heh everyone i just broke up with my ex about a month ago...we just needed some time apart..so now that i am tryin to reconcile things i find out that he is messin with another girl...not his girlfriend but someone he is talkin to..he says that i left him so it will be on his terms when we get back together...i broke down on day and cried tellin him id lost him ect...and he said baby dont cry you havent lost me i just dont want to rush back into things...what is that supposed to mean??the more i try to push the issue the angrier he gets...i dont understand...bc he says he loves me and he says that he still wants to be with me and he believes that we will most likely end up getting back together..but why not now???someone tell me what to do...im losing my mind cuz hes my world and i love him so very much...

Wildcat21

Well - here is the deal. You broke up with him - he is HURT bad. Now he has this other gal. Unfortunately, if he wanted to get back together he WOULD jump through hoops to do it.

Give him time. Although, be careful - I have a feeling he is playing you.

Read these articles about love, relationships, getting your lover back...

www.lovetactics.com

There are several things you need to do to get him back.

lickemlolly

i dont know about playin because when i intially broke up with him he cried and begged me not to leave...then he said you realize if you do this then i will not just let you come back when you want to...heres a little twist....today he was supposed to come over and he didnt...so i called him like he asked me to do....the phone was off and then i dropped by his place and he wasnt there...which tells me what ....he is with the other girl right now...and then i start cryin and get upset....even though i know i shouldnt call him i still pick up the phone and do it...i dont understand why he is doing this for any other reason but he wants to hurt me....i have talked to him a lot and we talk about the future and i ask him what he sees for the future and he says us havin kids...when i ask him oh so you think well get back together he goes back on the defense and says somethin like eventually but i dont want to rush back into it....i feel like i will lose him to this other girl....i hate that cuz we have been together for so long...

Wildcat21

People want what they can't have!

I advise NOT calling him at all - at least for a couple weeks. DON'T return his calls right away. NO TEXT or e-mail.

He may not be with that girl - you might just be paranoid. A lot of times we think the worst.

BUT, I think he is playing you. If you had plans and he didn't even call. Again, guys will JUMP through hoops to be with you if they are interested.

See - your too available right now. People WANT a challenge. You lowered his interest level by breaking up.

One good thing is - usaully the 'new girl' doesn't last. Getting back together NEVER works over night and may even take MONTHS!

lickemlolly

thank you so much...some of what you say hurts but its the truth in most experiences i have been in if i guy left me for another girl it didn't last long.....hes been screwin her....shes now pregnant and says its his....but heres the catch....she lives with her babys father whom she say she isnt messin wit...he just sent me a text says hes srry he didnt call his phone went dead while he was at his dads house....says he will call when it charges...should i answer the phone...

Wildcat21

No.

Good chance th kid isn't his. He needs a paternity suit.

My advice is move on - do you really want to be involved with this guy?

lickemlolly

ok so i am calm now...youve been such a big help...so tell me how is it that you have gotten to know so much about this stuff....i hope that in time he will come back...my problem is im impatient i want things to happen now instead of waiting...but thank you...

lickemlolly

and to answer your question yes i do want to be with this guy...i love him very much....and maybe its not meant to be maybe it is...only time will tell....hes never treated me bad met me while i was pregnant and has taken care of my son like he was his own even now that we are not together...has always done for me even if it meant he had none....i guess thats why i cant let him go and move on....maybe im stupid for waiting

Wildcat21

I've been through a lot and don't want others to go through this. Heartache is avaoidable. I would like to help at least one person.

Everyone wants to rush romance - and especially with the person we want the most - WHICH is not smart. These things take time. When you think about - a couple months is not a long time. Sounds like you both need space from each other now.

I think now, if you really think about it, you can see why you're broken up. Things happen for a reason. You shouldn't be wih him right mow.

Obviously if he has this kid, do you want to be with him?

lickemlolly

yes still want to be with him...his feelings on the situation is he wishes she wasnt havin a baby and if she is he hopes it isnt his...but new twist since you asked about the kid....i am pregnant but for sure with his and he knows this....i didnt find out until after the breakup and didnt tell him till after i had found out about the other girl...so i am tied to him no matter if we are together or not...he called several times yesterday and came by to take me out to breakfast....also made a statement that confused me....he said out of nowhere....if for some reason im not married to you in the future i cant see myself ever dating another black woman....im hispanic so im not sure what that means...the girl that says she is preg is black....hmmm