I just need someone to listen to me ....


I cry day and night .... and I can't hold it any longer ....


You know those police movies ....when a cop work under cover to get some information and data from some one ... in order to do this he has to live with them and be one of them ...... then he get in love with this family ,... and can't do his business any more ....

and he will be between tow fires ....... TWO FIRES ..... the fire of his job losing ,.... and the FIRE of being a liar to someone as pure as rain drops ....... and you cant say any word to him ... because you know deep inside that you are a LAIR .......


I am like this PERSON .....
I lied to someone ..... to make fun of him ...... BUT NOW I am becoming his best friend ..... and he is everything to me ....... I never imagined that it will be like this ....

its a dirty game I played .... and now I am regretting everyday passes by .. I tell a lie to that person .... I AM SORRY ....... I never meant it to be like this .....

I loved you like a true friend ....and ONLY god knows about it ..... and I can't face you with the truth ... because I am afraid if I lose you ....


it has been now ONE year and a half ..... we are friends ... but he doesn't know who the real am I ????

And we spend nights chatting and having fun ..... but as soon as he is gone ... I feel like a f(&(* as^%$# ..... I DESERVE TO DIE ..... he is sooo good .... and I betrayed him ....

I can't say the truth .... I can't tell anyone about this ..... its only me , him , my friend and my niece........ and now you people ... here in the forum .... I need someone to listen to me ... I have been tortured everyday .... keeping this all inside .... I can't bear it anymore .... and I am getting deeper and deeper in this s*&(* !!!!


PLEAS GOD SAVE ME ..... ITS KILLLING ME ..... EVERYWHERE I GO ... I THINK OF THIS AND I BECOME SAD ....AND I HOLD MY TEARS .... BUT I CAN'T PRETEND I AM HAPPY ..... EVERY ONE AROUND ME KNOWS THAT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG .....I am not as I used to be..... funny and happy ...... I am changing ....

by telling you that ... I feel much more better .... at least there is someone share it with me now.....

Spranza

PEOPLE .... you are missing the real lair here..... ITS ME...


I know him ... I talked to his sisters..... his friends..... he is not lying ... if I have doubts that he is lying .... then I wont waste my time everyday thinking of him ... and crying ....


any way .... thanx K_3.... I wish if he is a liar..... that will be a relief

Spranza

I AM SO SORRY BREAK!!!!! I KNOW I DON'T DESERVE THE AIR I BREATH!!!


But I have a believe........

I have a believe that I was sent to him by God..... I am there in his email for a purpose.... and its HOLLY ... no one knows it but God!....

but I believe its for the good of both of us !

starbuck8

I don't think you are so worried about him here! You sound more concerned with yourself, and how YOU would feel. This is a virtual internet friendship!

Read all of your "I's"
-- 'I' can't tell him 'I' lied (he may have a heart attack?)
-- 'I' deformed his principles
-- 'I'll' be a curse on him
-- 'I' am a liar
-- 'I' just almost died
-- 'I' was crying --hurt ME like hell
-- 'I won't bear it
-- 'I' should pay for it
-- 'I' would die
-- 'I won't be able to absorb
-- 'I' usually talk to

Now read the things you said about "him"
-- 'He' might live with a scar for the rest of his life
-- 'He' might have a heart attack
-- 'Friendship to him is like God??????
-- 'EVERYTHING' in my life
-- 'MY' best friend (if he yells at ME, I would die)

Do you REALLY think that he thinks the world revolves around you? He would have a heart attack if he found out? Comparing your friendship to that of God??

Those are all pretty arrogant statements. Do you really think you have that much power over someone you've met on the internet? I really doubt that HIS world revolves around YOU.

I think you need to spend more time off of your computer, and talking to "real" people that you can see and touch...not on a webcam!

Go out and meet yourself some real flesh and blood people, and stop being so loyal to the virtual guy!

You're living in the virtual dream world!

Spranza

Yeah .. you are right ..... I concern about myself more ..... well .... it was I who lied at the first place .... it was I who made up the whole stupid #$%^ story !!!....

and at the end .... it should be "I" who must regret it .....

and I don't think that his world revolves around me .... but I talked to that guy ... and I know how much I mean to him.... he got over than 100 contacts on his email... I SAW IT BY MY OWN EYES!!!! .... and he goes online just to talk to me .....

and he keeps telling me that I am his BEST friend and the only one who can understand him better ..... he told me about his friends and how they betrayed him ... and how he felt about it .... it was awful

This virtual world has more meaning than the real one .... for me
and lots of people get to know each other by this virtual world ..... and some even got married !!! I heard lots and lots of stories ....

and mine became a tragic one among them ....

even if its virtual ....as long as it can affect your life and your feelings then its as real as the real world!!

I shouldn't lie to someone !! ... Its feelings ... they are real !!

I JUST FEEL SO BAD!! ...

P.S
We didn't chat by cam ...nor by phone ....ONLY MSN .....

talaniman

You are way to emotionally, and physically, invested into this fantasy world, to make any realistic decisions. For your sake turn off the computer, and seek a real person, preferably a professional to talk to, and get back to the real world of real people. Please, I beg you.

starbuck8

I believe you that you feel bad. But bad enough to tell him the truth? If you want to keep on lying to him, that is your own choice! Is it going to make you feel better? Probably not. Are you missing out on a 'normal' relationship? Probably so. Will your virtual friendship last long? Probably not. Are you living a fantasy? Probably so.

Give the magic 8 ball a shake and see what it has to say.

ampersandra

Tell him the truth. This is YOUR responsibility. You want to fix things and the way to do it is to tell the truth. What else can you really do? If you can offer an alternative, tell me.

However, just because you are telling the truth does not mean he will forgive you. YOUR responsibility is YOURS. The result is HIS choice, whether you like it or not. You'll have to accept it. At least you will know that you actually DID something right, finally.

K_3

Very well put talaniman

K_3

When you say you "talk" to these friends and relatives of this guy, is it "talking" with your voice or is it emailing?
Yes, there are friends who marry somone they met on the net, some success stories. There are many many stories of scams, lies, deceit. I am not saying this is true with him. If you were to ask him he would probably say you were honest.
I agree that you are far too involved with a fantasy world. Talking on the net, meeting people on line is not a bad thing, as long as you keep it in perspective. Until you see someone face to face, spend some time with that person, observe their actions and reactions, you do not know that person. In an online relationship you only know what that person wants you to know. I knew a guy that pretended to be a woman.

Your emotions are way out there on this. You need to tell him the truth and let this be a lesson to you. Lies will always come back and bite you in the end. He may be upset, but who knows he may understand. He may have several emails, several "best friends" that he has given his password to in order to prove his honesty. If not, life is about forgiving, his reaction will tell you something about him.

You really need to get a grip on real life. Please go find a friend or family member and give them a hug, you need a real life reality check.

Spranza

Ok guys .....

So .. I assume its the last and the only sulotion




even if that means I will lose him forever .....................

truth means end of this wonderful freindship ............... it means Goodbye forever ......

Its soo hard to lose a friend like him ..... he is sooo REAR!! and unique....

if you were in my shoes you will know how hard it will be to say the words "I lied to you!"

I just wanted to be next to him ... and give him any kind of help he needs ... I would do anything he wants ...... He is my BEST friend EVER!!!

but doing this will be hard for both of us ....
he will be shoked and hurt.... and I will be left alone !

But its the right thing to do ...... Since I can't bear it any more... he is a great person! and I can't do this to him ... I cry whenever he crosses my mind... because I feel sorry .. and I can't say I am so sorry ...


BUT I CAN'T DO IT...... its just...... omg

Ok.... let me at least make it up to him .... I want to do something good to him ... so when he know about it he will say.. I didn't waste my time ...at least I got that thing out of the whole crap!

but I don't know how to make it up to him .... !?