my boyfriend cheated on me with a young girl but i cant forgive him and i cant get over it please help

kellyandben1234

thanks i love him so much but i cant forgive him at all i cant get it out of my head

kellyandben1234

thanks

XenoSapien

Then Kelly, dear, you are asking for him to do it again. As nicespringgirl and bmi and ash123 point out, dump him cause it will happen again. You are of course, free to choose, but I gamble that these opinions are correct.

Stay with him, and the fear that he will do it to you again will remain. Dump him, and the fear leaves. There are 300 million people in this country. It's safe too say that 25% are available, and half that number are actually men who will be good to you. The choice is yours to make.

XenoSapien

Crista

RightO MAn!!! I appreciate the men out there that vowed to never cheat when their in a relationship!!

Crista

I made a mistake of trusting someone I didn't truly know right off the bat and I aloud him to hurt me, but I didn't get the thought of forgiving him ever. I was so angry that he showed his true colors, "yellow back". He didn't dare show his face again.

XenoSapien

Right on back at ya', Crista...There's a 50 plus percent divorce rate going on in our country, and the biggest reason is because people can't be loyal to the "supposed" one that they love. It makes me sick, and that is why I am proud of myself of not being a part of that crowd.

If someone truly loves someone, why cheat when you can more easily tell them that it's over? Cheating is a cowards' way out; much is the same as being a liar. Just say you don't want to be with them any more; don't be a pile of dirt and cheat on them.

XenoSapien

Spontaneouslemon

When you say he cheated on you, do you mean he was with this girl constantly, and dated her at the same time? Or he kissed her, and they had a "moment"?
Although they are both unfair, they are very different.
Also, where are you in your relationship? Have you been together for a while? All of this information could help a ton.
But as a general idea, people make mistakes. It all depends on how exactly he cheated on you, so I can't really say. But you say you can't stop thinking about him, and you're not ready to move on?
Then, I want to say that you should work on it. It is a pretty difficult thing for certain people to be with one person. Especially if they start feeling strongly about someone else.
Try to think about it. If you started to be very attracted to a man, and you very much wanted something to happen. It would definitely take a lot of will-power not to let anything happen, even if you love your boyfriend, there is a temptation.
Of course, the right thing to do is to walk away, but some people have a difficult time doing that.
So, it's difficult to say given that you haven't shared that much information about your relationship. But if he clearly respects you, and loves you, then you can give him another chance. But don't take this incident as an opportunity to be overprotective about what he does, or he may do it again. Tell him that it will take a little time for you to trust him again, but eventually you will, and you trust he won't do it again.
Trust, is a crucial part of your relationship.
However, only you can really tell if you can give him this second chance. Really look into it, and watch if you're not brainwashing yourself into believing he can be different, when there are obvious signs he can't.
Of course, I say all of this if his encounter with this girl wasn't serious, and he wasn't DATING her, and actually SEEING her constantly.
If this is the case. I find it difficult to genuinely believe that he respects you and your relationship.
If he has the guts to lead a double relationship, then he can do many other dishonest things, which can eventually (if not already) become a habit.
So if this is the case, you need to leave him. This is just gonna be one of those difficult moments of your life you're just gonna have to surpass.

Ash123

PLEASE READ THIS. IT MAY GIVE YOU SOME PERSPECTIVE:

I have known of a few guys who cheated...

One specific story:

One guy (a policeman) cheated on his wife...and she divorced him.

Then he cheated on his new fiancee! But she didn't leave. Why?
She "loved him" and she knew "their love could overcome anything". He was loyal for about 11 more months and then slept with a girl at his work.
The fiancee was now his wife. And she refused to believe it when she heard the rumors....She forgave him again.
She later ran into one of his mistresses leaving a note on his car.....She finally filed for divorce.

When is cheating ok? Well, not really ever, but if a couple has broken up or has been disagreeing or growing apart and someone makes a big mistake and explains themselves then...maybe....

how old are you anyway? this may not be the man you will marry! (luckily)

Is he worth risking your life, sanity and reputation on?

Guest

What are u stupid or really that hard up for someone.You must really think low of yourself 2 keep a loser. If he had the same amount of love or either respect for u he want not have cheated on u. You sound like u might have low esteen or u really think the world of him. Let the dog go because u will live a world of heart ache. Go out wit ur friends and find someone new. A real man will not cheat and if he loved u would not want 2 see u hurt. I wish I knew u cuz I would set u up with a good guy and then have 1 of my male friend whip his a**. Remember can love someone but love ur self more. When u look at ur self in the mirror ask yourself if he deserve u.

nickshehe

I think a little background information would be more useful before taking a decision..

How old are the both of you?

How long were you together?

Did he come up front and admit to cheating on you / or did he get caught?