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    Dave605's Avatar
    Dave605 Posts: 14, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Nov 5, 2009, 09:29 PM
    I can't decide between two women I like. Maybe you can.
    Hey guys, I don't want to make this super long because I know you won't read it. So I'll cut straight to the chase. I'll list them as Girl A and Girl B to keep their identity private.

    There is two girls I like. Girl A I met a few weeks ago, I kind of helped her out of a bad relationship and apparently she fell for me during that time. I was just trying to be a friend but it seems she thinks its developed into more than that during that time. I kind of like her too but its only been a few weeks so I can't exactly say I'm head over heels for her yet.

    The other girl. Girl B. Is my ex from about 6 months ago. We broke up because we had poor communication between each other and we were drifting apart. So I made it easier on both of us and just ended the relationship early. I hadn't talked to her in 6 months but all of a sudden she comes back. Texts me and calls me and we start talking again.

    Just a few days after girl A telling me she wanted to get into a relationship. Girl B tells me she wants to get back into a relationship with me. Now I've got problems on my plate and I can't decide. I told them both lets just be friends because, to be honest I felt un attatched to both of them and didn't want to hurt anyone. Telling them if we just were friends seemed to make it worse. So I'm back where I started basically.

    I'll list some pros and cons of each girl. I'm 18 by the way.


    Girl A:
    I've known her for a couple of weeks
    She's 18
    No kids
    Sweet,kind and caring and seems really genuine. I've told her if I was ugly if she would still like me. She said it was all about personality which she is attracted to mine. So looks is just a bonus
    Never been engaged or anything

    Girl B:
    Ex from about 6 months ago(we only lasted like a month anyway)
    She's 22
    Has a kid
    She says she really cares for me but I'm not sold on that. She wants me to let her love me again and all that jazz.
    Used to be a stripper(lol I know)
    Has been engaged before and almost married
    She's told me straight up. If I was ugly or a fence post. She wouldn't be going out with me. She doesn't want to be embarresed with someone in public.. all my friends tell me this girl is a beeyotch. She calls herself one too sometimes. I already know but I still can't just ignore her for some reason. Maybe I'm thinking about like.. what if?

    I know I should probably pick girl A because girl B has a kid. I'd have to change my life around and help be a dad for a kid that's not even mine but its not even that big a deal to me really. I know I could be a good father figure to him. Maybe I'm too young to get into the mess with the girl that is 22 though. She does seem like she's experienced a lot more stuff than I have. Like being engaged, and some other stuff that isn't that great.. to bring home to mamma.
    Just Dahlia's Avatar
    Just Dahlia Posts: 2,155, Reputation: 445
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    #2

    Nov 5, 2009, 10:05 PM
    Girl 'A' please, or just go find another girl! You need to date around, your young and the child will make you feel committed.:)

    I was going for 'A' before I read the bottom post:cool:
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #3

    Nov 5, 2009, 10:08 PM

    One key element was missing in this scenario... who do you love?
    Who are you willing to accept.. AS IS ?
    ITstudent2006's Avatar
    ITstudent2006 Posts: 2,243, Reputation: 329
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    #4

    Nov 5, 2009, 10:47 PM

    BY the little quirky comments you kept slipping in there about Girl B. I have a feeling you already know who you want. (GIRL A if you're confused)!

    To be honest I don't want to decide because I think you're leaning one way over the other therefor being biast in your PRO/CON list. You made GIRL B look bad bro, so I think you know who you want!

    Good Luck!

    RICK
    Dave605's Avatar
    Dave605 Posts: 14, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Nov 5, 2009, 10:48 PM

    Everything stated is what they told me. No assumptions made. I really do think I should go with girl A. Girl B just sounds.. really exciting. At the same time though. Do I really want to be ready to help father a kid so young.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Nov 5, 2009, 10:52 PM
    Harshness Alert

    Show me someone that has to have an exclusive relationship after a few months, I will show you an very needy insecure person.

    When you can't make up your mind, just date, and have fun, and make no promises. But be honest.

    I say it all the time:

    Date them all, fat, short, skinny, or tall, 18-80, blind cripple, or crazy.

    Expand your circle of potential dates and stay free to do so. If you take your time and look around, you will have better options than an ex, that it didn't work with, or someone you don't feel that strongly about. Why choose A, or B, when C is next??
    ITstudent2006's Avatar
    ITstudent2006 Posts: 2,243, Reputation: 329
    Networking Expert
     
    #7

    Nov 5, 2009, 10:56 PM

    I can't say much that wasn't said above but I can say that you need to be 100% sure when you do decide. That's only fair to yourself and to the girls. BOTH A & B and little B too (the kid, if you didn't get it)

    RIck
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #8

    Nov 5, 2009, 10:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Harshness Alert

    Show me someone that has to have an exclusive relationship after a few months, I will show you an very needy insecure person.

    When you can't make up your mind, just date, and have fun, and make no promises. But be honest.

    I say it all the time:

    Date them all, fat, short, skinny, or tall, 18-80, blind cripple, or crazy.

    Expand your circle of potential dares and stay free to do so. If you take your time and look around, you will have better options than an ex, that it didn't work with, or someone you don't feel that strongly about. Why choose A, or B, when C is next??

    Said like a true PLAYEER :cool:
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Nov 5, 2009, 11:03 PM
    Not a player, just a totally honest fun loving guy!:D
    Dave605's Avatar
    Dave605 Posts: 14, Reputation: 2
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    #10

    Nov 5, 2009, 11:03 PM
    Yea I don't know if that really helped lol. You basically said date both and be a player lol.
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #11

    Nov 5, 2009, 11:45 PM

    Um, I vote for girl A too.

    But I think talaniman makes a very important point. Dating around is a good idea. Not just for you, for her too. If you just helped her get out of a bad relationship, she needs to take some time for herself to heel before she starts another relationship.

    Girl B might be fun for a little while, but, she sounds like a girl who's just that. Fun for a little while and then it's over.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #12

    Nov 6, 2009, 12:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave605 View Post
    Yea i dunno if that really helped lol. You basically said date both and be a player lol.
    The point is to have FUN!! :);):p
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #13

    Nov 6, 2009, 02:10 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Not a player, just a totally honest fun loving guy!:D
    Oh Don't I know how cool you are. Yo da man :cool:
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #14

    Nov 6, 2009, 02:31 AM
    Dude, you're 18. Have fun while you are young. YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T.

    Besides, you're probably not going to be happy until you find girl Z.

    But keep in mind to be respecful of the female sex. Don't play games, and treat them all like ladies. Most importantly single mothers. They don't have the time or energy to be played.

    As far as the choice between A and B, you've already made up your mind. That's why you candy-coated your choice. However, you are her rebound guy, so watch out.

    Just be a good man, and you will be happy.
    Dave605's Avatar
    Dave605 Posts: 14, Reputation: 2
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    #15

    Nov 6, 2009, 03:31 AM

    Candy coated my choice. I was trying to lay out each girl and their very wide difference. The first girl I don't know much about. How else am I supposed to describe her. The second girl was my Ex, so obviously I know about her. Gimme a break! :(
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #16

    Nov 6, 2009, 04:09 AM
    [QUOTE=talaniman;2070695]Not a player, just a totally honest fun loving guy!:D[/QUO

    I know that ,I hope you know when I'm picking on you :rolleyes:
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #17

    Nov 6, 2009, 04:10 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave605 View Post
    Candy coated my choice. I was trying to lay out each girl and their very wide difference. The first girl i dont know much about. How else am i supposed to describe her. The second girl was my Ex, so obviously i know about her. Gimme a break! :(
    Hey, I wasn't giving you a hard time.

    Just an observation.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #18

    Nov 6, 2009, 04:19 AM

    You ask for advice you get our opinions-you re young,enjoy life and don't overthink things.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #19

    Nov 6, 2009, 04:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave605 View Post
    Candy coated my choice. I was trying to lay out each girl and their very wide difference. The first girl i dont know much about. How else am i supposed to describe her. The second girl was my Ex, so obviously i know about her. Gimme a break! :(
    The bottom line is you FEEL something.
    If you don't It's because there is nothing there!!
    Try this,dig deep and feel and if you can't than do everyone a favor and be by yourself!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #20

    Nov 6, 2009, 06:20 AM

    Originally Posted by Dave605
    Yea i dunno if that really helped lol. You basically said date both and be a player lol.
    Naw, a player doesn't care about anything but his needs, but dating more than one at a time, and being honest and upfront about it is being single, and enjoying it.

    Enough people around here go through these committed gf/bf things that start to fast, and they get so attached, that when the lust wears off all that's left is a mess. Dating is not a commitment. Its supposed to be fun getting to know each other.

    Then you can be friends, and see if there is more than lust. Just be upfront, and honest about it, and if they can't hang with that, what would be the point any way?

    Sex and lust changes they way people see their partners, and I have seen many get so attached to fast, only to crash and burn, because they skipped ahead to the kissy face stuff, before they even knew what they were getting into.

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