I met a Peruvian girl in a nightclub over 5 years ago. She moved in with me over 2 years ago. Her parents then purchased a house for her in June 06 so I decided to rent out my townhouse and move in with her. I'm now 37 and she is 34. She runs her own business from the house and I work for an IT firm. Her English is not that great, but has improved slightly. I forgot to mention that she is still waiting for papers (ie.Green Card)

Weekends are typical and kind of boring waking up late and eating breakfast at Dennys, taking the dog to the dog park, mostly watching movies, lack of communication due to the language barrier. When getting together with her friends or her family they all speak Spanish and I am completely bored. I should mention that we have sex once in a blue moon (she wants it all the time, but I dont).

She loves me very much, she is a great cook, she cleans etc...
When I was in between jobs, that's when she moved in with me and helped me out financially with the mortgage payments and in return I allowed her to use one of the bedrooms in the townhouse to run her business.

We also have a dog that is now almost 3 years old. Now, I'm Jewish and she mentioned she is willing to convert. All these years I mentioned to her that she needs to improve her English, convert, and get a nosejob and boob job since I love big boobs(I know I am kind of shallow in that dept) she only recently started to attend ESL classes.

I dont know if I love her and if I would be making a mistake by breaking up.
I should also mention that during the years before we lived together, I did cheat on her by dating other girls purely for sex. However, lately I'm going more & more to Jewish events to meet other women to find out if they can match up to her given that they are already Jewish and speak English.

We recently had a big argument since she invaded my privacy and called my voicemail on my cellphone and listened to my voicemails and questioned me about a girl on the voicemail. She wouldnt acknowledge that she invaded my privacy or apologize so I opened my big mouth in anger and said "I will never marry you or give you kids etc... " today she gave me an ultimatum that I need to make a decision since she is getting older and would like to get married and have kids, so I need to decide if I wish to continue with her or not. If I choose not to, she would kick me out of the house so she says without giving me time to look for a new place to live. By the way, her parents live in the house as well (they dont speak a word in English) they just cook very well and they dont really disturb me. They are kind of forced to be in the U.S every 6 months to maintain their Green Card.

I should add that I was never close to my parents or brother and that could be the reason why I may not know what love is.

I'm so confused not sure what would happen with the dog as well, technically it's my dog but the dog really loves her, she may not wish to keep the dog out of spite (she has a large yard) and I may have to rent a place that allows dogs and the dog may not have the space like it has now (as you can tell I love my dog)

I look forward to your replies, please dont tell me I am racist, if I was I wouldnt be with her for that long. I could be making the mistake of my life if I break up with her not being able to find someone like her and being alone (which I hate) but then again how can I continue if I dont think I love her and keep getting bored at family & friends gatherings.

moon light

i think u dun love her....thats why u demend her too much..
but u c
in life ah... love is not onli a thing
in family life .. there r many th to consider....
my mum n my father marry for not love at first
but they r happy since my mum is a good partner...
so i think u beter marry her lai...
=)

alizeblu

ima tell you right now, if you dont love her make it easy for the both of you and move on, do what you gotta do.

cause it just gets worse. if i was you, i wouldnt even let thins thing get to you-->love

cause its what starts all the nonsense in the 1st place. you probably wouldnt even be here if you didnt question yourself about loving her or not, and i believe that would be a "doubt".

but true love has no doubts, if you were in love, trust me, you wouldnt be on here questioning it in the 1st place.

so you already know what you have to do, you dont need us to tell you.

go do it!

Improbable

Isn't it amazing how many feelings and emotions are involved in every move we make. No wonder our wires get crossed. I'm sure when you re-read what you have wrote you are going to answer many of your own questions. That still doesn't mean you will be able to act on what you know to be right though. Keep working towards the right thing. Remember that it can't stay like it is. If you want to be true to yourself and her, buck up and keep putting the truth right in your face. It might be today, two weeks, two months, who knows, but it is going to happen. It will hurt no matter which way you turn. I guess it is all a learning experience and if we get lucky, we find happiness too.

kellkell

It is sad when someone is unable to see how disillusioned they are.

Here is a person with a woman who is willing to go out of her way to make him happy and accommodate his wishes and needs; yet, she is taken for granted and then disrespected by a cheater with the emotional capacity of an amoeba.

Should the relationship end....yes. But, I wonder to myself as to why he should get the satisfaction of making the decision to end it?

de88ie_9irl

Ok firstly dude yes, you ARE shallow. What kind of man tells the woman he 'supposedly' loves that she NEEDS a nose and boob job? You should love her for who she is; not because she has big boobs. Very superficial. Secondly, cheating should already tell you that you're not satisfied in this relationship, you're obviously not getting everything you need from her. Why keep her around in this mundane relationship when you can't respect her and give HER what she needs? Let her move on and find somebody who will truly care about her. You shouldn't be angry at her for 'invading you're privacy' since you've obviously given her something to be suspicious about. Thirdly, I am an avid dog lover, but dude dogs have no bearing on decisions in relationships.. they're awesome.. but.. they're still just dogs.
You may not be racist, but you sure don't appreciate her. Let her go before it's too late for her to have a family.

dolly08

emopunk7

This stuff makes me sick! How can you be with someone without love? Leave her alone. DO the world a favor and find someone you care for geniunely!

Sdjosh

Love is not just a state of mind...it's an action. Love is what she is showing for you. Taking care of you cleaning, cooking, being there for you, learning your language, helping you out with your house, and wanting to commit to a future.

See ...that is love. We all could be so lucky. If i had someone like that i would certainly give of myself. I would not just say i was in love but prove it. Sacrifice for her....take care of her....be with her mentally and physically.

alizeblu

i thought love was an emotion, not an action.

define love.

Sdjosh

Love is just not an emotion ....love is in your actions as well. How you treat a person...doing things for them....trying to take care of them....

Just look at what this guys girlfriend does for him. She is making the effort. She is giving of herself in this relationship. That is loving actions. That is not just saying you are in love but proving it with her actions. That is why i say that love is not just an emotion but and action.