Can anyone make sense from this?

l8onjones · Apr 16, 2009, 06:09 AM

Basically me and my now ex girlfriend went out for 6 months, and one time after arguing with her sister and mum, we broke up for no apparent reason, afterwards she would ring and text me, and say that i deserved better etc.

After she spoke to her friends they told her that she was the happist shes ever been with me, and her mum thought she may have depression so we decided to give it another shot, we met up had a chat everything was fine, carrying on texting like nothing happened, made it official we were back together

I seen her last wednesday she cooked me food over at hers and we just did the usual cuddling and whatever else and i left she text me and said she was glad i enjoyed the food, she enjoyed making it and she was happy that we were happy again,

she then text me the following day saying did you know, you have the best cwtches ( cuddles) and I asked her why? and she said " I dunno i just know im safe its so comfy and I love sleeping with you. what we doing this weekend? "

so as she has been haviing a lot of arguments with her mum and sister lately i decided it would be a good idea to take her away from it all and take her to stay in my student house in cardiff, which she got very excited about, and then she text me to say we'd been together six months and I text back saying quick run away,

To which she replied " no running nowhere except cardiff with me xxxx"

she then text me the following day making sure i wanted to go to cardiff and didnt think i had to and she said it will be fun, and she also said " id love to go up for the weekend, come bk sunday and relax in mine monday"

Later that night she went to see her friend who had recently had a baby after a while they decided to leave the baby with her mum so they could have a drink and a catch up, at first she didnt know if she'd be able to make it as she wouldnt have had a lift so to make it easier for her i offered to give her a lift, i text her throughout, asked if she was enjoying to which she replied " yeah cant wait to see you"

Seeing as we just got back i text her asking does she think shes done the right thing and she said yeah ofcourse why?" and i replied and said how do you know, and she said " cos i love you dont you?" to which i replied of course i do

So time went by she text me and asked me to pick her up so i went there to pick her up, i dropped her off she text saying " im happy love you" and then she said " ur fit cant wait to see u, weird thought my sex drive had hone but oomph your hot" asked why it had gone and she said " worrying stress with leah, upset cos i was being mean 2 u"

So then it came to friday the day we were going to Cardiff she woke up text me and we had normal pointless texts then we planned to go to tesco to get food for the weekend, then i went and got her we were getting food then all of a sudden she said I dont know if I want to go now, so I said its ok if she doesnt wanna go we dont have to, then we got the car and she said she didnt wanna be with me anymore.

So I dropped her home and left it at that, and then recieved a text which said " im sorry but its easier for us both if we dont talk for a while sorry" which i left then i got another text which said " really sorry i heart uo, you dont deserve it your worth a million of me, i know you;ll be happy and ive made the right decision, take care"

So i just left it at that then I was over my friends and she text me asking if I was okay, and then I had another texting saying " I know getting over me is getting on with it but going to town and getting slaughtered isnt really the idea" but i said i wasnt even in town and her friend made a mistake

Then she phoned me crying saying that nobody will go out for her birthday I sat down talked to her and calmed her down, and then in the morning I had a text which said " thans for talking to me last night, you didnt have to give me the time of day", which i said was fine, she then rung me spoke to me as if nothing had happened, but ended the conversation by saying ive got to go now, got to keep myself busy.

She later that day text me pointless texts about spraying hairspray all over herself, she then phoned me to see if I was going out in the night which I wasnt and I heard nothing till she text me saying im not going out tomorrow babe.

Then she text saying " dontwanna im going to go out tonight instead even though i dont feel like it" so I asked why? which the reply was " get out the house i feel like .

She then text me later on in the day asking if I was ok, which i replied to saying I was ok-ish, you? which she said " not really u sound good told you youd be happy", and I said Ive had enough of putting on a brave face Im not ok i miss you like crazy and she said thats normal I do too and then she told me she had to make her mum hide her phone so she didnt text me. which i didnt reply too and got the same text again

She then rung me worrying because her friend hadnt phoned her about going out and she thought she was going to be left out but I said dont worry she'll contact you and itll be fine, low and behold her friend contacted her and she text me saying " kirst did txt me i punched myself in the face on your behalf for worrying speak to you soon"

So i just left it made no contact and then when she was out I had a texting saying " miss you" so i replied and said miss you too hows your night? to which she replied ok, then she asked what was i doing and then she said miss you again, then she asked me to come see her later which i agreed too, and she was telling me if shes slow texting back its because theres no signal which i already knew.

Then I had been on msn earlier on and spoke to her sister and her sister must have text her and told her to which i had a text saying msn? ! and then she said i was on msn when i hadnt but had been earlier which I had explained but didnt see the big deal as she wasnt my girlfriend

She text me to say she was going home so i text her and said do you still want me to see you, so she said for me to pick her up from her mates house which is like 5 mintues away from hers, So i got there picked her up and everything was fine we were chatting it was all normal and she told me some guy we know came onto her and asked wheres your boyfriend and she said hes not out tonight, which is a weird respone if you ask me, but we carried on talking and I said I dont know whats going on, and she said what? I said as in us, and she said I just want to be friends, and you could see her eyes filling up but i said you say you miss me and whatever and she said I do, then I dropped her off and hugged her but it wasnt a normal friendly hug she ran her hands all over my back as if we were still together, she then got upset and went.

Sorry if this is long winded but needed to get it all across, I just dont know what to do, i have no real reason why we finished, and if she texts do i text back? do I ignore her?

I really dont know what do its all so confusing, I know she has a lot going on family wise, but do i just give her space and run the risk of her thinking I dont care, theres so many thought running through my head atm

Well basically theres another twist to this whole saga, basically yesterday to get me out of the house my dad gave me money to go to the gym and put petrol in my car, so I wrote on my facebook that I was going to the gym.

I went to the gym none the wiser but while i was there she was speaking to my sister on MSN, asking where I was apparently to just check I was ok, I came home found this out thought nothing of it and went back out just to clear my head and keep busy.

While I was out she continued to talk to my sister, she asked her if I was home yet? If she knew where I was? My sister told her she didnt know and asked why she wanted to know and she said she wanted to speak to me, My sister said she would text me for me to ring her, but my ex said nah its fine ill let him enjoy whatever he's doing.

Then my sister said I'll text him he wont mind, so my ex said just ask where he is cos if hes busy ill leave him be til later, so my sister text and told me to ring her and told my ex, after a while i hadnt rung so my sister asked had I,

So my ex said no give him a chance, So after a bit I rung her asked what she wanted, she said nothing and I said well my sister told me to ring you so must be something, and she said she couldnt understand how I can afford to do what im doing blah de blah, and I said my dad had paid and whatever else she became funny and put the phone down, I rang her back it happened again, I rang her back a 3rd time said look this is why I did this, and she said ok so I said ok ill speak to you soon and she just put the phone down

l8onjones · Jul 10, 2009, 02:19 PM

Ive come to the conclusion im going to ignore her for a week and play the whole oh sorry im busy routine after that

l8onjones · Jul 19, 2009, 11:36 AM

Well ive managed to find a way to block her calls and texts so here goes nothing, theres still little comments on my friends facebooks aimed at me but ah well.
I still have these days where i really miss her and days when im fine, She text me last night saying I miss you, at stupid o clock obviously drunk, it just seems like shes saying leave me alone until i want to talk to you, no chance am i doing that, and i guess your right im making excuses for still wanting her but as you said shes swanning around with some other guy she couldnt care less, and its time i did the same
simply put she spoke to my mate on msn which meant she text me saying we need to talk, so we did found out she misses me and still loves me blah be blah, but the arguements still continued, and i ended up texting her saying " forget it, i try and make an effort to talk, you dont you dont trust me, dont wanna listen to antyhing i say and always accuse me of trying to cause arguements dont you see thats the last thing i want, ill just stay out of your life "

that led to me having a blank text sent sunday and then two sent yesterday and two missed calls, one question...why? and it cant be an accident because she said she deleted my number

and since ive had her crying to me on the phone telling me she loves me and misses me and she gets annoyed when i mention other girls but we cant talk without arguing and now shes gone on holiday and wont speak for 10 days maybe this a good thing?

roxypox · Jul 19, 2009, 01:13 PM

Have you considered blocking her on facebook? That way she cant see you and you cant see her.

I'm glad your doing better and that you see the reality in all this.

You really need to stick to your guns on this one!

Is there anyway you can block her number? some phone companies offers this, but very few.... have you considered changing your number (if you do this you need to tell the people you give it to to not give it to her and it should be unlisted)

Also, when you see a txt from her delete it immediately, before reading it. That way you have received it but you don't know what it says. which can be very very helpful for you right now!

l8onjones · Jul 20, 2009, 06:41 AM

, she went on holiday early hours of this morning and text me while she was waiting for her flight i was sleeping so she rang me so I wok up, the first text said " im not leaving you on bad terms babe tx me bk" followed by " tx me back snugglebum xxx" I said to her arent you meant to be on holiday? because i thought she'd flown earlier in the day the next text said " i dont care im not flying until 7 ill tx you as much as i can..lets make friends xx" I asked her about all the nights out shes had and whatever else and she replied with " i give up, i wanted to make friends incase anything happened, be friends with me x", I then asked if she had kissed anyone or anything else during our break up and she said " forget it, i already said no now we gonna smooch and make up or end like this xx"

I said to her we;ve had all day to make friends why leave it till now you only seem to text me when you have nothing better to do " I woke up at 2 , went back to sleep at 7, woke up at 3 thats why im only now textin you. im not going to get on that plane til were friends", Then this was just a random text " im in cardiff, happy times we had still make me smile im sorry i stopped you going out with your friends up there, i gotta sort my jealousy out x" I said well it seems as though you dont miss me and your fine " no i do i just hate admitting it im not fine x" I said why make out as if you are, why not be honest " I dont make anything out the girls know how i feel ive been crying to kirst all week, we go out to take my mind off it x" I said i dont think i can be friends while im still in love with you "try just til i get back from holidays, then we can talk more back on the 31st" I said i dont think i can do it, id have to stand around and watch as you move on " no i mean to be friends and talk when im back" She then said" im boardin soo do i tx you when im there? x" i said its completely up to you text me fi you want she replied with "see how i feel i get really homesick so try not 2, ill be thinking about you tho x" I said yeah ok have a good holiday see you soon "see you soon babe love you xx" i said love you too xx and she replied with " lots and lots and more and more and more xxx" and then she text me when she was there and thats basically how things stand now

I still cant work out whether its all one big game or not to be honest, maybe the ten days away will do good

l8onjones · Jul 23, 2009, 05:28 AM

I wonder if anyone can make the true meaning from this
Sorry if i treated you badly i never meant to I always adored you, loads of time to think out here xxx

N0help4u · Jul 23, 2009, 05:33 AM

the true meaning is however who reads it wants to interpret it.

If they want you back they will see it as sweet and meaningful

If they don't want you back they will see it as another desperate ploy to suck them back into something they are tired of

I'd go with the second!

caz1961 · Jul 23, 2009, 05:51 AM

yes sounds like she has some sort of mental illness and is unstable, or is playing mind games with you, my son had something very similar happen to him and she was suicidal in the end and he couldnt bear to watch her like that but couldnt bear the consequences of what would happen if he left. it made him feel ill and depressed but he soon realised that she was the one with the problem and he couldnt help her so he walked. he feels lot better for it now and shes still the same. dont keep running after her and replying to every little txt even if it drives you batty. she needs to know that your not a doormat. because whaterver you are doing its not making her feel any different by running after her is it.

l8onjones · Jul 23, 2009, 05:55 AM

And i guess the fact she said adored rather than adore, if it was a case of still loving me it would be adore?
I just dont know what to do and I still have feelings for her
what does the word adore man to you guys?

N0help4u · Jul 23, 2009, 05:56 AM

Have to spread the rep
Exactly when people use the I can't live without you suicide stuff it is to put a guilt trip on you to force you to stay. You can't make somebody love you and them thinking they can shows their lack of stability and the no relationship is worth being in if you are suffering by their demands no matter how passive the damands might be.
You have to live with your choices. Choose real love.
caz is right when you respond to every txt every email, I-M or whatever it gives her false hopes and fuels her enough to keep doing it.



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