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truffles04 · Mar 12, 2012, 07:46 PM

We have been together for two and half years (living together for a year). He never tells me he loves me, or that I'm beautiful, fun or caring. When I get upset about it he will something along the lines of Well of course I think you're beautiful!' I feel I need him to show me affection all the time, not just when I am upset about the lack of it. Can anybody offer any advice? I tell him how much I love him and what he means to me on a regular basis.

indya · Mar 12, 2012, 10:06 PM

Sorry, but you sound clingy to me. After the 'honeymoon' period is over in a relationship, things dry out a bit. So a guy who may have said "I love you" to you 100 times a day, may not even say it once a week. The question here is, is the absence of sweet nothings and endearments from his side a sign of waning interest? Has he stopped caring for you?

Actions please louder than words. If his actions show decline in affection for you, means there's some trouble. Otherwise, its normal to lose interest in being vocal about love and affection after being together for a long period. You can try spicing things up a bit to get him to be more vocal.

talaniman · Mar 14, 2012, 06:40 PM

You need more reassurance and lovely words than he does, but many men communicate love and caring in other ways. So frustrated as you are by his actions he probably is as frustrated as you are by your reaction.

Part of being a couple is how you bridge the gender gap to be able to understand each others language, and help each other make the proper adjustments. That's the true essence of communications.

Start by looking around, and seeing evidence that he does care, and appreciate you, by seeing how other areas of the relationship is working, and see if this is but a small glitch in a bigger better picture.

And I will make you aware after the honeymoon period is over, the next phase is the most crucial, where you lay the foundation for future interactions through learning and growing, as you build communications.

What you thought he would be inviting you to tip toe through the tulips with him forever? He probably doesn't need you professing love everyday, so lighten up, and let him learn the fine points of what his woman need.

jmatth09 · May 22, 2012, 06:56 PM

I completely understand how you feel because I am going through the same thing. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and have been living together for a year and he never ever tells me he loves me unless I say it first and never does simple gestures like put his arm around me or hold my hand, even when watching TV or doing simple things. He even told me on our anniversary that he only bought me flowers because he "knew i was expecting it and i would be upset and mad it he didnt." I feel you and I are not desperate or clingy in ANY way because we're not asking for roses every day or love poems 24/7. we just want the little reminders here and there that we are loved and that our men really feel for us like we do for them.

When I try and talk to him about it he makes me feel like I'm asking too much and is clearly annoyed (rolls eyes... as if saying "not again, i dont care."). He won't listen to me at all. I really don't expect much at all. Just SOMETHING. SOME form of affection. Someone on the outside could easily say just leave him them if you are not happy, but parts of me are happy and we also live together, so if we broke up I would be screwed.

Again, we do not expect a lot at all. Just simple reminders that we are in loving relationship and have feelings for each other, and are not just "buds" by itself.

I am not sure what to do either.

C0bra_M3nace · May 23, 2012, 05:05 AM

This post really hit me, I turned around, texted my girlfriend that I loved her and turned back to write this,

I wish your boyfriend could read this right now because he probably doesn't even know how you feel, and he needs to. Sit him down, and talk to him. Let him know how you feel, it's the only method of transportation on the road to recovery.

lisa999 · Jun 14, 2012, 09:32 AM

I know what it feels like to be neglected by your man. My first husband was that way, he had no feelings at all. I felt like I was married to a wall. I left the marriage because of his lousy personality. Now, my second husband is not as bad as the first, but I feel like he takes me for granted. I'm always the one to say I love you or I miss you. I express the way I feel about him all the time and he just kind of listens. When we first met, he was all over me and constantly telling me how crazy he was about me. Those days are long gone now. I am really thinking about leaving him because I feel like I deserve to be loved. I am 12 years younger than him, attractive, educated, and I have a great job as a nurse. Men hit on me a lot and I turn them down, of course. But, I really want to be in a loving relationship with someone. I don't think that sounds clingy, it is just something that would make me feel happy and fulfilled in my relationship.

All I can say to you is if you feel this way now, it will get worse with time. If you are unhappy in your relationship, communicate this with him. If that does not work, find someone else.

Good luck to you!

Sportysanta · Jul 5, 2012, 06:50 PM

Wow, the last entry made me just want to respond. CLINGY you are not. Life is short and women and men alike should feel loved by their partner all the time. What is in your relationship with your significant other will only carry over to your children and the relationships they will foster with their significant others. Be careful and choose wisely. We all deserve to feel loved and ACTIONS do speak louder than words.