My boyfriend of 3 years likes to comment on how hot some girl is. He tells me how when Jessica Alba does her dance in sin city, it turns him on. He talks about an Indian classmate with blue eyes, but I say that she's wearing contacts, then he proceeds to say "...but she looks damn sexy." And it goes on... To be fair he doesn't do this frequently, but when he does get into it---it just goes on. I understand that all males fantasize about other women-they check out other girls-they watch porn. I'm 100% fine with that. Girls do that too. But what really gets to me is that he doesn't think I'm pretty. After talking about how hot girls are in a TV show are, I asked him if he thought I was pretty. He said no. He says that I'm just OK-looking, which in my eyes means ugly. I know he doesn't mean that I'm repulsive-ugly, just that I'm nothing special to him in the looks department. He has said that not once did he ever thought "oh, she looks pretty" about me.

He tells me that looks don't matter to him. If it doesn't, why is he so eager to comment on someone else's attractiveness. After we talked about this, he tells me that he loves me despite my looks.

I just can't be happy about it. No one wants to be told that they don't look pretty. I have told him that he has really nice eyes... and a nice nose. I encourage him to be more confident about his looks. I don't talk about how HOT other guys are because their attractiveness doesn't matter to me. Ugh. After I told him how I felt, he goes on to say "ok, ur pretty." but it was definitely in a sarcastic tone. The only thing he said that was nice about me was "i like the shape of your boobs" and "I like your rosy cheeks" and "I like when u flare ur nose." To me, that was like saying to a mentally retarded kid, "good job you can do addition!" I honestly can't feel better about this because we were already honest to each other about it. I need some outside opinions... please help. Shouldn't we be attracted to our spouse PHYSICALLY?

I want to add that I don't think I'm a really a shallow person. Everyone is to some degree. At first, I didn't think he was at all attractive, but he grew on me. I grew to love almost everything about him. I just don't know why he feels the same way about me?

I know it shouldn't bother me, but it just does, and I can't find a way to cope with this. I know it's petty, but it really is bringing me down.