Please anyone with advice please help...

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and he wont marry me. I have talked to him about it for years and he sais that we will soon and then changes the subject.. After a few years of saying that he finally started saying that he is not ready because he feels like a child and that he is not ready to get married and plus the financial situation but that is just an excuse.

I feel very used and hurt but yet I continue to stay with him, I have become disgusted at him lately to the point where I don't even want to look at him. He sais that if I don't like it to leave and today I got very angry and I told him to leave and that I can't stand him and his attitude. I feel like I lost and waisted 7 years with him lying to me and using me the whole time but in the back of my mind I know that I should have left him a long time ago. When I told him to leave, he just took it like a joke and started watching tv..

This made my really angry that he just acts like he can use me and not take me serious when I asked him to leave. He said that when his program on tv went off then he would leave, he doesn't sound like he cared at all in the least or like I am not serious.

We do not have any kids in the seven years we have been together and I feel so used by him, I have watched my friends my age get married and have many kids and I want that too but I do feel that if I stay with him that I will never be happy. I am not happy and everyday I tell him my feelings and he just shrugs it off and doesn't care that I am hurting. He basically tells me to wait and he will marry me and to have patience but I keep thinking that will never come. I have left him once but he begged for me to come back and said that h would marry me soon but that was a few years ago, so I have been feeling this way for a while.

It is also embarressing when my family and friends ask me when am I going to get married and I just shrug my shoulders because I am speechless and my boyfriend will say soon.. But he has been saying soon to everyone who asks for the past 6 years.

I do feel like he is immature because he is 38 years old, he has no kids and has never been married and he can't save money very well. I want him to change in many ways but I am realizing that he wont and it would take a lot for him to change.

Please help...

klynnm

Wow. I was in your EXACT same situation two years ago. 6 years. No ring. Embarressed, ashamed, jealous of all my friends. It was horrible. One day I woke up, literally out of the blue, called Mr. Wasted Six Years of My Life and said, "Hey, I'm not coming over today. In fact, I'm very unhappy, and it's over." I was estatic for a couple of days, then....well....then I cried for about six months. But I DID get over it. You have to realize sweetheart that he either doesn't want to get married, or doesn't want to marry you. If you meant anything significant to him he would marry you because that's what you want. I know many guys who weren't too interested in getting married but did anyway because they simply wanted to be with their girlfriend for the rest of their life. And if marriage is what she wanted, so be it.

I am with someone else now, it's been a year and a half, and I'm hitting 29 in six months. And I rather die than go for more than two or three years without an engagement ring. I learned the hard way. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married. In fact, there are many men who want to get married too. Dump your "boyfriend" and find someone who wants the same things in life as you do. It will suck, and hurt like hell, but in the end, it's probably the best thing you ever did for yourself.

Free yourself from marathon relationship prison!

stick_labuf

The part that I understand in this situation is the pressure to get married from family. I come from a very large immediate family (talking double digits in siblings) and was in a relationship where I was asked about marriage all the time. I would put on a smile tell a joke about not needing to because I wasn't "knocked up yet", and eventually started lying to them and saying we were looking at rings just to get them off my back. I'd go home and take it out on by guy and nag about when it was gonna happen...just to get it over with. Truth was I wasn't ready (wanted to be more financially sound, finish grad school, and do some traveling). I just wish I had the backbone to communicate that to my family. It took a toll on my well-being and that of my relationship. Make sure your unhappiness is about the relationship and no outside forces are making up your mind for you. I wish I had looked at and enjoyed hat I had in stead of being obsessed with what I didn't.