Basically me and my now ex girlfriend went out for 6 months, and one time after arguing with her sister and mum, we broke up for no apparent reason, afterwards she would ring and text me, and say that i deserved better etc.
After she spoke to her friends they told her that she was the happist shes ever been with me, and her mum thought she may have depression so we decided to give it another shot, we met up had a chat everything was fine, carrying on texting like nothing happened, made it official we were back together
I seen her last wednesday she cooked me food over at hers and we just did the usual cuddling and whatever else and i left she text me and said she was glad i enjoyed the food, she enjoyed making it and she was happy that we were happy again,
she then text me the following day saying did you know, you have the best cwtches ( cuddles) and I asked her why? and she said " I dunno i just know im safe its so comfy and I love sleeping with you. what we doing this weekend? "
so as she has been haviing a lot of arguments with her mum and sister lately i decided it would be a good idea to take her away from it all and take her to stay in my student house in cardiff, which she got very excited about, and then she text me to say we'd been together six months and I text back saying quick run away,
To which she replied " no running nowhere except cardiff with me xxxx"
she then text me the following day making sure i wanted to go to cardiff and didnt think i had to and she said it will be fun, and she also said " id love to go up for the weekend, come bk sunday and relax in mine monday"
Later that night she went to see her friend who had recently had a baby after a while they decided to leave the baby with her mum so they could have a drink and a catch up, at first she didnt know if she'd be able to make it as she wouldnt have had a lift so to make it easier for her i offered to give her a lift, i text her throughout, asked if she was enjoying to which she replied " yeah cant wait to see you"
Seeing as we just got back i text her asking does she think shes done the right thing and she said yeah ofcourse why?" and i replied and said how do you know, and she said " cos i love you dont you?" to which i replied of course i do
So time went by she text me and asked me to pick her up so i went there to pick her up, i dropped her off she text saying " im happy love you" and then she said " ur fit cant wait to see u, weird thought my sex drive had hone but oomph your hot" asked why it had gone and she said " worrying stress with leah, upset cos i was being mean 2 u"
So then it came to friday the day we were going to Cardiff she woke up text me and we had normal pointless texts then we planned to go to tesco to get food for the weekend, then i went and got her we were getting food then all of a sudden she said I dont know if I want to go now, so I said its ok if she doesnt wanna go we dont have to, then we got the car and she said she didnt wanna be with me anymore.
So I dropped her home and left it at that, and then recieved a text which said " im sorry but its easier for us both if we dont talk for a while sorry" which i left then i got another text which said " really sorry i heart uo, you dont deserve it your worth a million of me, i know you;ll be happy and ive made the right decision, take care"
So i just left it at that then I was over my friends and she text me asking if I was okay, and then I had another texting saying " I know getting over me is getting on with it but going to town and getting slaughtered isnt really the idea" but i said i wasnt even in town and her friend made a mistake
Then she phoned me crying saying that nobody will go out for her birthday I sat down talked to her and calmed her down, and then in the morning I had a text which said " thans for talking to me last night, you didnt have to give me the time of day", which i said was fine, she then rung me spoke to me as if nothing had happened, but ended the conversation by saying ive got to go now, got to keep myself busy.
She later that day text me pointless texts about spraying hairspray all over herself, she then phoned me to see if I was going out in the night which I wasnt and I heard nothing till she text me saying im not going out tomorrow babe.
Then she text saying " dontwanna im going to go out tonight instead even though i dont feel like it" so I asked why? which the reply was " get out the house i feel like .
She then text me later on in the day asking if I was ok, which i replied to saying I was ok-ish, you? which she said " not really u sound good told you youd be happy", and I said Ive had enough of putting on a brave face Im not ok i miss you like crazy and she said thats normal I do too and then she told me she had to make her mum hide her phone so she didnt text me. which i didnt reply too and got the same text again
She then rung me worrying because her friend hadnt phoned her about going out and she thought she was going to be left out but I said dont worry she'll contact you and itll be fine, low and behold her friend contacted her and she text me saying " kirst did txt me i punched myself in the face on your behalf for worrying speak to you soon"
So i just left it made no contact and then when she was out I had a texting saying " miss you" so i replied and said miss you too hows your night? to which she replied ok, then she asked what was i doing and then she said miss you again, then she asked me to come see her later which i agreed too, and she was telling me if shes slow texting back its because theres no signal which i already knew.
Then I had been on msn earlier on and spoke to her sister and her sister must have text her and told her to which i had a text saying msn? ! and then she said i was on msn when i hadnt but had been earlier which I had explained but didnt see the big deal as she wasnt my girlfriend
She text me to say she was going home so i text her and said do you still want me to see you, so she said for me to pick her up from her mates house which is like 5 mintues away from hers, So i got there picked her up and everything was fine we were chatting it was all normal and she told me some guy we know came onto her and asked wheres your boyfriend and she said hes not out tonight, which is a weird respone if you ask me, but we carried on talking and I said I dont know whats going on, and she said what? I said as in us, and she said I just want to be friends, and you could see her eyes filling up but i said you say you miss me and whatever and she said I do, then I dropped her off and hugged her but it wasnt a normal friendly hug she ran her hands all over my back as if we were still together, she then got upset and went.
Sorry if this is long winded but needed to get it all across, I just dont know what to do, i have no real reason why we finished, and if she texts do i text back? do I ignore her?
I really dont know what do its all so confusing, I know she has a lot going on family wise, but do i just give her space and run the risk of her thinking I dont care, theres so many thought running through my head atm
Well basically theres another twist to this whole saga, basically yesterday to get me out of the house my dad gave me money to go to the gym and put petrol in my car, so I wrote on my facebook that I was going to the gym.
I went to the gym none the wiser but while i was there she was speaking to my sister on MSN, asking where I was apparently to just check I was ok, I came home found this out thought nothing of it and went back out just to clear my head and keep busy.
While I was out she continued to talk to my sister, she asked her if I was home yet? If she knew where I was? My sister told her she didnt know and asked why she wanted to know and she said she wanted to speak to me, My sister said she would text me for me to ring her, but my ex said nah its fine ill let him enjoy whatever he's doing.
Then my sister said I'll text him he wont mind, so my ex said just ask where he is cos if hes busy ill leave him be til later, so my sister text and told me to ring her and told my ex, after a while i hadnt rung so my sister asked had I,
So my ex said no give him a chance, So after a bit I rung her asked what she wanted, she said nothing and I said well my sister told me to ring you so must be something, and she said she couldnt understand how I can afford to do what im doing blah de blah, and I said my dad had paid and whatever else she became funny and put the phone down, I rang her back it happened again, I rang her back a 3rd time said look this is why I did this, and she said ok so I said ok ill speak to you soon and she just put the phone down
You are me 5 years ago. My relationship lasted 8 years. We broke up for 20 minutes many times. we would just skip over the resolution and go for sex, or intimacy, or companionship.... but nothing ever got resolved.
This scenario has developed even further where it happens she says she doesnt know what she wants then she wants me, she said she doesnt want to settle down then she asked could we move in together.
She says to leave her alone but she always gets back in contact with me I just dont understand it, My friend had a go at her and told her a few home truths and she said she wanted to be with me but now shes playing games again by ignoring me etc
She sounds like she is not ready for anything but deep down she wants you but not ready.
She may be stringing you along because she doesn't want to lose you. But more importantly she sounds co dependent. Like she needs to know where you are going and what you are doing and then she bases that on what she is going to do. Like if she calls and asks what are you doing maybe hoping you will say you were thinking of asking her if she wants to go out tonight. Instead you say something like I am going out with the guys.
So now she knows you have plans that do not include her so she feels crummy about sitting in the house thinking about how you are out and she is home alone. So she decides she is going out because she needs to get out of the house even though she doesn't feel like going out.
I think she is co dependent, rather immature and uncertain of what she really wants in life.
This scenario has developed even further where it happens she says she doesnt know what she wants then she wants me, she said she doesnt want to settle down then she asked could we move in together.
She says to leave her alone but she always gets back in contact with me I just dont understand it, My friend had a go at her and told her a few home truths and she said she wanted to be with me but now shes playing games again by ignoring me etc
what am i meant to do?
If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten and deserve! leave her the hell alone, she is toying with you.
Yes she is toying with you. You need to take it to a different level and set a different tone to get different results. The trick is trying to figure out a plan that will catch her emotional blackmail off guard.
thats exactly what happens she'll ring and ill say im out and she'll take it as I dont care, so she goes out and plays the mind games too, like when i went to tescos with my friend she'd rung to have a chat before bed but once she knew i was out she said i was just ringing to tell you i was going to bed night, now she has ignored me all day
thats exactly what happens she'll ring and ill say im out and she'll take it as I dont care, so she goes out and plays the mind games too, like when i went to tescos with my friend she'd rung to have a chat before bed but once she knew i was out she said i was just ringing to tell you i was going to bed night, now she has ignored me all day
Do you not understand what leave her be mean? When someone ignores you it doesn't mean you annoy them.
Forget about her.
She is unsure about what she wants so you are just going to get hurt repeatedly,
and I repeat.
If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten and deserve! leave her ALONE, she is toying with you
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