We broke up a few weeks ago and I haven't felt worse. She immediately started seeing one of her friends from elementary school who she hasn’t seen really since then. This was within 24 hours! They are dating now and she really likes this guy. He seems like a good guy from what our mutual friends’ say, which is a great thing. She says they click. I think it’s being reintroduced to someone. Its new conversation, new people, and a fun change. She’s the type of person who can’t stand being alone. If she does want to be with him I just hope it’s for love and not loneness.

I, however, am very much in love with her. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and I really just can’t function. We were together for five years and it recently lost its glow. I know I needed this to realize what we were doing wrong and how we could get it back. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to marry her, and she really was ready. I know now that I could see myself with her forever! I thought about it a while and it seems like all signs point to love, not jealousy. I have met a few girls and realized that there isn’t anything out there that I would be remotely interested in. It wasn’t really a relationship, but more beneficial. It was great, but I don’t need it. I want her!

She keeps giving me the cold shoulder. She doesn’t want to talk to me and when she does, she’s very mean. A week ago she was okay to talk and hang out once in a while. But now she hates talking to me! The break-up ended well, no one cheated and we both felt at the time it was necessary. I think that she thinks that if she’s mean to me I’ll let her be. But, for once in my life I can’t read her.

Everyone keeps telling me to not bother her AT ALL! I’ve told her how I feel, but looking back it sounded like a desperate plea, not to mention the worst proposel ever! I really want to let her know that I can change for her and do truly love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. Should I write her a note? Should I tell her in person? Should I just leave her alone and let her find me? My worry is that if I do the last option she’ll take whatever is in front of her. It’s easier and she knows he’s ready to settle. I know she still likes me, doesn’t love me, but I think we can work on it. Please help me!

Follow your gut feeling. If you want to fight for her then do it.
Do what you have to do and then if it doesn't work out you will know that you did all that you could and you will be able to let it go much more easily.
Wishing you much strength.
Stand and be true,
keenu

I think what I'll do is give her the rest of the week to be by herself. I know for the more part she'll be very busy. I'll give her a few days without me in her life and then approach her. I'm going to write some stuff down and basically read it off to her or I'll choke! Thanks for the response. And, if she rejects me, which sounds more and more likely, at least I'll know that she knows how I feel.

Ok, sounds good. It's always different when you look at a situation from an objective viewpoint. People say all sorts of things that they don't mean and people change their minds (and hearts) all the time. The best thing to do is follow your feelings and remain true to yourself. Things will work out for the best, even if it doesn't look like the best at the time.
Kudos!
keenu

If you love her I would ALWAYS fight. Especially after 5 years. A lot 'gurus' would say move on. I say no. There are books on Amazon you MUST buy NOW - "How to win your lover back" etc.

You need some relationship books - "How to keep your lover" etc.

Humans Are NOT born with relationship skills - you HAVE to learn them.

This website is OUTSTANDING" www.lovetactics.com AND http://www.relationships.blog-city.com - MANY great articles.

www.askmen.com - look under relationships - FANTASTIC stuff - read Doc Love - he will set you straight.

www.sosuave.com

Did you listen to her?? And have quality conversations or were you doing stupid stuff??

BUT, I wondering how missy got involved in 24 hours with grade school boy?? My thinking is grade school boy has been moving in for quite a while. No way she would tell you this. Sorry for the harsh reality. Don't be naïve. This is important because you need all info.

Now - with you. Lately have you been clingy/needy?? Last few months. All lovely-dovey. Did you turn into a Wuss?? Woman hate wusses!! Were you looking for her approval all the time and NOT trying to upset her?? We're you always available and NOT having other outside interest and seeing your friends. Were you being too nice and not having an opinion??

Woman want a confident man. They do NOT want clingy. They want a MAN who has a life outside the relationship.

I say it OVER and OVER here: your SO/GF/BF/Lover is NOT your life. Not your life.

Letters suck. Notes suck. You have to face her, BUT you have to change and tell her this.

You seem like a 'nice guy' - YOU need to change. YOU need to change.

REMEMBER - people want what the ycan't have!! Be scares for a while.

How did you react when she broke up?? There are certin things you can do to freak them out and show you are a man and change the light - BUT you have to LEARN this stuff.

START LEARNING ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS!!

Woman want a nice guy - with some jerk like tendencies:

1. Don't be so nice!! - woman are NOT attracted to this.
2. Don't EVER try and convince her to like you again - YOU can't force a woman to like you!! You need to remember how you were early in the relationship that caused her to like you - act like that guy.
3. Stop looking for her approval for everything - MAKE some freaking decisions - WOMAN want a man who makes decisions. I bet you let her pick all the restaurants, entertainment, everything - woman HATE that.
4. You probablu ALL day long told her how you care and loved her - DON'T SAY it - SHOW IT!! Do things for her. LISTEN TO HER!!
5.NOT getting how attraction works - at one time you gave her a gut feeling that you were a great guy and she let you into her life. It's what ever you DID WHEN YOU FIRST MET!! You got soft dude. Woman DON'T want soft.
6. MOST IMPORTANT POINT!! MOST IMPORTANT POINT!! You gave her ALL the power in the relationship. RIGHT?? All the power. Meaning she made all the decisions - you put her on a pedistal - woman will eat you alive and tear out your heart over this. You did what ever woman wants. Woman hate this!! Wives HATE this!!
7.Not knowing what to do in EVERY situation. LEARN about relationships. LEARN what turns her On. LEARN HOW TO SEDUCE HER!! Learn what she likes.

The ball was in her court!! You thought that was good - you thought she was happy. No, no, no. THE BALL SHOULD BE IN YOUR COURT!! Understand??

YOU stopped being the prize. You need to change. BE THE PRIZE!!

This is tough love. But you really need it dude.

Didn't mean to be so harsh there... but you need to change your ways and inspire your lover. You need to turn her on - you were turning her off. Take some power back. Be elusive and indifferent. Maybe even see someone yourself.

You want your woman to see you in a different light.

She's the type of person who wants all of the things you just said that the typically woman does not want. She want independence, but still needs a lot of care and attention. She doesn't know what she wants right now because she's having fun experiencing something new and fun just like any new relationship with soemone you actually have some compatibility with. She enjoys the new friends conversations, etc. She and I haven't talked much since tonight. I called her brother and she grabbed the phone from him and started talking to me out of the blue. I asked where we stood. Whether it was friends or if it was on her terms or what the hell was going on. Somehow getting back together came up just a what if friendly conversation. Nothing too serious. But the second it got slightly serious she avoided talking about it like the plague. She's curious for both of the guys she has fighting over her. Me and her new boy. She still feels a little something for me, and that's a fact, but isn't sure due to the reasons that we did break-up. She's worried that we'll go down that same road again and she'll have ruined what chance she had with her new guy. So, she feels that if she can forget I exsit, it'll be better off for her.

Dude - WHY are you bring up the relationship AGAIN with her?? Cut that out.

Right now you WANT to be her friend. Friends are the basis points for a LONG TERM relationship. IF you are not friends - the rest won't work.

Keep it light - make her laugh.

Become the guy she was attracted to initially.

You KEEP putting pressure on this gal - WOMAN HATE Pressure!! WOMAN HATE Pressure in a relationship. Once YOU start asking for clarification - your relationship is over.

You need to change dude. Figure out what you did that turned her off and work on it.

PEOPLE WANT WHAT THEY CAN'T HAVE. You were probably way too available.

READ this website: www.lovetactics.com - GREAT articles.

Oh and DON'T put anything in her terms - woman HATE that. You KEEP asking gfor her 'Approval' - that is sickening to woman.

The ball should ALWAYS be in your court. Sounds like you gave her all the power in the relationship - woman HATE that!

I would like to thank you guys for replying to my forum. I did let her know what I felt and had to do it for me mainly. I know it was the wrong think to do, but at least this way I can move on with life knowing that she knew how I felt. I won't bother her anymore. She's happy and thinks her and her boyfriend are in love. So, I'll just go about life and try to make the best of it. I did learn a lot about relationships in general with this ordeal.

Thanks,

Jason

Jason my friend,

You should have done what I told you - those are the rules. This isn't a game. Once you learn this stuff your gal will not leave you.

YOU lowered her interest level. Do you understand? You did.

You have to learn this stuff - you have to change or it will happen again.

Just the facts. No more Mr. "Nice Guy" - Ok. This doesn't mean you are a jerk either.