave me some weird pills, anti depressants, I took them for a week, they make me feel worse... dont worry, I don't sit in a dark room and think about this girl all day,. I do have a life, even though I have a headache allday for the past 7+ months
    marcus83's Avatar
    marcus83 Posts: 48, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Aug 27, 2007, 06:42 PM
    LOL,. I was joking about turning gay... thanks for humoring me,. but with what I've gone through with her, it would be understandable
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Aug 27, 2007, 06:45 PM
    That is a relief to hear Marcus. However I hope you are continuing with the therapy.
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Aug 27, 2007, 07:56 PM
    Marcus,

    Here's some ideas:

    NO GUTS. NO GLORY.

    1) Go to a therapist and tell them you have a fixation and want to be happy again
    2) Get to a starting point by finding an ending point.
    Additional Ideas:
    3) Contact her. See what she says. The truth can't be any worse than your imagination.
    4) Take her number off your phone. Erase her email.
    5) Go out on 5 bad dates - one may be good. THEN report back...

    If you do none of the above then you may simply remain stuck.
    Tony J's Avatar
    Tony J Posts: 90, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Jan 22, 2008, 08:47 AM
    This might sound a bit harsh but I had sex with as many women as possible after a hard break up (same woman almost 5 years). It helped me, but is most likely not the most ethical choice. Ethics are, however, a subjective choice. I also expect that some might disagree with me. Sex and counseling helped me, but, it was mostly the sex.
    madaman's Avatar
    madaman Posts: 212, Reputation: 25
    Full Member
     
    #10

    Jan 22, 2008, 10:40 AM
    First off you don't have to be psychotic to benefit from seeing someone for help. And I might be wrong here, but I doubt any anti depressants start working 100% in the first month, let alone the first week.

    Did you see a psychologist or a psychiatrist?
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
    Ultra Member
     
    #11

    Jan 22, 2008, 12:27 PM
    Hi there, Marcus...

    Yours is a question that is frequently asked on this awesome site. So many people feel the same conflicting emotions about their exes - myself included. Here are a few forums that have been going for a while that may give you some of the answers you are seeking...

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ys-173215.html

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...my-169263.html

    Check them out - they may help.

    Counseling is good, but sometimes you have to find the answer in your own heart. I dislike it when people try to run to therapy and get someone else to tell them how to live their lives... when all they have to do is trust their heart and listen to what they know is the right thing to do. Good luck.

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