My boyfriends baby's mama

Jake2008 · Mar 12, 2012, 06:04 AM

Quote:

I haven't done a single thing for her to hate me other than the fact that he completely divorced her for me.

I'd say that may be part of the problem. You were seeing a married man, and he was cheating on his wife.

Second, you are not married to this man. Third, YOU do not have shared custody of his child, he has shared custody with the child's mother.

You sound very bitter toward his ex wife, with your comments. That attitude of yours, will cause the destruction of your relationship with your boyfriend. He is tied to her until at least, his obligations to his abandoned family are met with the children becoming adults.

So you have many years to go.

My advice to you is to realize your role is not to interfere with your husband's legal obligation to his child, and/or become involved with all conversations that take place between the two of them. Just step aside and let them deal with the business of making decisions together, talking together, arrangements, etc., and realize that it has nothing whatsoever to do with you.

If you choose to stay, the longer term will hopefully see you putting the children first, without resentment, or expecting anything to come of it. It won't be any easier if you marry this man, and be careful about that too- if he cheated on his wife, and left her for you, in my book, he's not exactly a stellar guy to start with.

Try not to characterize her as being a horrible person, as you have. Maybe someday you will know what it feels like to have your husband leave you for a woman who is 14 years younger. You started dating him when you were 22 and he was 35.

If you can't live with what you have created, then yes, it's time to get out, and leave any future married men you meet, out of the picture.

mmresd · Mar 12, 2012, 12:55 PM

You need to calm down, breath. They work on your relationship with your boyfriend, what anyone else does is not of your concern, and the baby mama drama needs to be ignored. Your boyfriend does it, why can't you? I agree with Jake, you are going to have to stay out of it and just focus on your current relationship. If you can't, you might as well break up and end the drama altogether.

vivica · Mar 12, 2012, 04:14 PM

@jake2008 How can you say she has no say in it? As the new wife the decisions made by her husband and the ex-wife will also affect her, therefore she should have a say to. before the husband makes any final decisions with the ex he needs to approach his wife and talk over. Because guess who's going to watch over the children when they come over, cook, clean and take them to school, not the husband!! but the wife. You must be the ex to be so one-sided and critical of this poor girl.
@jdawgslim, the ex doesn't like you because you had an affair with her husband, whether she still wanted to be with him or not at the time, she is hurt and humiliated. The fact that you are still in his life, and around her kids adds insult to injury. Just lay low, don't interact with her, don't answer her phone calls or texts. You do not need to have a relationship with her, she isn't family to you. Focus on the stepkids and your husband. It is up to your husband to ignore her accusations and not entertain her stupidness. Keep on living your life or you're going to stress yourself up trying to impress a woman who will probably never accept you.

grizelda1 · Apr 30, 2012, 10:25 PM

@jake2008 are you serious right now?. She has every say in what goes on. She takes care of her stepson and the fact that you belittled her must mean that you got the bitter end of the stick. As i know exactly what shes going through some woman are just hard headed and stupid no matter what you do you will probably never be good enough mind you, you shouldnt feel like you need her approval. Anyway Im sorry you have to go through this but you should feel good that your husband doesnt believe anything that she says because mine did...no that in the end it all boils down how you treat your stepchildren be good to them. And to answer the question of why she is so bitter to you its because shes jealous and as cliche as that sounds its true. Your much younger probably more beautiful and probably less naggy she has no other choice than to envy the relationship you and him share. And the only thing that connect them is there children so obviously thats all she has to hold over him.

Again IM SORRY

talaniman · May 1, 2012, 12:27 AM

He ignores her, so should you. That includes whatever her friends say about you. She will pay someday for teaching her kids hatred, and they will deal with you the way you treat them.

Have nothing to do with her, or what she does, she is hurt and bitter, as you would be if he left you for a younger woman.

My boyfriends baby's mama

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