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missbaby11 · Feb 3, 2010, 05:41 PM

Threads merged for the whole story.

I've been dating this guy for 2 years now and we've become very serious we have been fighting quite a bit lately he gets mad over the smallest things one night I was really upset about something that had got missplaced and I was a bit mad but not at him and he started calling me down so I didn't want to be at his house anymore but instead of letting me leave and talk later when he's not being so mean he forces me to stay by getting abusive by grabbing me and throwing me around and he took my cellphone. So I had to stay and let him talk to me like a piece of crap I feel like he doesn't like me much anymore and is just used to me always being around.. I don't know what to do

At first we were always out at social gatherings and it was fun then it started being less often that we were out at partys and having fun, we started just doing our own thing together I get off work at 4pm everyday and I'll come home get ready and go straight to his house, but recently I said I wanted to hang out with some friends after work and he told me I couldn't because he would have nothing to do while he was waiting for me.. meanwhile he is at his friends everyday for the 2 hours he is home before I am off work and I' want to hangout with my friend once out of a month and he is not okay with that! How can I convince him this is wrong?

Gemini54 · Feb 3, 2010, 06:56 PM

You don't have to convince him of anything, just do what you want to do.

What is he, a child that he can't spend some time alone?

Two years is too long to be with someone that tries to control who you see and when.

Stand your ground, if he doesn't like it what's he going to do, hold his breath until he turns blue?

Fr_Chuck · Feb 3, 2010, 07:04 PM

Control is a form of abuse, you have rights to have friends and do things, so just do it, and let him deal

Gemini54 · Feb 3, 2010, 07:04 PM

It's time to leave.

Her threads were merged

I suggested he was a baby in the other thread, but in this one I'm going to say he's an abuser.

Do you really want someone in your life that treats you this way?

I'm assuming the answer is 'no'.

You know that it's time to let him go - he's abusive, petulant and controlling.

Don't let ANYONE treat you like crapp. If you do, then that's how they will continue to treat you.

Give him the boot. Life's too short to put up with guys like him.

Wolfrey · Feb 3, 2010, 07:32 PM

First let me be clear: The friend you want to see, Is it the opposite gender? If so, would you be hanging out alone? And has there ever been any history between you?

missbaby11 · Feb 3, 2010, 08:15 PM

Originally Posted by Wolfrey

First let me be clear: The friend you want to see, Is it the opposite gender? If so, would you be hanging out alone? And has there ever been any history between you?

No, I told him I was going to go out with a girlfriend after work for coffee or whatever but he told me I couldn't go, he once said to me that he wants me all to himself and didn't like it when I go places without him, no we have no history of cheating, this is why I don't understand.

talaniman · Feb 3, 2010, 08:51 PM

After merging your threads and getting a clearer picture, he is an abuser, and wants to control you through isolation, intimidation and manipulation.

Leave and never return! It will get worse. I doubt this is the only time you have had this problem in the last 2 years.

amicon · Feb 4, 2010, 12:32 AM

What you need to understand is that he is an abusive controlfreak and you should leave him as his behaviour will not change.

It will most probably
Escalate,so walk away.