I'm 23 years old, I've been with my partner 26 for about a year. When we first started dating everything happened so fast. Within a month of our relationship we were living together. We moved to his home-town where we were living with his parents. I had given up my job, left my friends and even given up my family (I don't have a relationship with my parents due to the terrible upbringing I was raised up in.)My boyfriend helped me come to realization that I was an awesome person and showed me how to trust, love and confide in others. Having to move into his playing field had me rely on him for so much.. then it went both ways, vise versa.
We started as puppy dogs in love.. we couldn't keep our eyes or hands off each other. We had sex whenever we were alone.. (always), then it slowly stated fading to once a day. Then to once every two weeks.At this stage I found myself having to ask for sex. I would always ask If he was okay? Or am I doing something wrong. Sex turned into once a month, every time I would touch my boyfriend he would brush me off or say What are you playing at? I have tried sexy lingerie. But the same old excuses.. he's tired, or he's got to sore stomach or back. I was so use to rejection then I found myself weeks later, blessed with a child,I was nine weeks pregnant. I could not believe it. I was absolutely over the moon. I couldn't have wished for a better person to parent a child with.
We got our behinds into action and moved into our own house. Everything was going well... relationship, sex everything. At eleven weeks pregnant I miscarried due to stress of moving and our finances.
Now everything has gone back to how it was before I was pregnant. I cant touch him without him rejecting me. Now it's eating at me.. I don't have anyone to talk to that are not his friends as well as mine. I am a very private person and I tend to bottle my emotions up. The only person I have is my boyfriend, no family.. because I don't have awesome parents my boyfriend won't marry me. To me that's pretty much saying I'm not good enough.. he reckons it's all in my head.
I've been trying so hard for him to make love to me, but he would rather jack off. I'm getting tired of feeling rejected, tired of feeling like I'm unattractive. My boyfriend has not touched me since I miscarried our baby. It's been 3 months. He is very loyal and respectful so I know he's not cheating on me. I know he's not with me because he feels sorry for me. What do I do?