Basically me and my now ex girlfriend went out for 6 months, and one time after arguing with her sister and mum, we broke up for no apparent reason, afterwards she would ring and text me, and say that i deserved better etc.

After she spoke to her friends they told her that she was the happist shes ever been with me, and her mum thought she may have depression so we decided to give it another shot, we met up had a chat everything was fine, carrying on texting like nothing happened, made it official we were back together

I seen her last wednesday she cooked me food over at hers and we just did the usual cuddling and whatever else and i left she text me and said she was glad i enjoyed the food, she enjoyed making it and she was happy that we were happy again,

she then text me the following day saying did you know, you have the best cwtches ( cuddles) and I asked her why? and she said " I dunno i just know im safe its so comfy and I love sleeping with you. what we doing this weekend? "

so as she has been haviing a lot of arguments with her mum and sister lately i decided it would be a good idea to take her away from it all and take her to stay in my student house in cardiff, which she got very excited about, and then she text me to say we'd been together six months and I text back saying quick run away,

To which she replied " no running nowhere except cardiff with me xxxx"

she then text me the following day making sure i wanted to go to cardiff and didnt think i had to and she said it will be fun, and she also said " id love to go up for the weekend, come bk sunday and relax in mine monday"

Later that night she went to see her friend who had recently had a baby after a while they decided to leave the baby with her mum so they could have a drink and a catch up, at first she didnt know if she'd be able to make it as she wouldnt have had a lift so to make it easier for her i offered to give her a lift, i text her throughout, asked if she was enjoying to which she replied " yeah cant wait to see you"

Seeing as we just got back i text her asking does she think shes done the right thing and she said yeah ofcourse why?" and i replied and said how do you know, and she said " cos i love you dont you?" to which i replied of course i do

So time went by she text me and asked me to pick her up so i went there to pick her up, i dropped her off she text saying " im happy love you" and then she said " ur fit cant wait to see u, weird thought my sex drive had hone but oomph your hot" asked why it had gone and she said " worrying stress with leah, upset cos i was being mean 2 u"

So then it came to friday the day we were going to Cardiff she woke up text me and we had normal pointless texts then we planned to go to tesco to get food for the weekend, then i went and got her we were getting food then all of a sudden she said I dont know if I want to go now, so I said its ok if she doesnt wanna go we dont have to, then we got the car and she said she didnt wanna be with me anymore.

So I dropped her home and left it at that, and then recieved a text which said " im sorry but its easier for us both if we dont talk for a while sorry" which i left then i got another text which said " really sorry i heart uo, you dont deserve it your worth a million of me, i know you;ll be happy and ive made the right decision, take care"

So i just left it at that then I was over my friends and she text me asking if I was okay, and then I had another texting saying " I know getting over me is getting on with it but going to town and getting slaughtered isnt really the idea" but i said i wasnt even in town and her friend made a mistake

Then she phoned me crying saying that nobody will go out for her birthday I sat down talked to her and calmed her down, and then in the morning I had a text which said " thans for talking to me last night, you didnt have to give me the time of day", which i said was fine, she then rung me spoke to me as if nothing had happened, but ended the conversation by saying ive got to go now, got to keep myself busy.

She later that day text me pointless texts about spraying hairspray all over herself, she then phoned me to see if I was going out in the night which I wasnt and I heard nothing till she text me saying im not going out tomorrow babe.

Then she text saying " dontwanna im going to go out tonight instead even though i dont feel like it" so I asked why? which the reply was " get out the house i feel like .

She then text me later on in the day asking if I was ok, which i replied to saying I was ok-ish, you? which she said " not really u sound good told you youd be happy", and I said Ive had enough of putting on a brave face Im not ok i miss you like crazy and she said thats normal I do too and then she told me she had to make her mum hide her phone so she didnt text me. which i didnt reply too and got the same text again

She then rung me worrying because her friend hadnt phoned her about going out and she thought she was going to be left out but I said dont worry she'll contact you and itll be fine, low and behold her friend contacted her and she text me saying " kirst did txt me i punched myself in the face on your behalf for worrying speak to you soon"

So i just left it made no contact and then when she was out I had a texting saying " miss you" so i replied and said miss you too hows your night? to which she replied ok, then she asked what was i doing and then she said miss you again, then she asked me to come see her later which i agreed too, and she was telling me if shes slow texting back its because theres no signal which i already knew.

Then I had been on msn earlier on and spoke to her sister and her sister must have text her and told her to which i had a text saying msn? ! and then she said i was on msn when i hadnt but had been earlier which I had explained but didnt see the big deal as she wasnt my girlfriend

She text me to say she was going home so i text her and said do you still want me to see you, so she said for me to pick her up from her mates house which is like 5 mintues away from hers, So i got there picked her up and everything was fine we were chatting it was all normal and she told me some guy we know came onto her and asked wheres your boyfriend and she said hes not out tonight, which is a weird respone if you ask me, but we carried on talking and I said I dont know whats going on, and she said what? I said as in us, and she said I just want to be friends, and you could see her eyes filling up but i said you say you miss me and whatever and she said I do, then I dropped her off and hugged her but it wasnt a normal friendly hug she ran her hands all over my back as if we were still together, she then got upset and went.

Sorry if this is long winded but needed to get it all across, I just dont know what to do, i have no real reason why we finished, and if she texts do i text back? do I ignore her?

I really dont know what do its all so confusing, I know she has a lot going on family wise, but do i just give her space and run the risk of her thinking I dont care, theres so many thought running through my head atm

Well basically theres another twist to this whole saga, basically yesterday to get me out of the house my dad gave me money to go to the gym and put petrol in my car, so I wrote on my facebook that I was going to the gym.

I went to the gym none the wiser but while i was there she was speaking to my sister on MSN, asking where I was apparently to just check I was ok, I came home found this out thought nothing of it and went back out just to clear my head and keep busy.

While I was out she continued to talk to my sister, she asked her if I was home yet? If she knew where I was? My sister told her she didnt know and asked why she wanted to know and she said she wanted to speak to me, My sister said she would text me for me to ring her, but my ex said nah its fine ill let him enjoy whatever he's doing.

Then my sister said I'll text him he wont mind, so my ex said just ask where he is cos if hes busy ill leave him be til later, so my sister text and told me to ring her and told my ex, after a while i hadnt rung so my sister asked had I,

So my ex said no give him a chance, So after a bit I rung her asked what she wanted, she said nothing and I said well my sister told me to ring you so must be something, and she said she couldnt understand how I can afford to do what im doing blah de blah, and I said my dad had paid and whatever else she became funny and put the phone down, I rang her back it happened again, I rang her back a 3rd time said look this is why I did this, and she said ok so I said ok ill speak to you soon and she just put the phone down

talaniman

You aren't going to like this, but leaving her alone, to deal with her own problems, is the best thing you could ever do for her, and yourself.

You do not have the tools, skills, or knowledge to help her. Sorry guy, your feelings have you helpless, to do the right thing for you both.

l8onjones

what can i do to inject some excitement?

I wish

I know I told you that she might be waiting for you to do something major. But that was in the earlier stages. The two of you have drifted apart too far at this point.

You're not going to like this response: you tried already.

You invited her to go Cardiff with you and she backed out. I hate to say it, but that was your chance to re-spark your relationship. You did your part and she didn't reciprocate, which means that she doesn't feel the same way about you.

I wish I didn't have to tell you to move on, it is the most logical thing to do at this point. I feel for you though. If you're going to regret not giving it another shot, then you can try to invite her to go to Cardiff again (or something similar). Tell her that you want a chance to save the relationship because of how much you love her and that you don't want to lose her. If you choose this route, you gotta be prepared to be shot down again. The chances are slim to none that she wants to give this relationship a second chance.

l8onjones

It just gets more and more complicated after talking and getting upset last night, i thought the conclusion had finally been reached to be friends she said not to talk for a bit etc, but this morning i recieved a text saying thank you lots, no matter ow hard it is you understand and i really appreciate it, speak to you later, so i ignored the text because as far as i was concerned there was no response to that but just now she sent me a text with just 3 kisses, why? not friend like behaviour?

I wish

We told you, she's really unstable. She doesn't really know what she wants, but she's not ready to let you go. So she's just stringing you along. She might not want a relationship, but she doesn't want to close the door on you forever. You don't need to keep speculating on all these signs. If you want another shot with her, you're going to have to accept her unstableness.

The best option is to give her space and let her find herself before you try again. But if you really want another shot with her now, tell her. If you do still love her, then do something about it. Get a straight answer out of her or else this could drive you crazy. Find out if she just needs space before continuing the relationship or whatever explanation she gives. It's not fair to you for her to string you along.

But it's not only what she wants, what do you want? Do you still love her? Are you sure you still love her? From what you told us, it just sounds like you care about her and you want to cure her. What does she offer you to make you so in love with her? (You don't need to tell us, but you need to answer this yourself).

l8onjones

I do love her, and I dont want her but I dont want to do anything now due to her instability the last thing she needs is me piling on the pressure, and I dont want to leave her be at the same time so she may think i dont care, i dont know what to do for the best

I wish

Tell her that. Tell her that you love her, but you also want to give her space to let her find herself. Tell her that you don't want to close the door on her. Tell her that you know that you might not be able to get some straight answers from her, but you still want to know if you should wait for her.

I know that everyone is telling you to move on for so many reasons. But if you can't move on, then talk to her. Sit her down and get some straight answers.

Unless you're the cause of her depression, her feelings for you should be clear in her mind. If she can't differenciate the two, then she's extremely unstable and needs professional help.

l8onjones

She actually said she wants to try and get over me first to see how much is the depression and how much is the break up, but i know if i mention to her now im never shutting the door, she'll say she only wants to be friends anyway, im just hoping if she solves this depression then she will come out the other side clearer headed, I dont know what to do for the best, people say shes attention seeking would you agree? and nah she said im not the cause of depression she said shes had it before and its come back, i just dont know what to do for the best

I wish

The best is to leave her alone. If she really loves you after she recovers from this depression, she will come back to you.

liz28

Right now you can't give her what she wants because your healing too from all of this.

You said she had depression before and she has it now-more of a reason she needs professional help to get to the bottom of her issues. She may need medicine but again the doctor will do what he or she feels it best.

You don't want to let her go due your feelings and you don't want to dissappoint her but this load is too heavy to be carrying on your shoulders.

Depression is a serious issue and shouldn't be taken lightenly. You need to remove yourself from this situation and cope with your own feelings while she sort out her life. I know it's hard to just walk away but sometimes you have to.