I've been with my ex for 4 years. And we have been broke up for 4 months, I can't get her off my mind, I've been keeping busy working and when I'm not at work I do all that I can to keep busy, but she will pop in to my head and stay for a while. Part of me still loves her and the other part hates her. I want her out of my head its driving me nuts and is ruining my relationship with my current girlfriend

Wow, for a second I thought I had posted and didn't remember.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ys-173215.html

She is going to get in your head dude, she is going to pop in when you fight your hardest not to let her. You will have GREAT days and then right before you sleep, or even in your dreams she will pop up.

When it happens, just do what you can to ignore, or think of something else... and when you can't just think on it till something distracts you. You won't even remember a few hours later what you were thinking about, other then it was her. Treat your GF man, take her out make memories with her that will outshine the ones of your ex. Surprise her with a picnic or some other thing she might like.

Just keep doing what your doing man and her memory or thoughts of her, will eventually not hurt so bad, or effect you so much.

Delow84 is right, memories of your ex-girlfriend will come and go but you shouldn't let them consume you (easier said then done). Moreover, I would say that you should concentrate on this new girl and create greater memories with her, but I'm afraid that you are not ready for a relationship. With all due respect I think you should let this new girl go because it's not fair to her that you are unable to put your whole heart into the relationship. You need time to be single so that you can heal and become a better person.

Confused is right, you might have jumped in to soon, best person to talk about all this would be your girl. Talk to her, let her know your still hurting a bit emotionally, etc... hey who knows maybe she will say "when she starts to cross your mind tell me, and ill make your forget"

Talk to your girlfriend, see what happens from there. If you guys stay together then make her tha happiest girl you know, do little things big things, anything. And when she smiles cause she is happy... an old memory of someone hurting you just can't win out over that.

Good evening kr632,
I know this feeling you speak of and we all understand that type of feeling. But as painful as those thoughts of her are, try to remember what you had for 4 years, those memories are the ones I refer to. It's only been four months and you are doing pretty good, give yourself a little break.

I think one of the key things you need to do is to place a memory, you suddenly get, some place safe in your heart. A place all those wonderful memories of you and her go, for safe keeping. If you can do that I think you can better manage the days in which you think, all you are doing is thinking of her. Once you have been able to do that, the good that you liked about her, will forever be safe and untouched until your ready to think about them one day.

Our memories can be a double edged sword, and right now I think you are getting the sharp side of that sword too often, and you need a break.

If anything try to manage the bad thoughts and anger you have towards her because those tend to be the ones that cause us more pain, build up resentment, builds a desire in us to stand and fight for our spirit and so on.

Breaking up is never as easy or clean as we hope to make them. Most of the time it's still one person doing the breaking, and the other one receiving the news. It's impossible to rid her of your mind completely but you can take control of those thoughts and give them as much value as you think they are worth.

For me (I'm a girl) I keep a memory box. It's right underneath my bed. Every once in a while I pull it out. When I go through it I still cry, but I also smile. My past is in that box and until recently my future was also in that box.

Loving someday and giving it all that you have, doesn't deserve the energy it takes to point blame, It's over. It deserves to give you a break and help you learn something from it so you can come out swinging, stronger and better for it.

But that's up to you my sad friend. This is the story of your life, do you get through this setback in this manner? Or do you take control, smile through the tears, aching memories and anger? Do you chose to cherish that memory and not let it beat you down in a sad defeat?

Good luck to you...

If that fails, try turning this song up, full blast in your car or home, when you start to get weak thinking of them. I do this and I feel great. As a girl can tell you there is nothing more refreshing than picking a song like this and dancing on top of our beds, with our hairbrush mics, singing at the top of our lungs. (regardless of age)

Just give it the old college try, just sing your heart out, roll your windows down (forget the outside temps) and sing your heart out! The key is full blast, hold back nothing. What do you have to lose, besides a sore throat maybe?

Over You
Chris Daughtry

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,

I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.