Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    missbaby11's Avatar
    missbaby11 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 3, 2010, 05:41 PM
    Threads merged for the whole story.

    I've been dating this guy for 2 years now and we've become very serious we have been fighting quite a bit lately he gets mad over the smallest things one night I was really upset about something that had got missplaced and I was a bit mad but not at him and he started calling me down so I didn't want to be at his house anymore but instead of letting me leave and talk later when he's not being so mean he forces me to stay by getting abusive by grabbing me and throwing me around and he took my cellphone. So I had to stay and let him talk to me like a piece of crap I feel like he doesn't like me much anymore and is just used to me always being around.. I don't know what to do

    At first we were always out at social gatherings and it was fun then it started being less often that we were out at partys and having fun, we started just doing our own thing together I get off work at 4pm everyday and I'll come home get ready and go straight to his house, but recently I said I wanted to hang out with some friends after work and he told me I couldn't because he would have nothing to do while he was waiting for me.. meanwhile he is at his friends everyday for the 2 hours he is home before I am off work and I' want to hangout with my friend once out of a month and he is not okay with that! How can I convince him this is wrong?
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Feb 3, 2010, 06:56 PM
    You don't have to convince him of anything, just do what you want to do.

    What is he, a child that he can't spend some time alone?

    Two years is too long to be with someone that tries to control who you see and when.

    Stand your ground, if he doesn't like it what's he going to do, hold his breath until he turns blue?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Feb 3, 2010, 07:04 PM

    Control is a form of abuse, you have rights to have friends and do things, so just do it, and let him deal
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Feb 3, 2010, 07:04 PM
    It's time to leave.

    Her threads were merged

    I suggested he was a baby in the other thread, but in this one I'm going to say he's an abuser.

    Do you really want someone in your life that treats you this way?

    I'm assuming the answer is 'no'.

    You know that it's time to let him go - he's abusive, petulant and controlling.

    Don't let ANYONE treat you like crapp. If you do, then that's how they will continue to treat you.

    Give him the boot. Life's too short to put up with guys like him.
    Wolfrey's Avatar
    Wolfrey Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Feb 3, 2010, 07:32 PM

    First let me be clear: The friend you want to see, Is it the opposite gender? If so, would you be hanging out alone? And has there ever been any history between you?
    missbaby11's Avatar
    missbaby11 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Feb 3, 2010, 08:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfrey View Post
    First let me be clear: The friend you want to see, Is it the opposite gender? If so, would you be hanging out alone? And has there ever been any history between you?
    No, I told him I was going to go out with a girlfriend after work for coffee or whatever but he told me I couldn't go, he once said to me that he wants me all to himself and didn't like it when I go places without him, no we have no history of cheating, this is why I don't understand.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Feb 3, 2010, 08:51 PM
    After merging your threads and getting a clearer picture, he is an abuser, and wants to control you through isolation, intimidation and manipulation.

    Leave and never return! It will get worse. I doubt this is the only time you have had this problem in the last 2 years.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #8

    Feb 4, 2010, 12:32 AM

    What you need to understand is that he is an abusive controlfreak and you should leave him as his behaviour will not change.

    It will most probably
    Escalate,so walk away.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

I like this girl but she won't leave boyfriend the time old question... [ 10 Answers ]

Ive seen multiple variations of this question on this site but I still have a feeling of wanting to ask. I love this girl well she is my best friend. So obviously I told her I loved her and she told me the same we are still friends. We have kissed accidentally one time I shoved her away so I know...

Ex not on lease will not leave.landlord gave her 30 days.still won't leave? [ 12 Answers ]

My ex girlfriend and I were on a lease and it expired 7/15/09. I signed a new lease with only me on it. She will not leave. She stated the landlord had to give her 30 more days to leave. The landlord then sent a certified letter stating she had to leave in 30 days. She will not leave. What rights...

Squatters won't leave [ 4 Answers ]

My wife and I allowed my son's girlfriend and her family to move into our shop building until they could find a place to rent. When they moved in it was supposed to be for "this weekend" and they had a place to move into on Monday. That was in October it is now Feb. We have asked them several...

Roommate won't leave [ 5 Answers ]

I allowed a man to move in my house and rent a room from me. It has been almost 4 years and he is an alcoholic, pays his rent not faithfully, has been unemployed more than employed. I told him I did not want him to smoke in my house but he chain smokes in his room and has ruined my carpet with burn...

She won't leave [ 3 Answers ]

My current housemate won't leave. We are not getting along and she refuses to sort out the issues, so I have asked her to leave. She is refusing to leave. I asked her to be out in a month, which is plenty of time. We are 4 people in the house, me and my boyfriend are on the lease. How do I get her...


View more questions Search