My gf went on a break with me about a week ago. She said that she was unhappy and needed time and space. I know you all suggest NO CONTACT, but my situation is a bit sticky because she still wants to hang out with me and we also take the same university class together, where we usually sit together. My question is...Should I try to be more aggressive with NC and decline to hang out when she asks, and not sit with her in class? Or should I remain distant but still be there for her?

N0help4u

I agree with the others. If you are there for her when she wants something then you are just for convenience and it will be too easy for her to keep things where they are.
As long as she sees you are pining away for her she knows she can continue the just friends cause she knows you will be there whenever so she knows she can go a month or a year.
NC she may just realize just how much difference there is without you and maybe reconsider her decision.

talaniman

Nine times out of ten, what has happen is that thru no contact, a fog lifts, and we see those partners for what they really are, flawed, confused humans with problems, just like us.

chuff

Amen.

hav0k

I haven't done anything yet...how can I kill the situation. I'm just trying to analyze everything and consider everyones advice before I act. In order to do that, I wanted to convey a clearer picture to everyone.

chuff

You are going on emotions. That is understandable this is an emotional situation but your letting your emotions take the lead and that is going to kill you because you are acting out in a desperate manner. In each post after your OP you are NOT conveying a clearer picture, you are attempting to get someone to agree with you so that you can call or talk to her because that is what you want.

Look bro, I'm telling you this as a guy who is going through this exact same problem right now...not someone who did it before, but right now. She started pulling away from me and instead of thinking with my logical brain I went full steam ahead. I broke my own rule that you never give more then 50%. I was giving 100% and guess what I'm without the person I've been with for almost a year. She continued to push me away, like your girl has been doing, and instead of match her at her game and back off (ie when they pull back you pull back) I continued to pursue. I completely flip floped the entire relationship because she was the one that chased me originally. Why....because women love challenge. You are presenting no challenge and demostrating no autority to her.

That picture does not need to be made clear, everybody sees it but you. That's not a knock on you because you are in a desperate time and you are thinking irrationally. I don't blame you, I was just there two weeks ago. She has all the power over you right now, which is horrible for you because women love powerful men. There is only one way to demostrate to her that you don't need her and prove how powerful you are to her. That way is to not talk to her. Furthermore, that is exactly what she should expect since she asked for this, for her to dump you then tell you to hang around as her friend is lame, petty, and beneath you.

talaniman

Chuff is right, your situation is clear to everyone but you, and if you back up a few minutes, and look objectively at whats going on, you would see what we see. She is making the rules, and setting the tone, for how this will work in her favor, and your scuffling to keep up, and salvage a few crumbs. Love yourself enough to act in YOUR best interest, and keep your dignity and self respect. You can't change her, but you have full power, and control over what you do. Two choices here, one is to do it her way, and be her girlfriend, until her interests wonder elsewhere, or be responsible for your own health, and happiness, which I might add, she cares nothing about. Your call!

Homegirl 50

She can't have it both ways. She wants space from the relationship but wants you as a "kissing" friend. If you can just be friends with her without it causing you pain, go for it, but cut out the kissing. If it makes you uncomfortable then back off and give her what she asked for. Keep your distance from her. If she asks why you're backing off from her, tell her you are doing what she asked, giving her space. In the meantime, don't pine away for her. She is no longer your gf as per her request, so you treat her as you would any other girl that you know.
She broke up with you, she was doing for herself what she felt she needed to do, now you need to do for yourself. Don't let her cause you any undue pain, remove yourself from her and allow yourself to heal. If she decides she wants you back, think long and hard before you let her come back.
I wish you well

Homegirl 50

I don't know if your ex is using you, she is doing what is best for her, but it is unfair to ask you for space but want to be acting like you're still dating.
You do what is best for you. If this bothers you, back off from her. This is now about you. Her feelings are no longer an issue.

nickshehe

hav0k, you have to follow the advice given above if you want to save yourself..
When I first came on here I was surprised at the pessimism shown in everyone, but it turned out that they had predicted my break up one week before it happened - but I wouldn't believe them..If I had listened to the advice that was given to me and used the advice, I would have been better off.

s_cianci

Yes. Absolutely. She asked for the break so she gets what she asked for! I'd consider moving my seat in the class you have together unless the professor requires you to sit there specifically or there's some other compelling academic reason for you to do so.