Basically me and my now ex girlfriend went out for 6 months, and one time after arguing with her sister and mum, we broke up for no apparent reason, afterwards she would ring and text me, and say that i deserved better etc.

After she spoke to her friends they told her that she was the happist shes ever been with me, and her mum thought she may have depression so we decided to give it another shot, we met up had a chat everything was fine, carrying on texting like nothing happened, made it official we were back together

I seen her last wednesday she cooked me food over at hers and we just did the usual cuddling and whatever else and i left she text me and said she was glad i enjoyed the food, she enjoyed making it and she was happy that we were happy again,

she then text me the following day saying did you know, you have the best cwtches ( cuddles) and I asked her why? and she said " I dunno i just know im safe its so comfy and I love sleeping with you. what we doing this weekend? "

so as she has been haviing a lot of arguments with her mum and sister lately i decided it would be a good idea to take her away from it all and take her to stay in my student house in cardiff, which she got very excited about, and then she text me to say we'd been together six months and I text back saying quick run away,

To which she replied " no running nowhere except cardiff with me xxxx"

she then text me the following day making sure i wanted to go to cardiff and didnt think i had to and she said it will be fun, and she also said " id love to go up for the weekend, come bk sunday and relax in mine monday"

Later that night she went to see her friend who had recently had a baby after a while they decided to leave the baby with her mum so they could have a drink and a catch up, at first she didnt know if she'd be able to make it as she wouldnt have had a lift so to make it easier for her i offered to give her a lift, i text her throughout, asked if she was enjoying to which she replied " yeah cant wait to see you"

Seeing as we just got back i text her asking does she think shes done the right thing and she said yeah ofcourse why?" and i replied and said how do you know, and she said " cos i love you dont you?" to which i replied of course i do

So time went by she text me and asked me to pick her up so i went there to pick her up, i dropped her off she text saying " im happy love you" and then she said " ur fit cant wait to see u, weird thought my sex drive had hone but oomph your hot" asked why it had gone and she said " worrying stress with leah, upset cos i was being mean 2 u"

So then it came to friday the day we were going to Cardiff she woke up text me and we had normal pointless texts then we planned to go to tesco to get food for the weekend, then i went and got her we were getting food then all of a sudden she said I dont know if I want to go now, so I said its ok if she doesnt wanna go we dont have to, then we got the car and she said she didnt wanna be with me anymore.

So I dropped her home and left it at that, and then recieved a text which said " im sorry but its easier for us both if we dont talk for a while sorry" which i left then i got another text which said " really sorry i heart uo, you dont deserve it your worth a million of me, i know you;ll be happy and ive made the right decision, take care"

So i just left it at that then I was over my friends and she text me asking if I was okay, and then I had another texting saying " I know getting over me is getting on with it but going to town and getting slaughtered isnt really the idea" but i said i wasnt even in town and her friend made a mistake

Then she phoned me crying saying that nobody will go out for her birthday I sat down talked to her and calmed her down, and then in the morning I had a text which said " thans for talking to me last night, you didnt have to give me the time of day", which i said was fine, she then rung me spoke to me as if nothing had happened, but ended the conversation by saying ive got to go now, got to keep myself busy.

She later that day text me pointless texts about spraying hairspray all over herself, she then phoned me to see if I was going out in the night which I wasnt and I heard nothing till she text me saying im not going out tomorrow babe.

Then she text saying " dontwanna im going to go out tonight instead even though i dont feel like it" so I asked why? which the reply was " get out the house i feel like .

She then text me later on in the day asking if I was ok, which i replied to saying I was ok-ish, you? which she said " not really u sound good told you youd be happy", and I said Ive had enough of putting on a brave face Im not ok i miss you like crazy and she said thats normal I do too and then she told me she had to make her mum hide her phone so she didnt text me. which i didnt reply too and got the same text again

She then rung me worrying because her friend hadnt phoned her about going out and she thought she was going to be left out but I said dont worry she'll contact you and itll be fine, low and behold her friend contacted her and she text me saying " kirst did txt me i punched myself in the face on your behalf for worrying speak to you soon"

So i just left it made no contact and then when she was out I had a texting saying " miss you" so i replied and said miss you too hows your night? to which she replied ok, then she asked what was i doing and then she said miss you again, then she asked me to come see her later which i agreed too, and she was telling me if shes slow texting back its because theres no signal which i already knew.

Then I had been on msn earlier on and spoke to her sister and her sister must have text her and told her to which i had a text saying msn? ! and then she said i was on msn when i hadnt but had been earlier which I had explained but didnt see the big deal as she wasnt my girlfriend

She text me to say she was going home so i text her and said do you still want me to see you, so she said for me to pick her up from her mates house which is like 5 mintues away from hers, So i got there picked her up and everything was fine we were chatting it was all normal and she told me some guy we know came onto her and asked wheres your boyfriend and she said hes not out tonight, which is a weird respone if you ask me, but we carried on talking and I said I dont know whats going on, and she said what? I said as in us, and she said I just want to be friends, and you could see her eyes filling up but i said you say you miss me and whatever and she said I do, then I dropped her off and hugged her but it wasnt a normal friendly hug she ran her hands all over my back as if we were still together, she then got upset and went.

Sorry if this is long winded but needed to get it all across, I just dont know what to do, i have no real reason why we finished, and if she texts do i text back? do I ignore her?

I really dont know what do its all so confusing, I know she has a lot going on family wise, but do i just give her space and run the risk of her thinking I dont care, theres so many thought running through my head atm

Well basically theres another twist to this whole saga, basically yesterday to get me out of the house my dad gave me money to go to the gym and put petrol in my car, so I wrote on my facebook that I was going to the gym.

I went to the gym none the wiser but while i was there she was speaking to my sister on MSN, asking where I was apparently to just check I was ok, I came home found this out thought nothing of it and went back out just to clear my head and keep busy.

While I was out she continued to talk to my sister, she asked her if I was home yet? If she knew where I was? My sister told her she didnt know and asked why she wanted to know and she said she wanted to speak to me, My sister said she would text me for me to ring her, but my ex said nah its fine ill let him enjoy whatever he's doing.

Then my sister said I'll text him he wont mind, so my ex said just ask where he is cos if hes busy ill leave him be til later, so my sister text and told me to ring her and told my ex, after a while i hadnt rung so my sister asked had I,

So my ex said no give him a chance, So after a bit I rung her asked what she wanted, she said nothing and I said well my sister told me to ring you so must be something, and she said she couldnt understand how I can afford to do what im doing blah de blah, and I said my dad had paid and whatever else she became funny and put the phone down, I rang her back it happened again, I rang her back a 3rd time said look this is why I did this, and she said ok so I said ok ill speak to you soon and she just put the phone down

l8onjones

She said to my sister he rung me he didnt wanna talk to me, my sister said he does he loves you, my ex then said he doesnt want to talk to me , My sister asked how she knew and my ex replied he said what do youu want? i said nothing really just want talk 2 you and he was lk oh well im out it doesn matter i dont blame him, when i said nothing to that effect, Then I got a text off my ex saying text me when your home please.

So I did and she said forget it, so I was like forget what? and she said you've been out on your own till now? and I said yeah why? she said lying. i dont care just was going to ask you to meet me to give your stuff back but never mind, I said why are you giving it back? She said I dont want it, So I didnt text back didnt see much point, then about 10-15 mins later I got a text saying why are you ignoring me I said im not am i? so she said well when then, I said theres nothing to give back really and she said hoody and tshirt, I said its pointless I dont want them do what you want with them, she said nah I want you to have them back so when? I said whenever im free most days and she said ok ill let you know.

So while all that was going on she was still talking to my sister on MSN and my sister had asked why doesnt she miss me? and my ex replied I do! he doesnt care about me anymore were just friends now,

Then my ex rung me and said if your sister tells you to ring me dont, balh de blah so I said ok and we got talking and she said look if you want to talk go on msn so I did, we were hardly speaking on there, just little bits, then my sister added us into a conversation with her , me and my sis said hi and my ex didnt, I said she wont shes boring messing around and she kept leaving the conversation, so my sister said he didnt mean it he was being a mong and my ex said its not that I miss him, and I said im going off msn can I ring you before bed she said ok

So I got off msn then had a text off her saying I have got depression and I said I;ll help you through it if you want, she said its not fair on you, I said you have no choice im helping you, and she said i dont want to be skinny no more and things like that and then she rang me all upset and I calmed her down and told her shes beautiful the way she is and its the way shes meant to be most people would kill for her figure etc, she was getting upset and said im going now so i said not till you stop crying which she did, then I said ok text me in the morning.

Before bed I text her and i text her and said night night sweet dream Dont be upset dont be down, you deserve nothing but happiness, walk around with your held up high and realise how beautiful you are inside and out, no more tears nothing is worth your tears and i mean nothing she text me back then saying when she was out on the weekend she over heard guys talking about the gym they looked at her and said bet the only running she does it to the toilet and they were laughing an she doesnt wanna look ill, it killed her, so I text her back and said Dont be upset dont be down, you deserve nothing but happiness, walk around with your held up high and realise how beautiful you are inside and out, no more tears nothing is worth your tears and i mean nothing.

So I said Fuk em babe honestly what gives them the right to pass judgement you dont look ill at all you look gorgeous, dont let what two idiots say drag you down, you are the way you are, people will pick holes in people because their jealous simple as, they think their better but the thing is that their just insecure so they try and make other people feel worse they arent worth your thoughts babe, honestly you gorgeous and sexy i mean that and everyone i showed your picture too said you were beautiful gorgeous and sex so two idiots mean nothing

So this morning she text saying Thank you for trying to help last night, im sure ill be okay, im gonna stop bothering you though its not fair ill never get over you if i cant look after myself, so i said do you really want to get over me? and she said I have to and I said why and she said got to learn to look after myself and I said you do but she said ive still got you to fall back on and its not helping because i need to do things on my own, I said you do your an independant person.

She text back saying do something for my sake dont text me back and dont text me til thursday. I need to cope on my own 4 a bit then we can be friend ok. work now speak to you then. xx



She text me saying forget what i said talk to me so I said you ok?
she said yeah missing you today been talking about you saying your fab and understanding, wot you doing?.

I text back told her what I was doing, she said I tried sending that message about 4 times it wouldnt work and now ive gotta go back to work and that'll she'll text me break time

what the hell am i supposed to think?

his whole situation starts getting more and more weird, she was texting me about work and the summer and stuff, and she said she may go somewhere and do charity work in africa, I said sounds good will be rewarding but hard work, she said. she said sounds like a plan to me, so I didnt text back she text and asked what I was doing and I said gonna go for a jog and she flipped, she said why for pulling power? and I said nah a few days before we broke up i started going to the gym you know that, she knew i was unhappy with my body and encouraged me to go to the gym and she just text back saying whatever.

And i forgot to mention the other day the girl i was meeting before i got with my now ex, wrote on my facebook and she lost it and said she was going to delete me off there but didnt end up doing it
just all doesnt make sense

Theres more from the never ending saga, she text me to find out what I was doing, so I said I was going jogging, and She said Why for pulling power? and I said nah my mates made me a fitness programme and I want to see if it works.

Her reply to that was funny how you didnt do anything til we broke up, even though id gone to the gym the tuesday before we had broken up, i told her that and her response was simply whatever!

She then text me to see where I was I text back and no answer so after about an hour I tried again nothing , So i tried ringing nothing, then I had a text," Make the hurt go away ok? poof goned im lush"
So I asked her What hurt?, To which her reply was your being lush and were not together you never did it before you didnt care enough, now your trying to pull, so she then rang and I asked why she text to say where was I then didnt answer, so she went off on one saying she didnt need to know blah de blah.

So she put the phone down that was then followed by a text saying I only ask so if your with a girl you can say, Then she rung me to aplogise for being off spoke to me for ages about her hair dying stuff, she went to do it and that was that, we text each other normally for a bit, she then asked if I knew a cheap hotel she could stay in,I told her a few and then said as my house in Cardiff is empty I can give her the keys and shes more than welcome to stay there.

She said it would be odd staying there on her own, I said I would offer to come with you but I guess thats not an option, she said you could but it would mess with your head, i left it to her to decide, So i thought that was that for the night, but while I was on the phone to a long time friend she rang, So I answered she asked who I was on the phone too I told her, My mate Nicky ( a boy) and she said your girlfriend? I just said nope as she knows who nicky is, anyway we carried on talking and then she said she'd ring me back, but inbetween my mate ben had rung, and while I was on the phone to him she tried ringing again.

So I rung her back her first question was who were you on the phone too I said Ben she said Im going to bed now n, and the phone went dead So I rang back said whats that all about, she said Im gonna delete your number theres no point, you dont ring me anymore, you dont text me, when i text you, you take like 8 hours to text back, I said yeah I just dunno what to do.

So her reply again was whatever, so i thought id text to say goodnight, and this morning i got a text saying whatever, so i said whats the matter to which the reply was " I dont believe a word you say, I dont think you care anymore and im not going to sit around a breaking my heart when your loving how much im hurting, I said well your wrong i care more than ever i didnt know what you wanted me to do, I didnt know whether you wanted me to text or not or whatever. Why are you breaking your heart? I'm not loving to see you hurting at all. i didnt even know you were hurting, the last thing i want is that and you know that.

To which her reply was, you do your not doing anythin you used to do, you just leave me cry your making me hate you, so i said when are you crying? I have never left you cry i think sunday showed that? and what did i used to do? and she said " ring me back, text me back straight away, you dont ring or text back you take hours to reply to anything and everytime i do ring or text your on the phone or out youve changed so much and I dont even wanna be around anymore it hurts so much and your rubbing everyhing in my face gym running, thats not you i dont like you the way you are now.

So i asked why dont you want to be around anymore? What do you mean you dont' like the way I am now? and How's it not me?
She replied with i love the way you used to be, the boy you were before you changed, youd not wash your stuff and youd be messy and eat junk and watch eastenders and stay in with me and text me straight away, i dont like the new you, I said the simple answer to that is I love you and then she said ps im sleeping in my car tonight because mum said he cant stay ( her sisters boyfriend) which all the arguements between her and her mum have been over,because her sister is only 16 and she feels uncomfortable with it

I wish

Oh man, not sure if you finsihed what you wanted to say... but I think your situation is a less complicated than you think.

From the first part of your story, it's clear that she likes you a lot, but your relationship has been going downhill. She says that you changed a lot... I'm not sure if you changed a lot in the 6 months you were together or that your true colors started showing when you got confortable with her.

You guys probably didn't know each other well enough in the begining so she had this perfect image of you. Once she got to know you better, she realized that you're not that person.

Sounds like she's looking for more excitement in a relationship. She's given you so many chances by texting you so often even though she says she wants a break. Sounds like she wanted you to do something major to save the relationship. But you didn't do anything. Now it sounds like she wants to move on with her life and move past you.

It's never easy to break up, so at first, she will still look for you, because you cannot cut each other out just like that. But it sounds like she will look for you less and less.

You gotta make up your mind. Do you want a second chance with her? If you do, then do something about it. Right now you're just sitting back and waiting for her to make the moves. You gotta take initiative and step up with something major.

However, she sounds very unstable and I'm not sure you want to stay with her. I think that most people here will tell you to find someone else. But the choice is yours.

l8onjones

She thinks I have changed after the break up not during the relationship she said the relationship was perfect, but how can I throw some excitement in without mssing it up and appearing too full on? When i mention an us she just brings up being friends but is that due to the depression?

I wish

Think about it this way. The approach you were taking... back off, nice guy approach didn't get you anywhere. Did you not think of trying something completely different?

I was trying to give you a balanced advice. But the second part of my advice is more appropriate. She's very unstable.

I was in a similar relationship. My ex was really depressed and I didn't know how to help her either. I tried the same approach you did. Back off, give her space to figure it out on her own. It didn't work. It was too much for me to handle. She couldn't even help herself, so there was no way I could confied in her. It was a one-way relationship. So it was bound to end.

I suggest you start the healing process and apply the no contact rules.

liz28

If the relationship was perfect, her words, than she wouldn't have throw it away.

Your sister needs to stop putting herself in the middle of things. If she is going talk to her than let her talk to her without the conversation being about you.

Your ex has issues, mental issues that only a professional can solve. Stop texting, accepting her texts, talking on phone or via the internet,etc
Cut all ties! She is confuse but whats to have the upper hand over you and your allowing her to.

Move forward and on with your life and no more going backwards round in cirles over and over again. It's hard to say "goodbye" but it need to be said and you need to let this girl go.

l8onjones

But what would be completely different, being horrible? Yes I know shes very unstable but I want to help her out because I promised Id never leave her, and she cried on the phone last night and said never dont be my friend. Did your im guessing now ex girlfriend move on or is she still in he same situation? what do you think the chances are of getting her back

l8onjones

and I just cant leave her while shes depressed she has nobody else to turn to, she has a trouble home live she has fallen out or doesnt see her friends, I cant just up and leave

liz28

You want to help her but how exactly do you plan on completing this task?

She needs professional help and as long as you plan on staying your be sacrificing your own needs but you don't see it that way. Shame!

I guess your stay in this web of confusion of an emotional roller coaster ride.

I wish

Have to spread rep, but liz28 is right, unless you are a professional, you can be there as a friend and support her, but you can't cure her. She needs to see a therapist.

To answer your question, we tried so many times. We broke up (not more than 24 hours) and got back together. The cycle repeated 3 times over a span of 2 years. The first time we had this kind of fight was 7 months into the relationship. We both knew our relationship was in trouble and we gave it our best shot. After the last breakup, I think we both wanted to keep the door open (but it would be a few years down the line), but as time went on, we both knew that we're better off just as a friends (it usually happens when you recover from the break up).

The point is, both of you have to be willing to try to continue a relationship. I know you still have it in you to give it another shot, but she has to feel the same way and it doesn't look like she does. She keeps mentioning the word: "friend" instead of "another chance".