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My girlfriend of almost 2 years has broken up with me because she can't grow as a person as long as she depends on me for so much. She only has work and had our relationship- no friends where I have lots of friends. She is also confused as to what direction her life is going. I am her best friend-she told me and her mother also told me this, and I want to be there for her but at the same time she doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship.
She is 22 and just finished college where I am 35 but am in no rush to put pressure on her as far as marriage, things like that.
It's only been about a week and I'm having a real hard time with this. What do I do?
Should I still be friends with her in the hopes that we will eventually be together again?
What do I do?!? Should I contact her in a couple weeks or wait for her to contact me.
Neither....
Move on, get busy with yourself.
Its okay to think about her calling you in the future, but certainly do not wait for her to do so. You said yourself, and so did she, she wants space, and she wants 'me' time. Calling her and talking to her isnt exactly giving her what she asked of you.
Your best option is to move on, as hard as it may be. We all know how difficult it is, but it is necessary, and is most certainly possible. The best thing you can do for yourself, and for her, is to give her what she asks. Give her all the space she needs.
She wants time on her own and realises that she wants to meet someone new and begin another life with someone her age. My Ex was 22 with her 3 years she said exactly the same thing. They decide they are at a certain stage in there life and they were relying on you to be there during the tough times but well you were a bit used sorry to say. Im 28 my gf loved me completely and was thinkiong how we could be together but just decided and said she need to be on her own. The simple factvis your girl has realised its time for her to be her own person and that means not include you. Sorry to say but shes gone now and wont be back. The girls need time and well she pretty much wants to start fressh new job new guy new life. Sorry for the heartbreak im still in denial and my heart is broken but she wants to have her own life. I have also heard that line of you have so much life experience and i dont yet I got fed that as well its just a load of crap. Dont believe much of what she says one of the simplest reasons is she is not in love with you. Sorry to say it but she just doesnt feel it cause if she did she wouldnt be dumping you....
We didn't really have tough times and I don't think I was used- she was the one from the beginning that really moved quickly. And our problems were mostly my lack of opening up to her and my secretive nature (not wanting to burden her with my problems)- but I told her that I would work on it.
She said she felt she was losing her best friend, and I want to be there for her as her friend, specifically because she has no friends.
This is my last email -
Kari,
You truly are the most amazing person I have ever met, you have a huge
heart and you have such a capacity for love. Your inner strength and
your strong willed attitude shines through in so much that you do.
It's what made me fall in love with you and it's why I will always
cherish the time we spent together.
I know you said that you aren't IN love with me and that you have to
work on things for yourself - by yourself and I understand that. I
want so much for you to be happy- that's all I ever wanted. I just
wish that it was something that we could get through and work on
together. I also wish that I had opened up to you more than I did, you
know me so well-more than anyone else in the world, and if you felt
like I wasn't open about something in the past you should have just
smacked me upside the head and told me, that's what I really needed -
but I guess you already knew that. I read an email that you wrote me
back in Feb' 06 about trusting you and being open I should have taken
that more to heart. I would do anything now to make things right
between us - I'd even sing to you at the top of my lungs if you can
believe that.
Well, I don't know what else to say right now - I do know that you are
my best friend and even though I have lost your love I want you to
know that you can always count on me- for anything.
I will always love you and will always be there for you,
Do nothing disapear. Dont answer any calls dont send any texts DO NOTHINGGGG!!!!!
Be the mystery Man and vanish, people cant believe when your gone, if she really likes you she will call and if not you can call in a couple of weeks if you want and be the fun guy nothing serious, just say hay what you up too....
She will most likely text or do something just dont be there for her, id say urve been smothering her lately and been all over her women hate that. Give her space and let her miss you...
Shes made her choice. That choice is without you. Concentrate on you! your friends, family and life. Its not your problem anymore, she needs to develop as a person, find new friends expand her life, see what is out there.
I feel like that right now - I am 21. I want to see the world, see what life is all about, to meet new people etc. At 35 years old its a bit to 'late' to be worrying what a 22 year old girl wants, shes young, wants a life, not dedication and commitment. You need to find what you want with someone else, I am sure there are plenty of others out there. Time will heal you and who knows you may become good friends again. Abide by NC and face up to the cold hard facts.
Righthearted]i get your point, but why can't i be there for her. Did she ask you to be? Your to eager to be there because you think she will take you back, and that is a dangerous notion, as your not giving her the space she needs, and you need to leave her completely alone until you can accept that you need a life without her. You must let go and move on.
do you believe in - if you love someone set them free, if they come back it was meant to be
So set her free and leave her alone, or for sure she will get tired of you pestering her. If she comes back it must be on her own, so set her free already.
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