I've been with my fiancé for two years. For the past few months he has been going crazy with asking my questions about my past. He asks me very detailed questions that I don't feel comfortable answering. He asks me how many people I have been with, where I had sex, how old I was when I had sex, he wants me to compare his penis to other penis' I have seen. I have told him some people I have dated and some of the intimate things I have done with these people and he uses it against me. For example he knows I've had sex with someone in a car but he has not. He knows I've had a friend that I just fooled around with but didn't date. He says he didn't know I was that kind of girl, or, no one ever wanted to do those things with me, and you won't even. The thing is, I do things with this man I have never imagined doing with others. I tell him I am not answering these questions and he gets mean.
So one day I left to my parents house for the evening just to get a break from all the questioning. The next thing I know is I am getting a phone call from EMS stating my fiancé is in the hospital. I get there and find out he took two bottles of his anti depressants. He was a mess. I have the horrible images etched in my head.
Anyway...
I stayed by his side and I blamed myself for his actions. I sill believe if I didn't leave and I just answered his questions about my past, he wouldn't have done this.

A few weeks later I found out that my fiancé was talking to some random girl on Facebook and gave her his phone number and had plans to meet up with her. I packed and was ready to leave. He convinced me to stay.. I did, only if he changed his phone number and deleted his facebook( I don't have Facebook because henwouldnquestion people on my friends list, so I deleted it.). He changed his number but not his Facebook saying he just kept forgetting. My brother tells me a few days later my fiancé added my brothers ex girlfriend and was talking to her about how he was "bored". And she asked him for his number. My fiancé claimed he wanted to talk to her to try and get me back when I was planning to leave. I believed him and stayed, and took his side against my brothers. A few days after my brother tells me his ex told him my fiancé and her slept together. My fiancé said no they didn't and he couldn't because he loves me too much. I believed him, kind of do. My dad doesn't want to walk me down the aisle and has threatened to take his money back for the wedding. My brother hates my fiancé but I continue to stay..

Today he asked me about a guy I was friends with in high school who I fooled around with. He asked me when and why, and if I stayed friends with this person. I wouldn't answer him. I have told him this story before a few times. And I don't think it benefits our relationship to ask these questions. He went on to tell me I was a bad lay, he would find it somewhere else, him giving his number out was not my business because it's his past, and if he contacts his ex it's OK because that was the past... he apologized for what he said but still asks me about my past... I don't know what to do anymore.

He sounds like a control freak. Move on and find a guy who's worthy of you. (And you're not responsible for his actions against himself, so don't let him control you with that.)

Trishwa, this guy is bad news. One of these days he's going to lose what little control he has and you'll be coming here to tell us he hit you, or worse. I'd bet money on it.

You are being controlled. You're his little toy, his possession. Is this what you want?

I can't blame your family for hating him. I'm sure your dad is desperate to get his daughter away from this abuser, which is exactly what this man is.

Leave, and don't look back. You're worth more then this.

This does not sound like a healthy person to be with at all. He has way to many control issues. Listen to your family in friends they know you better than anyone and have the outside perspective on your relationship. If your brother doesn't like him and your dad doesn't want to walk you down the aisle to him. That speaks volumes to me about this guy. Your own father would not make that kind of judgment if their was not a good reason for it. Listen to your family and get out and get away from this guy.

Leave him before he drives you as crazy, and nutty, as he is. Its not you fault he is a lunatic, and needs professional help! At least if he does something crazy, and ends up in a hospital, they are better equipped to help than you are, so get out while you have your sanity, and can recover from this experience.

I think he gets off about you describing your previous sexual encounters. It's a perversion that he probably doesn't want you to figure out, so acts like he is just jealous.

Iam curioius as to why you allow him to control your life like this. Don't you want to live life to the most. Do you really want this man to be the father of your children. Have you thought about that, if you do end up getting married to this freak that with him being this controlling and preverted who knows what the heck he would do to any children you have.

You know when I read about ladies with controlling freaks like this who are NOT married to them yet, I wonder if they ever see past their own nose to look to the future of the children they will be bringing into this messed up family atmosphere!!

Have you thought about that with him being so much into sexual stimulation that he will be out seeking to to full fill that urge one way or another. Who knows what type of STD's he will be bring back to you!

You need to stop this. Go to your father let him know you are ready to get out and get a normal life without so much chaos. Your family will be there to help you. Remember you are not responsilbe for anyone's happiness or emotional stability other then your own!!

Take care

He just doesn't seem to have it in him to lay a hand on me. When I found him giving his number out. I slapped him hard and beat on him a bit.. and he didn't flinch.

Your actions are as psychotic as his are.

I say run. Lots of major red flags here.

Split & get lots of backup. Stop the cheap BS drama.

My guess is that after 2 years you already knew he was controlling, right? Doesn't sound new. He digs this.

Nows your chance to get away from that control. Don't wait too long.

Imo

Just answer. If your going to marry him doesn't he deserve to know?

Or is it none of his business? If its none of his business I don't think you want the relationship.

The fact is, it is none of his business.

I've been with my husband for 20 years. Whatever happened before I met him is none of his business unless it could physically harm him, or I choose to tell him.

Being in a relationship doesn't give you the right to your SO's past. It's the past for a reason. He doesn't have any right to demand that she divulge her past to him.

Yes, it sounds like this relationship has become emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive. Please get out and stay out of this relationship. Please get help if you need it.

I don't know if it's a "fact", but I agree with your main point. Demanding information like that seem very unhealthy.

I would like to know why you feel you have the right to inflict physical punishment to anyone! We have been advising you to leave this man due to his controlling verbal abuse and possible cheating. Then you come back with a response that you hit him slapped him around a bit--who in the heck do you think you are to physically harm anyone!!

Here we were concerned that he would eventually get to the point of physically harming you, yet apparently it is you that we should be warning him about!!

Anyone who has it in them to physically attack another person, then should have it in them to tell that person you have no intention of explaining your sexual past. This is NOT a loving relationship it if full of controlling issues,emotional and physical abuse. You both need to get out of this relationship and get some profession help. If you chose to stay then you both are only asking for the worse!!

Many people do not realize it, but this is often the way it is with abuse. It's usually not one-sided. It's shocking how cavalier she was in admitting that, but again, relationship abuse is rarely one-sided.

This is a perfect description of my past relationship. Please get out of this as soon as you can. This is a mentally abusive relationship that can easily escalate to a physically abusive one. He has lots of issues, and if you can't see this now, you will once you move on.

The only circumstance under which I would say you could stay with him is if he becomes fully aware of his problems and seeks mental attention. Otherwise, he lacks all self-awareness, and he will never change.

I am in a new and amazing relationship. He is incredibly supportive of all of my dreams and aspirations. This is what you need in your life. You don't need this guy beating you down. Rely on the support of your family and friends, and leave this guy NOW. You do not want to solidify this relationship with marriage and children.

I hope you can realize this in time. I wish only the best for you.

It is better for him not to know, and it is part of the privacy that you don't need to disclose. Stop answering questions and eventually he will stop asking.