me and my boyfriend were dating for just about 2 years when we broke up.
painful experience, tears, screaming, anger, depression, etc. the thing that hurt me the most was that he told his friends that one of the reasons he left me was cuz i wouldnt have sex [18 and a virgin and im pretty damn proud of it.] so he moved on quickly and got with a girl who was "easier" to "talk" to about sex. they had sex - and they were only dating for about two months. they broke up. he calls me up one night. and ever since then he's been trying to make it work for us again...

idk about you people, but i think virginity is a very special thing that you only give to ONE person that you know you'll always love- regardless where life takes you- a special gift- etc.

and if he lost it so quickly to someone he didnt love, what does he have to prove to me that he loves me, when i can offer him that? i feel cheated out of it you know? it sucks knowing that if we ever got back together sex will come up eventually again[we were sexually active, just not all the way] and i know that he cant give me something that means so much to me.

i just might be a psycho for making it such a big deal, but it just makes my skin crawl knowing that he did that to another girl that he didnt even love, when we were together he said he would wait forever until i was ready. i get so very angry at him.

i just dont know what to do, becuz this is stopping me from being with him again. it proves my theory of him dumping me for sex, and that he really didnt care about what i had to say. i just dont think i can be with him after this anymore even tho its the only thing i want most in the world is to be happy with him

people, please take this seriously, i've spent two years of my life with this man, and i love him so very much, and i plan to go to the marines this summer, and i need to know if he's worth coming back home to when i graduate...or if i can go straight overseas and forget all about it..and him..

thanks for reading.

spitvenom

I'm a guy and I don't think you are Psycho. If what he did makes your skin crawl do you think you can ever get past that? Virginity is different to a lot of people and obviously it means a lot to you and that is a great thing. If you can get past that then I say give it another shot but if you can't you are going to be wasting your time. Good Luck in the Marines!!!!!!!

Smoked

If that was his reason, and know wants to get back together what do you think will change? He will still want to have sex and still pressure you. Bottom line.

He got what he wanted out of that relationship and then decided he wanted to come back to the familiar safe relationship he had before. Did he maybe have some remorse, or feelings of loss. Probably that and more. Doesn't change the way thing will be once you let him back. Things will be great for a while and go back to the same..You will probably end up right back where you are today. (maybe)

This is a very true statement but I think its a must that I point out that you mentioned him and you where actually sexually active, "just not all the way". Not trying to be mean here but you must know that you shoot this statements validity down by being sexually active in any way. I think its a common problem today that people (girls a lot of the time) think that if they don't have penitration they are still a virgin. Maybe in the medical sense but virginity is more about purity...

Your feelings are valid. You need to think about what you want in a relationship. Do you want a guy who is going to leave you every time he does not get what he wants sexually or otherwise?

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE

He is not worth getting back with.

You clearly stated that your virginity was precious to you and he obviously didn't repsect that.

sassyT

Hi Lostin.., you are only 18years old so the fact that you broke up with your boyfriend is not the end of the world trust me. I am 26 years old and when i look back at my boyfriend when i was 18 i think to my self, what was i thinking??

The fact that you are a virgin is VERY special. Dont give it up for a jerk off who left you because you valued your body. The guy i lost my virginity to at age 20 was a complete jerk and i wish i had saved my virginity for my now husband.
I am very impressed by your strenthe and ability to stand up for your morals. I admire that about you. I wish i had had the same strenth. I was pressured into doing it for fear of losing him but even after i gave it up he left me anyway. One thing you should know about sex is, it has nothing to do with love. A man does not have sex for love. Men (some women too) have sex for pleasure and fulfilment. They can meat a girl in one day and be in bed with her that night and that is a fact. So don't let this guy fool you into thinking the reason why he wants to have sex with you is because he loves you.If he really loves you he will repect your decision to wait.

So if he wants to work things out just let him know that he can but he must not expect you to give up your virginity. If he says 'no' to that then that means he doesnt really care about you, he is just interested in feeding his male desires.
It is very special thing dont waist it.

hope that helps

Breake

Amen, you are very smart and strong. Im 100% sure you will make the right decision ( you already did) Never lower your standards/values for a partner. It will always come up again. You need someone that respects you as much or more than you do.

HistorianChick

Sweetie, you deserve a man that holds his virginity as the same treasure that you do and there are men like that out there. This man doesn't; therefore, he is not on the same page as you. I agree with Breake, it will come up again. Lowering your standards and rejecting your value system will only bring you disappointment in the future. When you find that special man that you want to give that gift to, you'll know. Don't settle for second best.

Don't ever feel that you are a psycho simply because you are waiting to have sex. And don't EVER settle for anything less than that in a partner...

You deserve the best. He's out there, don't stop looking.

Oh, and good luck in the Marines! Make us proud!

BMI

What he did was dirty. From the sounds of it you can and should wait for a person that you will not have to question whether what you are doing is right.

Breake

And yes, Good Luck in the Marines, And Thank you for your service too.

Chery

Have to spread the ratings again, but totally agree with you dear.

Another thing, maybe one day you will meet a man who is not a virgin, but one who respects and cares enough for you to stop seeing other women and is willing to wait for you because he found that special someone in you. Don't put him down for it and give him a chance to prove how much he cares.. we all deserve a chance or two, and being human, we tend to make a few mistakes on the way to growing and finding out what really is of value to us. But this guy that left you because he could not wait is not worth it, in my opinion - and he certainly has not had enough time to realize how special you are nor has he had time for inner growth.

Bless you for joining the Marines - that's an exclusive military unit that not everybody can graduate in. We all know the world is not perfect and it's too bad that military is necessary, but making that choice certainly shows me you set your goals high and are very special.